O Me of Little Faith Blog Tour

I need your help. We're about a month away from the release of my next book, O Me of Little Faith. Perhaps I've told you about it before?

My plans are to help promote the book by doing a loosely scheduled blog tour that begins the last week of April (April 26) and continues through the first week of May (May 7). During this week I want to saturate my social network, and yours, with people talking about my book. That's where you come in.

I need people who are willing to do each of these four things during that two-week time period:

1. Read an advance review copy of my book.

2. Post a review of the book on Amazon when it releases.

3. Post a review/interview/song/video or something related to the book on your personal blog.

4. Tell people about that post on your Twitter and/or Facebook account.

If you're willing to do that stuff -- all four steps -- I'll see what I can do about getting an advance copy of O Me of Little Faith sent your way. And, yes, if you want to interview me about the book I'm totally game. We can set it up.

Are you willing? If so, send me an email: jb [at] jasonboyett [dot] com. Please include your mailing address and the name of your blog.

Depending on the response, I might not be able to get a copy to everybody who requests it. It totally depends on the number of review copies Zondervan has available. But I'll see what I can do.

Update (8:48 am, 3/31): Thanks to all of you who have volunteered to help with the blog tour. I've reached my publisher's predetermined limit, so the free advance copy offer has concluded. However, if you still want to preorder the book, I imagine you'll receive it a week ahead of the actual release. And I won't stop you from posting about it, reviewing it on Amazon, and generally talking it up like a crazy person.

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In the meantime, I want to invite you today to use the comments section along the same lines, by answering the following questions:

1. What is the first website or blog you check each day?

2. If you have one, what is the URL of your personal blog?

3. Why do you or do you not want an advance copy of O Me of Little Faith?

John Piper Gets It Right

I'm not a John Piper fanboy. The guy's a passionate Christian, a deep-thinking theologian, and highly respected by a lot of people I respect. But his hard-line Calvinism, belief in double predestination, occasional dumb statements, and seeming need to fit everything into his glory of God theology tend to rub me the wrong way. Maybe it's because he's so very certain about things, and I'm not. And maybe it's also due to the fact that any blogger who says anything negative about Piper can expect to get flamed by his legion of followers.

But...

Piper is a serious pastor and theologian, and sometimes he gets things exactly right. This is one of those times. He announced this weekend that he was going to take an eight-month leave of absence from his pulpit -- in fact, from his entire public ministry, it seems -- in order to deal with some personal issues.

His words: "I asked the elders to consider this leave because of a growing sense that my soul, my marriage, my family, and my ministry-pattern need a reality check from the Holy Spirit...I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry."

Wow. Read his whole explanation and apology. I'm impressed. Here's why:

1. It's proactive rather than reactive. From what I can tell, this isn't in reaction to any brewing scandal. How often do we hear words of apology from preachers, and contrite admissions of guilt...but only after some big controversy gets exposed? Here's a guy nipping it in the bud on his own terms. He's the one bringing his sin out in the open, first, rather than in response to someone else.

2. The big sin? Pride. When public religious figures have to resign or take a leave because of some brewing controversy, it's always because of something like sex or power or greed. Big public sins. But pride? Piper's leaving the pulpit for eight months because he has an "ongoing character flaw" of pride? Man, who doesn't have that ongoing character flaw? (My hand: not raised.) If every pastor in the nation who dealt with unhealthy amounts of pride were to suddenly leave the pulpit, we'd be dealing with a nationwide shortage of preachers. There are public sins and private sins. Pride is one of those sins that you can indulge in and hardly anyone knows. In fact, most people expect it of powerful figures. For him to confess to it openly and let it impact his ministry shows that Piper takes sin very seriously.

3. It's a true sabbatical. He's not taking time off so he can write another book or prepare another sermon series or teach a seminary course. He's taking time off to work on his marriage and these personal issues. Period. "In this leave, I intend to let go of all of it. No book-writing. No sermon preparation or preaching. No blogging. No Twitter. No articles. No reports. No papers. And no speaking engagements." Piper is the kind of guy who is insanely productive as a blogger, writer, Twitterer, preacher -- you name it. If he really does need to deal with these things, this cold-turkey ceasing of these aspects of his ministry shows how big a deal it is.

4. He knows it's a luxury. Not only did he offer to take his leave without pay (it seems his church has refused this), but he recognizes that deciding to take 8 months off work isn't something just any employee can do. "Most working men and women do not have the freedom to step back like this." Understatement of the year. He's blessed to be able to do this at all, and approaches the topic with the necessary humility and compassion for those who will have to work harder in his absence. That's the right approach.

Any pastors and public religious figures who are struggling with any aspect of their ministry -- whether sins public or private, professional burnout, spiritual emptiness, or marriage problems -- should take a page from John Piper on this one. He's not always right, in my opinion, but the way he's handled this situation is dead-on.

My best to him as he deals with whatever issues are plaguing him and his marriage.

Faith and the Faded Tattoo

I have two tattoos. Which isn't as big of a deal as it used to be. Everyone has tattoos now. One of mine is only a couple years old. My wife and I got matching ones on our 13th anniversary, Celtic love knots with four loops (loops for the two of us + each kid).

But I also have another tattoo. At least, I used to. I got it a few months after we got married, in the spring of 1995. It's an ichthus -- a Jesus fish -- on my ankle. Yes, it's a cliche and not very creative, but I was only 21 at the time. After deciding I wanted a tattoo, I remember thinking that one of the best things about getting a tattoo that proclaimed my faith was that it was permanent. It would always be there. I'd never be able to hide my Christianity. (At least not when wearing short socks.)

This was at the tail-end of a really passionate season in my spiritual life, and I was inking my faith onto my skin, knowing it would be there forever.

That tattoo is nearly gone now. For whatever reason, it's almost completely faded. I can still see it if I look for it, but if you saw me in shorts and flip-flops, you'd need to get down on your hands and knees and put your nose about six inches away from my ankle in order to see it. And that would make us both feel really awkward, so just take my word for it: Somehow I got a tattoo with an expiration date.

Now, don't go reading too far into the symbolism. My faith isn't as gone as the tattoo, and I'm nowhere close to saying my faith has faded away. But I think of my tattoo a lot, and about how spiritually gung-ho I was when I got it, and about how I've spent so much time since then in this period of doubt, and every once in awhile I'll remember the tattoo and think about the connection between my ink and my doubt.

Tattoos aren't supposed to disappear. Sometimes we're surprised when things fade away. We didn't want it or expect it, but it happens. And it happens all on its own.

When I asked the question on Tuesday about whether or not you were becoming more or less religious/faithful as you aged, I wasn't surprised to hear from a number of readers who freely admitted that their faith was starting to fade, or had been fading for awhile, or was completely gone. And the fascinating thing about it was that they weren't at all happy about it. They didn't want to lose faith. Becoming less religious meant dealing with a lot of regret.

Haley wrote, "As I have gotten older the questions have begun to seep in and cause me to doubt severely. It breaks my heart, and the sad thing is no matter how much I pray for strong faith it never seems to come."

David wrote, "Much less [religious] as well, and it depresses the hell out of me. I'm not sure why I want to be religious, but I do, and then deeply regret that I'm unable to be."

Tyler wrote, "I've always been filled with doubt, but in recent years the sound has grown too loud to ignore. I wish this weren't the case, and I'm trying to figure out what to do about it."

Growing up, I tended to think that those who doubted or rejected God were doing so out of sin. Losing faith was convenient. It gave people a moral out, I thought, so they could go out drinking and hooking up and doing drugs and taking advantage of guilt-free living.

But that's rarely the case, is it? From personal experience and by talking to others in the same place as the commenters above, religious people often find their faith fading away...and they don't like it. It's happening on its own and seems to be out of their personal control. They didn't go asking questions because they were prideful or stubborn or sinful or looking for a way out. The questions were just there, and the answers that eventually came weren't intellectually or spiritually satisfying, and then the doubt crept in. And they prayed and prayed and prayed against it -- Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief! -- but nothing ever changed.

In the face of doubt, I've prayed for my faith to increase. It hasn't happened. Why not?

Yes, I still believe, but my belief isn't always an intellectual belief, because my prayers for intellectual certainty or stronger faith haven't been answered. So today my faith takes an active form rather than an intellectual one. My faith is what I do. And sometimes it's all I know to do, because I haven't figured out how to make myself believe. I can't just flip a switch. There wasn't a switch to turn my tattoo off, and there's no switch to turn it back on either. I looked down one year and it just wasn't as intense as it used to be.

"It depresses the hell out of me. I'm not sure why I want to be religious, but I do, and then deeply regret that I'm unable to be."

I hear you, David. You're not alone.

You guys are smart. Maybe you have answers to these questions:

Why does faith fade even when we don't want it to?

When we pray for faith, "earnestly seeking him" in light of verses like Hebrews 11:6, then what does it mean when God doesn't answer?

And what in the world happened to my tattoo?

Rapture Ready! An Interview with Daniel Radosh

Daniel Radosh is the kind of freelance writer who makes other freelance writers jealous. Or inspired. But mostly jealous. He's earned himself bylines in the New Yorker, the New York Times, McSweeney's, GQ, Esquire, Salon, Slate, and Playboy. He's been a contributing editor at The Week for a long time and used to be a staff writer and editor for Spy magazine.

He writes a successful blog at Radosh.net, which has gained quite a following for its always-fun anti-caption contests of New Yorker cartoons.

And then last year, he went and got himself hired as a staff writer for the Daily Show. Yes, the one with Jon Stewart.

Daniel hit my radar two or three years ago with the publication of his book Rapture Ready! Adventures in the Parallel Universe of Christian Pop Culture. We have a handful of mutual friends, and he was kind enough to offer an endorsement of my Pocket Guide series as well as my new book. So when I learned that Rapture Ready! was being released in paperback this week, I figured it was time to do a blog interview.

Stick around after the interview for details about a fun Rapture Ready! giveaway. And please do not confuse Daniel's Rapture Ready! site, which contains an excellent multimedia appendix to accompany his book, with RaptureReady.com, which is a very serious watchblog for the End Times. Both are hilarious, of course, but in vastly different ways.

I know you're "a secular Jew," but how observant or devout was your Jewish upbringing? How would you describe your current religious beliefs or outlook?

Secular probably describes how I was brought up better than it does my current beliefs. As a kid I had a cultural identification with Yiddishkeit (that is "Jewishness" rather than "Judaism" in the religious sense) but I didn't go to synagogue or anything. The only Jewish holidays my family observed were Hanukkah, Passover and Oscar Night. These days I identify more as a Humanistic Jew. That's probably splitting hairs as far as most of your readers are concerned since Humanistic Judaism is still secular, but it does involve observance and practice. That is, I belong to a non-theistic congregation, light candles on Shabbat, celebrate holidays and so on, though I see all these traditions as human-evolved rather than divinely ordained.

Where did the idea for Rapture Ready! come from?

A few years back and I was visiting my wife's family in Kansas. Her teenage half-sister is a born-again Christian and we went with her to one of these traveling rock festivals. After one of the bands, her friend came running over and gushed, "Awesome performance! They prayed like three times in a twenty-minute set." I was like, Wait, the stuff between the songs was the most important part? As I explain in the beginning of the book (which you can read here), I've attended plenty of rock shows and thought I'd looked at pop culture from every possible angle, but this was new to me. I found the whole thing simultaneously familiar and disorienting in a way that was incredibly intriguing.

Rapture Ready! seemed to come out at a time when there were several other similar outsiders-immerse-themselves-in-Christianity books, like Lauren Sandler's Righteous and Robert Lanham's The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right, along with AJ Jacobs' Year of Living Biblically. And all you guys kind of run in the same writerly circles in Brooklyn, right? How does that happen? Was it a contest or something?

AJ lives on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. That's like a totally different country, so I challenge your premise right there. But don't forget Andrew Beaujon's Body Piercing Saved My Life, and excellent recent books like In the Land of Believers by Gina Welch, The Unlikely Disciple by Kevin Roose, and My Jesus Year by Benyamin Cohen. So I guess what I'm saying is the contest is over and AJ won. That's why we all go to him for blurbs.

I'm guilty of that, too, and I don't even live in the same time zone as AJ, much less the same city. One thing I love about Rapture Ready! is that you're not afraid to be critical of the stupid things, like "Jesus junk" or the Rock for Life logo of a fetus shredding on guitar, but you also find some positive things about the subculture. What are some of the things that confounded your expectations? Did these surprise you?

With little knowledge about evangelicalism other than what I'd seen in the media, I went into this project expecting to find that Christian pop culture was largely a delivery mechanism for a conservative political agenda—a spoonful of sugar to help the napalm go down, if you will. And while that definitely exists, I discovered that there is another way in which pop culture serves as a moderating force within evangelicalism. Maybe that shouldn't have been too much of a surprise, since creative people are often the most open-minded of any society. Many Christian artists, musicians in particular, no longer want to be constrained by the Christian bubble, so they play secular clubs and tour with mainstream bands. They get to meet a wide variety of people and are exposed to many different ideas. Their stature in the culture gives them a kind of grassroots moral authority to challenge the intolerance of many church leaders. They don't necessarily espouse liberal politics, though some do, but they are likely to help their young fans understand that the world isn't necessarily as black and white as their youth pastor might have led them to believe. That was an eye-opener for me.

I think there's a lot of value in looking at our faith from an outsider's perspective. Since you can provide that kind of expertise, what are a couple of things that come across as weird, disturbing, or misguided to secular people, but which Evangelical Christians don't realize because we're too close?

Well, as I learned pretty quickly a lot of Christians are themselves outsiders to the type of Christian culture sold in Lifeway stores, and I suspect most folks here don't need me to point out how odd and unfortunate things like gospel golf balls are. But I will say that whenever a Christian warns against being "too heavy-handed" in pop culture, they're about to embrace something really heavy-handed.

A similar blind spot seems to be Christianese. I constantly heard Christians observing that it's important not to speak in Christianese—and then almost without fail using a string of Christian buzzwords. I realized that Christians think the rest of us will be mystified by theological terms like "justification" or whatever, when what really sounds weird to us is the spiritual appropriation of ordinary words like "heart" and "walk."

You've said before that you think the world would be a better place if non-Christians were more open to the best of Christian culture. What kinds of things do you place in that "best of Christian culture" category?

I was fortunate enough to read an advance copy of a book called O Me of Little Faith, so I'm definitely going to include that.

Thank you for that. Your bag of cash is on the way. Please continue.

Mostly what I recommend to people is the kind of indie music I heard at Cornerstone: artists like mewithoutYou, Over the Rhine, Jonathan Rundman. Unlike the two kinds of Christian music that get played on the radio, the bands I found myself really enjoying neither hide their faith nor sell it. These aren’t advertising jingles for Jesus or anodyne praise songs, they’re complex meditations on the joys and struggles of ordinary people who believe—or at least want to believe—in the messages they find in the Bible. I may not share their beliefs, but I do find them interesting and there are elements of them that I can relate to. Even something like Sherri Shepherd's new sitcom on Lifetime isn't particularly cutting edge but it's legitimately entertaining and uses humor to illuminate real aspects of everyday American Christian life.

What was creepier: the Creation Museum in Ohio, the Holy Land Experience theme park in Orlando, or the time when you appeared as an extra in an anti-Semitic Passion play in Arkansas, calling for Jesus to be crucified? Please explain.

Ooh, tough call. I'll rule out Holy Land Experience, which was too sterile and and cheesy to be genuinely creepy (or, I probably don't need to point out, holy). The Passion play was an insane and almost hallucinatory experience, which probably had more to do with the way I approached it than anything—it's the only time I went "undercover," which I felt was necessary given, as you mention, this particular production's anti-Semitic history. It unfolds on this giant outdoor stage the size of two football fields. The audience is so far away that they can't hear the actors—all the dialogue is prerecorded and the performers just lip synch. So I volunteer as an extra and I find myself in the angry Jewish mob—this show was a real throwback to an unpleasant older era, and it was really the only time I encountered any anti-Semitic overtones. I'm on this very realistic set with all these people yelling and I kind of start freaking out and I think, "I can't go along with this." And instead of shouting, "Crucify him!" I raise my arms so the audience can see, if not hear, and I say, "Maybe we should let him off with a flogging!"

That said, the Passion play ultimately seemed so out of step with contemporary Christian culture that I couldn't take it too seriously. So I'll go with the Creation Museum because it was actually worse than I expected. Before I visited it I didn’t really understand Young Earth Creationism. I had thought it was a form of pseudoscience—that is, a false belief system that nonetheless attempts to do what science does: explain something. But the creationists at this museum aren’t genuinely interested in how the world was created or where people come from. Creationism is valuable to them to the extent that it is a tool for converting people to conservative Christianity, and, by extension, waging war against what they see as anti-Christian forces.

I know that sounds paranoid, but check out the last photo on my online appendix page for the museum. It’s a slide from a PowerPoint presentation by Ken Ham, the founder of the museum, and it shows how a fortress built on creationism can destroy humanism and its attendant symptoms, such as school violence and homosexuality.

Give your sales pitch. Why do Christians need to read Rapture Ready! Why do non-believers need to read it?

You know, it's not really a message book. Mainly I hope people will read it because it's entertaining. But I think in general there needs to be more communication between believers and non-believers. Christians are often too willing to retreat into their bubble and non-Christians are only too happy to let them stay there. But insularity is a breeding ground for fundamentalism, which is not in the interest of either Christians or the rest of us. And on the flip
side, secular America's insularity from Jesus' message of universal brotherhood and moral responsibility is a recipe for, well, Jersey Shore. What I'm saying is, we can all benefit from thinking harder about other ways to live.

What was the coolest thing that happened to you in 2009? Was it getting hired as a writer for The Daily Show? Or getting to interview Paul and Ringo for your New York Times Magazine cover story on The Beatles: Rock Band?

Hmm. I think I'm obligated to say the birth of my daughter in September, even though she's my third child and, let's face it, the novelty wears off after a while.

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Thanks, Daniel. Rapture Ready! really is a great book. It's funny, well-written, open-minded, and interested in doing more than just poking fun at the rampant weirdness of Christian culture. You should go buy it right now. And as long as you're following my commands, go pre-order O Me of Little Faith. And make me a sandwich.

Daniel has graciously agreed to a giveaway. He's offering a free copy of the book plus an accompanying soundtrack CD. The CD is a nicely packaged but bootleg compilation of, in his words, "great, not-so-great and just plain terrible Christian music inspired by the book." It features tracks from musicians he meets, discusses, or who illustrate points he makes in the book -- from Larry Norman to T-Bone Burnett to Andy Hunter. "I still listen to it regularly," he says.

To enter your name in a random drawing to win the book and CD, simply leave a comment below. Daniel's an occasional commenter here anyway, and will be stopping by today to join any discussion that develops. If you have any questions you want to ask him directly, feel free.

We'll choose the winner randomly after 9 am tomorrow and let you know.

More Religious? Or Less?

As a whole, I am less religious now than I was when I was a teenager. You wouldn't know it, probably, by looking at me. I still go to church on a regular basis. My family prays before meals and we always pray with our kids before they go to bed. I write religious-themed books and write for religious magazines and every once in awhile I speak/preach at a church.

But that's external stuff.

In terms of my interior life and outlook, however, an honest assessment would require admitting I'm less religiously inclined than I used to be. As I have become more educated, as my reading has expanded, as my doubts have increased, my internal religiosity has declined.

And whether you think that's a good thing or a bad thing, the whole construct make sense to me. It works numerically: the numbers of young adults eventually dropping out of church or abandoning their faith have been widely documented. And it works anecdotally, too: As a kid, I didn't know to ask a lot of the questions I ask now. As I've aged, and as those questions have come up -- and not always with satisfactory answers -- I've seen myself becoming less faithful, less spiritual, less religious.

So it seems to make sense, especially in an increasingly scientific and secular society, that people would become less religious as they age.

But then I keep seeing reports that conflict with that common sense, about how people tend to become more religious as they age. I read an article to that effect in a recent issue of my parents' AARP magazine (I'm not a regular reader of AARP, but it was a Friday night at my parents and I found myself paging through it). I can't find the specific article online, but it reported that a certain percentage of senior adults responded that their religious faith increased with age. A variety of polls, including this 2006 Gallup poll, have found that older Americans are more likely than younger Americans to say religion is "very important in their lives."

Of course, there are lots of factors to consider. Older Americans tend to come from more religious generations to begin with. And could the elderly become more religious in response to life’s difficulties or impending mortality (of themselves or of their friends)? I totally think so. I've seen it with my own grandparents, who seem to go to funerals on a weekly basis. When you are outliving your friends and siblings, religion can be a great comfort.

But that's them. What about us? What will it look like when our generation grows old? Will we follow the baby boomers in becoming more religious as we age? Or will we follow the newer trend of losing our religion?

What about you? As you've grown older, has your faith increased or diminished? If you have a story, this is the place to tell it.

Art Appreciation

The oil painting above is called "Mother Mary with the Holy Child Jesus Christ." It was painted by a European artist in the early part of the 20th century. It's not a fantastic piece of art by any means, but has some nice touches. For instance, rarely do you see Jesus pictures with daisies in them. And my eye keeps returning to the warmth and brightness of the background.

So here's my question: At first glance, do you like the painting? Is there anything attractive about it?

Look at it and answer the question for yourself, and then read my first comment, in which I'll pose a follow-up question.

Meet the Mama Monk

I'm the oldest of three Boyett siblings. I've discussed my brother the prestidigitator and his inner-city ministry a time or two, but haven't ever said much about my little sister. I'm not sure of the reason for this, other than the fact that she hasn't ever been very active online, and I didn't have anywhere to link.

In retrospect, that sounds really dumb, but it might in fact be true. Anyway, she's online now. Micha Boyett-Hohorst is now blogging as the Mama:Monk and tweeting as @mbhohorst, and it's about stinking time. She's an excellent writer, a wonderful person, and the only Boyett family member to have lived in the Northeast Yankee Territories (Philadelphia) and the West Coast Liberal Territories (San Francisco) of the United States. She's practically an alien life form in our family, but we love her all the same.

You need to meet her. So I decided to interview my very own sister, a graduate-degree poet who, just a few weeks into it, has already created a fascinating blog about motherhood and monasticism.

Jason: I've always thought you'd make a good blogger, but you've held out for a long time. Why make the leap now?

Micha: I am the least Internet-savvy 30-year-old on the continent. I am miserable about Facebook and I’m still getting used to email. I would have been so happy being a character in a Jane Austen novel. I could sit around all day drinking tea in an uncomfortable dress, my only task to write long letters with a pen and actual paper.

Also, I spent the last four years in full time youth ministry. It was not a season of my life where I felt I could focus on writing. Now that I’m staying home full time with my little boy, I’m excited about it.

Where did the fascination with Benedictine monks come from? You know we're Baptists, right?

I know, I know. I’m the worst Baptist ever. My Baptist college won’t even claim me anymore now that I went off the deep end and baptized my baby in an Anglican church.

The monk fascination started with a love for the liturgy. My faith often feels weak and really delicate. I need an earthy reassurance. There’s something about the liturgy that secures me, that tethers me in a fixed, permanent way to the believers who’ve gone before me. It’s this powerful connection. I love that the prayers and creeds and scripture passages we speak on Sunday in the liturgy are the same that believers all over the world are speaking. I love that we’re praying what has been prayed for centuries.

August’s birth changed everything, including my spiritual life. I was prepared for the outward changes motherhood would bring: diapering and comforting and feeding. But I wasn’t prepared for what motherhood would do to my inner life. My sense of normalcy changed so much that I struggled to focus on anything else but August. The time and attention that prayer required seemed impossible and that produced in me an overwhelming anxiety. I needed to relearn how to pray.

Around that time I was reading Kathleen Norris’ book The Cloister Walk, a book about a year she spent in a Benedictine monastery. Her prologue mentions that Benedictines live as if there is enough time each day for work, study, rest and prayer. And I had this moment of clarity: That’s what I need. Enough time to be a mom and pray and still enjoy the things and people I love. So I figured I’d better let Benedict and his monks start teaching me how to not be a crazy mother.

What was one of the biggest surprises about motherhood for you?

Amazingly, it has relaxed me. August has slowed me down in really lovely ways. Since I’m a naturally anxious person, I was fearful that when he was born, I’d be freaking out and screaming at my husband and constantly worried about all the ways he could die. And don’t get me wrong, I can still be nervous about the little guy, but the first time I held him, I felt my insides settle a little.

I have always been concerned with doing enough, wanting my life to count for something. Being a mother naturally forced me into another schedule, a much slower, all consuming schedule. And I can’t find my worth any more in how much I can “accomplish” each day. Because, really, with a toddler, I can’t accomplish much other than playing and eating and living.

You've been a mom for a couple of years now, in two different parts of the country. How is motherhood in San Francisco different from being a mom in Philadelphia?

We were in the suburbs in Philly. And we are right in the city here in San Francisco. I love being in the city with August. He’s exposed to so much of the world here. I love that we can walk down our block at 8:30 in the morning and see fifty elderly people from Chinatown doing Tai-Chi in the park. He hears people speaking Mandarin all the time. We come across homeless people every day and he’s learning to smile at them and say hi. I love the community feeling of having one park that all the kids in the neighborhood go to every day because there’s nowhere else to play.

In Philly, August had some really special adults in his life who loved him and prayed for him. As much as we live in more of a physical community here, it’s surface level and based around location. I know it takes time to develop meaningful relationships, but I miss the support system we had in Philadelphia.

You have a prestigious MFA in poetry from Syracuse. How is that degree impacting your life right now? (I ask this on behalf of the blue-collar side of our family.)

Thank you for the meaningful question, brother! It’s impacting my life because poetry is just a part of my life. I’ve always loved sound and form and rhythm. Poetry creates an emotion or image or moment of beauty in such a small amount of space. Every word has a purpose. Nothing’s wasted. Poetry doesn’t need anything other than words to do its work. The words make the rhythm; the language is the music.

I know that people get their MFAs in poetry to actually “become” poets and though I’m not saying I’m a poetry failure, I’m also not an MFA success story. I worked on publishing poems for a while and got burned out by it. I don’t think I have what it takes to make it in the dangerous world of poetry! Maybe that’ll change and I’ll pursue it again, but for now I think poetry’s role in my life is to make me a mother who loves Art and allows that to give me joy and help me pray.

Plus, my blog is committed to memorizing poems! Woohoo!

Describe the three Boyett siblings, as a whole, in a sentence of six words or less.

Three blond child-waifs eat burritos.

I think that fittingly describes our childhood.

Wow. I wasn't sure you could do it, but that pretty much sums it up. Well done. So after three weeks of blogging, what do you like best about it?

I love the pressure of writing everyday. I love hearing from readers and feeling like we’re connecting. And I love having a place where I can work through what I’m learning on a daily basis.

What are your goals for Mama:Monk?

I want Mama:Monk to be a place that challenges me and my readers to live a life of contemplation in the midst of the craziness of motherhood. I’m hoping it challenges us to live out a calling to hospitality in a culture that has locked individual families away neatly in suburban homes and broken our relationships to the point that friendships are something we have to schedule.

I want it to be a place where we can struggle with the complexities of being a stay-at-home mom in a culture that doesn’t value that choice. I hate meeting new people and having to answer the, “So what do you do?” question. It’s so loaded. Why is it so hard to value myself and my role as a stay-at-home mom? I want to learn how to answer that question without feeling like a lame-o.

I want to learn with my readers how to be moms of confidence and joy who live like monks, without being bald and wearing robes. (Well, sometimes I wear a robe.)

Why is August (the child) awesome?

Because today while we read his dinosaur book. I read: “There were dinosaurs with clubs on their tails,” and he lovingly caressed the dinosaur and said: “Boomboom! Owowow!”

Why is August (the month) awesome?

Fireflies. Swimming pools. My birthday. New school clothes!

What do you think my readers need to know about me that I probably would never tell them because I am too image-conscious?

They should know that when you were in high school you tried to be a Christian rapper. Mom sewed you several pairs of MC Hammer-esque balloon pants -- I recall a pair of black with white polka dots -- which you wore on a daily basis (or at least around our house). You and some friends performed a rap at my youth group’s middle school Valentine party. And (should I say it?), you called yourselves “The Sheep Posse.”

Wow. It’s out there. How do you feel, buddy?

Well. I certainly regret having asked that question. You couldn't have talked about my beautiful hair? Regardless: Sheep posse, ho!

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So that's my sister, Micha. If you're a mom -- stay-at-home or otherwise -- you need to be reading her blog. If you're like me, you'll also enjoy it, just because my sister is a deep spiritual thinker, a voracious reader, and a gifted writer.

Go get to know the Mama:Monk and follow her on Twitter.

12 Mostly True Facts About St. Patrick

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Let us reflect today on the life of the great 5th century patron saint of Ireland, who lived in the 5th century.

1. St. Patrick wasn't born in Ireland. He was born in Britain. And when he was born, he wasn't named St. Patrick. It was just Patrick. Or, actually Naomh Padraig. Or Gaewyn. Either way, the "saint" part came later.

2. Truly the best part about St. Patrick's story is that, as a teenager, he was kidnapped by pirates. Pirates! Avast!

3. Eventually the pirates sold him as a slave to an Irish landowner who gave young Pat the job of tending sheep. After a months as a pirate captive, shepherding can seem pretty boring, so Patrick decided that prayer would make the long hours of nothing much happening...well, not quite as long. By his account, he prayed up to a hundred times a day.

4. Several years into his slavery, God appeared to Patrick in a dream and told him to pack up and head for the coast. So he did. Historically, it's hard to tell whether he escaped or was freed, but we do know that he traveled around 200 miles to a seaport, where he made friends with some sailors and headed out for a vacation on the high seas before returning to his family. Don't judge him. He'd been a slave! A guy's gotta let loose.

5. Once back home, his piratey adventures behind him, Patrick began training for the priesthood. Then he had another vision in which the people of Ireland were calling for him to come back to the land of his slavery. Specifically, they requested that he "come and walk among us." Sheep herding was not mentioned, so Pat was cool with it. He went back to Ireland.

6. Back in Ireland, he performed a variety of pious activities. Like converting thousands of people, including pagan kings and their entire kingdoms.

7. He also, according to legend, explained the concept of the Trinity by using, as an example, a three-fingered leprechaun. Wait, that's not right. It was a three-leafed shamrock.

8. You'll occasionally find St. Patrick pictured with a bunch of snakes. That's because, according to legend, he drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Which is an interesting fact seeing how the surrounded-by-water, post-glacial geography of Ireland has never been a very good snake habitat, so giving Patrick credit for the absence of snakes in Ireland is like giving Oral Roberts credit for the lack of swordfish in Oklahoma.

9. In retrospect, a lot of historians think "snakes" are a metaphor for pagan druids.

10. Beware the poisonous red, yellow, and black-striped coral pagan druid. Remember, "red and yellow, kill a fellow."

11. Speaking of killing fellows, one story has a pagan druid chieftain named Dichu attempting to stop Patrick from entering Ireland as a missionary. As pagan druids often do when confronted with missionary activity, he lifted his sword to cleave Patrick in two. But suddenly Dichu's arm became rigid, and he was unable to move it until he pledged obedience to Patrick. Dichu became the first Irish convert to Christianity.

12. Sure, Ireland gets all the press for claiming Patrick as its patron saint. But you know who else he's the patron saint of? Nigeria, that's who. Because Patrick once traveled there after being told that the widow of a deposed African dictator needed his help to access a large amount of unclaimed money, and could he please provide account transfer information to help secure his percentage of the funds?

13. March 17 is believed to be Patrick's death date -- either in 461 or 493 (it's disputed) -- so eventually that became his feast day and a good excuse to pinch people and/or drink green beer.

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For additional fun facts about St. Patrick (and other saint), check out my 2009 book Pocket Guide to Sainthood.

Ride:Well Tour Participant Chase Livingston

Chase Livington has been a reader of this blog since he won one of my contests back in the summer of 2009 ("Chia: An Inconvenient Pet"). I recently found out that Chase has been accepted as one of the participants in the Ride:Well bicycle tour across the United States this summer. It's a big fundraiser for Blood:Water Mission, made famous when Don Miller participated in the first event a couple years ago.

Anyway, to help raise money for this worthy cause, Chase is giving away signed copies of my book Pocket Guide to the Bible for every $25 donation.

I'm sorta biased, I think this is a great idea and asked if I could interview him about it.

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Tell us about yourself. For those who don't know, who are you?

I am a husband, caregiver, and storyteller. I am an aspiring advocate for victims of extreme poverty, modern-day slavery, and sex trafficking. I hope to motivate young adults to take their lives seriously and to passionately pursue mercy rather than money or mediocrity. Also, as my mom will tell you, I try to be funny.

I write at chasebook.wordpress.com and contribute regularly to Christ and Pop Culture.

Why did you decide to apply to participate in the Ride:Well tour?

I blame Donald Miller.

We moved to Jackson from Nashville last year to provide care for my wife’s mom, who requires live-in assistance. This was not the ideal time to forsake a state job (or any job for that) but it had to be done. Unable even to secure an interview, I spent most of the year worried.

I had been reading Miller’s A Million Miles in a Thousand Years when, up too late one November night, I scoured job sites in futility. In that book he tells of his involvement with the inaugural Ride:Well Tour in 2008. He details his hesitation and how he concluded that, aside from fear, he had no reason not to participate.

When I read that Ride:Well was taking applications [for the 2010 Tour], I could faintly hear Donald Miller’s voice as if it were calling from a wheat field and directing me to build something. I believed the cause a worthy one. I had supported it for years. Unemployed, I didn’t have anything better to do and that didn’t appear to be changing anytime soon. I wanted to be an advocate but I waited for approval. Why? This was my ticket.

I was beckoned from a wheat field: Go!

You heard it here first. Don Miller isn't just a great writer and speaker. He may also be the ghost of Shoeless Joe Jackson. Anyway, what are the specifics of the Tour?

On June 2nd, 15 of us depart from San Diego on a cross-country cycling expedition en route to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where we will arrive 3,000 miles later on July 26th. Along the way, we will stop and share with churches and others about the need for clean water to combat and prevent disease in sub-Saharan Africa.

This year we have the privilege of sharing the experience with Anne Jackson, author of Mad Church Disease and the forthcoming Permission to Speak Freely.

[Note: I interviewed Anne back in 2008 before the release of Mad Church Disease.]

What was your response upon finding out your application had been accepted?

I expected not to be accepted. I was preparing myself for that. The interview went amazingly but I've learned that doesn't always mean very much. They called back and asked a couple of clarifying questions. I was babbling explanations when I realized he (Josh Iniguez) wanted to speak. He said, "I'd like to invite you to be a part of the 2010 Ride:Well Southern Tour." I was so surprised I answered dryly, "OK." After hanging up the phone, I started laughing. It was a moment of great joy.

Were you a bike rider beforehand? What are you doing to prepare for the Tour?

Actually, no. People have said, "I didn't know you were a cyclist." I tell them, "I am becoming one." Through the winter months, the stationary bike has been my best friend. I was doing 10 miles most days. Other days, I alternated between the treadmill and strength training exercises. I'm glad that it's warming up now, I've been able to go out on the road everyday this week. By the end of March, I look to be doing 20 miles comfortably.

I've adjusted my diet a bit and have joined Fat Church...err...Weight Watchers. So far, in two weeks, I've lost eight pounds. They gave me a sticker!

Congratulations on your sticker. What are you looking forward to most about the experience?

It will be nice to see the country (I've never been west of Louisiana) and pushing my limits is a big plus, but the thing I am most anticipating is one which I have already gotten a taste for: watching as people recognize a need and then get pumped about meeting that need. That really changes the shape of a person's life. It brings hope in.

What's the scariest thing about it?

I'm afraid I'll get hit by a car. That fear has been with me many years, which makes it pretty hilarious that I am going through with this.

It's likely that I'll get lost. I got lost on nearly every youth trip I ever went on. On one of my outings this week, I made a wrong turn and ended up 3 miles out of the way. Of course, GPS will be mandatory for me.

I am most concerned about how excessively I am going to miss my wife.

Where did the Pocket Guide to the Bible giveaway idea come from? (Thanks for that, by the way.)

Last summer, I won your "Name Your Own Toy-Based Movie" contest. My winning entry was, Chia: An Inconvenient Pet. My prize was a copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible. Upon receipt of it, I immediately recognized its potential as both a gift and a handy resource.

This is my first foray into fundraising but I take my campaign very seriously. I aim to accumulate several thousand dollars above the required amount. My goals are huge, yet my resources are limited. So, I'm considering every option. I remembered that you had a garage full of Pocket Guide to the Bible. I believed that all variety of people would find this a worthy incentive to give.

How much do you still need to fund the trip?

$3,700, but $1,000 of that is a required donation to Blood:Water Mission. I am anxious to arrive at that point $2,700 dollars from now when trip expenses are covered and I can say, "Every dollar provides water for one African for one year." I think people will be more enthusiastic about that. I know I will.

How can my readers help you reach your goal?

A $25 donation will get them an autographed copy of your Pocket Guide to the Bible and an entry to win 61 other books from my personal library. If I could sell all 124 copies, I'd be just short of the amount I need to raise.

Additionally, I am launching what I call the 1,000 Blogs Project. I have adapted the name from Blood:Water's 1,000 Wells Project in which they have set out to build or restore a total of 1,000 wells. My project is simpler and slightly less ambitious. I want to get an outrageous number of bloggers to commit to raise $55 for Ride:Well Tour by way of their blogs before April 3rd, the last day of the 40 Days of Water Campaign. If 1,000 people did this, we could make up $55,000 for clean water.

Also, I will guest post about this wherever anyone will let me. I am eager to get the word out. Contact me if you are interested in either of these ideas. charles.livingston at gmail.com

Together we can build an army of people concerned about a crisis and moved to respond. It is dire, but it is not hopeless. Something can be done. Change can be effected.

Thank you.

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Thank you, Chase. Best of luck in the fundraising and the eventual Tour. Now, go get on your bike.

Follow Chase on Twitter to keep up with his fundraising and, eventually, the progress of the Tour. If you want to help spread the word, get in touch with him and blog about it. And if you have a few spare bucks, give toward his campaign.

More Questions about Writing

More writing-related questions. Let's get right to them:

What is your opinion on self-publishing?

Just a few years ago, self-publishing was how writers got their books printed when the books weren't good enough to get printed "for real" in the traditional sense. It carried a bit of a stigma -- bypassing official channels -- and most of the writing and publishing world looked down on it. It was expensive, too. But that stigma is decreasing more and more, and so is the cost, and self-publishing is becoming a viable alternative. Thanks to publish-on-demand places like BookSurge and Lulu, it's easier than ever.

But it's still hard. Unless something crazy happens, your self-published book probably won't sell very much, or get the attention of an agent or publisher. Unless you're a good designer or willing to pay one, it won't look like a "real" book. Unless you get a pro to edit it or you're a better writer than most professional writers, it won't read like a real book, either.

So self-publishing is easier and more acceptable than ever, but I'd still only use it as a last resort if you've tried all options for your book -- or if you have the kind of book that will sell in a niche market and you're willing and able to sell it like a maniac.

But don't take my word for it, because I don't know too much about it. Here's a great overview by a guy who's actually done it: 25 Things You Need to Know About Self-Publishing.

I'm reading a book right now that was self-published. It's called The Gospel According to Chubby, by Jeremy Rochford. I'm pretty sure he wrote it intending to self-publish from the beginning. It's very well done and a compelling read, but I keep finding myself thinking, why didn't he take this to a publisher first?

How do you feel about e-books?

I don't have any problem with e-books, and am not the kind of writer who goes on and on about the textile value of a book in your hand, the smell of paper, the death of real reading, and all that stuff. To survive, the book industry will have to evolve, and e-books are the next step. As the Kindle continues to improve -- and as the iPad does whatever it's going to do -- we'll see the market for e-books expand. This is good for publishers and writers in the long run, because e-books are cheaper to produce and distribute. iTunes was good for musicians. It can be good for writers, too.

I still prefer to read a book the old-fashioned way, but that's probably because I don't yet have a Kindle. My Pocket Guides are available for Kindle, by the way. Pocket Guide to the Bible, Pocket Guide to the Afterlife, Pocket Guide to Sainthood

What's your favorite type of work? (Melanie)

I love having written a book, but I can't say I adore the process of writing books, especially since most of mine are very intense when it comes to research. Don't take this as me complaining about getting to write books. I know I'm living the dream of a lot of aspiring writers. But writing research-heavy books under deadline, when you already have a full-time job, is mentally and physically taxing, to say the least. It's enjoyable, but it's a weird kind of enjoyable, like running a marathon.

I like finishing work -- checking things off a list -- and that's one reason copywriting appeals to me. It involves a lot of small projects. I can work on a brochure or website FAQ and finish it within a short period of time. Writing print ads are a creative challenge, and TV and radio commercial scripts are fun, too. I love writing for Twitter, both personally and for client work (yes, I actually have a couple of clients for whom I ghost-tweet).

So, short-form work pushes a lot of my buttons. Books take months to complete, and as a result it's hard to keep my intensity and enjoyment level up. But I'd much rather look back at a year and say "I wrote that book in 2009" than look back and say "I wrote 2,360 tweets in 2009." Call me crazy.

How do you not get ripped off when publishing a book? (Nicodemus at Nite)

I'm not sure I completely understand this question. Does it mean "why do you continue writing books when you make so little money at it?" That's how I take it, and it's a legitimate question. The truth is that only a very small percentage of writers make a good living from writing books. I am not within that percentage, but I continue to write. It takes hours and hours of commitment, and I make way more per hour as a copywriter than I do as a book writer. So why do I do it?

Part of it has to do with my identity. I won't lie: I like identifying myself as a writer, because it sets me apart. It impresses people, even though most of them have never heard of my books. It helps me get clients, too, in my regular job. When a business asks for samples of my work, I can give them a book. Or 9 books. It makes for a nice addition to the resume. And there are other benefits, too: because I've written these books, I get invited to speak in interesting places. I've gotten to be on DVDs and cable documentaries. I get to do radio and magazine interviews. Once, I almost got my own TV show gig out of it. Fun stuff.

And there's always the potential. The hope that someday I'll hit it big and writing books can be my full-time job and I can roll around in pools of money like Scrooge McDuck. (Shoutout: Bryan.)

But mostly, I write books because I like to do it. It gives me a sense of fulfillment. It's become part of who I am -- like competing in triathlons or running long distances. Some people see the time and effort I put into it and the meager reward it brings, and they think I'm crazy. But I wouldn't have it any other way. The best-lived lives are the ones that look a little bit crazy.

Or maybe I'm totally misreading the question and it's about getting ripped off in another way? I don't know. If I missed the point, Nicodemus, let me know.

Can you juggle?

Yes.

Assuming you could use only five condiments the rest of your life and they were stored in a fresh and never-ending supply in one finger each on one of your hands, which condiments would you choose and which finger would they be stored in?

Thumb: Salsa. Is salsa a condiment? I hope it is, because it's a staple of my diet. It would have to be fresh salsa, though. Homemade. Not that stuff in a jar at the grocery store.

Pointer finger: Miracle Whip Light. If I eat a sandwich, wrap, or hamburger, you can bet it will have the tangy zip of Miracle Whip (Light).

Middle finger: Because you have to have ketchup for french fries or burgers. You just have to. In a pinch, it will even replace barbecue sauce.

Ring finger: Honey. Because I love honey on biscuits, toast, bread, crescent rolls, fruit, nuggets from Chick-Fil-A, and occasionally in hot tea.

Pinky finger: Syrup. I'm a fan of honey, but honey on waffles or pancakes instead of syrup is just wrong. I don't need a ton of it, but a life without syrup is unimaginable.

And now I am filled with deep regret that I have no digits left for Louisiana Hot Sauce. If I were tied to these five fingers and these five condiments for the rest of my life, I would seriously consider plastic surgery so I could fit in the hot sauce. Maybe I could shoot it from my wrist?

(Thanks to my brother for asking me this question, which came from something he saw on Deadspin.)

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If you want to answer the finger/condiments question for yourself, you go right ahead.

Do It Well

Today I went to the funeral of my great uncle James Johnson, my paternal grandmother's older brother. He was one month shy of turning 90. He was recently honored by his church for having been a Baptist deacon for 50 years. He's had cancer for the last several years. He was a good man.

I returned from the funeral to discover that the cancer prognosis of my friend Michael Spencer, the Internet Monk, is grim. Not good at all. Maybe six months. Maybe he's got a year. And this is the year his first book is being released. Finally. This was supposed to be his big year. And now...

Crap.

Michael's wife Denise wrote this yesterday:

Though he will still say with unashamed honesty, "I don’t want it to all be over at age 53!" he has the confidence of knowing that he has run the race God set out for him. He believes he has done the work our Lord intended for him to do, and if the last task God has for him in this life is dying, then he will do that to the best of his ability.

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Whether you're living or dying, whether you're a middle-aged blogger in Kentucky or an elderly deacon in Texas, whether you're enjoying ice cream with your girlfriend or wrestling with your kids, whether you're going to school or heading off to the factory, whether you're working or playing or singing or laughing, do it to the best of your ability.

Do it because you can.

And do it well.

Life is too short to aim low.

FAQs About Freelance Writing

I get questions quite often from aspiring writers and freelancers who want to know about what I do and how I do it and is there any chance in the world they can do it, too?

So I usually email them back with brief answers. But I thought it might be interesting to post some of my answers to those frequently asked questions (and other questions) here on the blog. Maybe you've long been harboring a writing-related question. Maybe I can answer it.

I'm impressed that you're making a living as a freelance writer. I want to do it, too. What's your secret?

My secret is that I don't just make a living as a freelance writer. I get paid for a lot of different things. Here's a top-of-my-head breakdown of my annual income by percentage, based on nothing but flat-out estimates and no real fact-checking:

• Income from books and speaking engagements (20%, though this varies year-to-year)
• Income from writing articles for magazines, etc. (9%)
• Income from corporate copywriting, like newsletters, flyers, TV scripts & advertising (35%)
• Income from graphic design (35%)
• Diamond heists (1%)

So while, technically, the majority of my income is from writing types of services, there's also a big chunk of design income in there. You'll notice how very little of my earnings come from the books and magazine articles -- and I'm not a newbie writer or anything. I could probably write more magazine stuff if I wanted to (I end up turning down quite a few assignments when on deadline for a book manuscript, for the sake of simplicity), but I doubt I could write more books than one every six months or so.

The conclusion? It's very, very difficult to make a living solely as a freelance publication writer. I do that stuff to keep my name out there and maintain a platform, in hopes that someday one of my books will hit big. But I write the client-based stuff so my kids can eat. It pays better, and it pays more regularly. That's my secret.

How do you get the place where magazines will assign you stories?

It's difficult. Here's how it worked for me. First, I got to know a magazine. Read it. Saw what kinds of articles it ran and how they were written. Then, I came up with an idea for an article that would fit within the mag's framework. Then, though the magic of networking, I got myself introduced to an editor there. (This is key: finding someone who already knows the editor and can introduce you, so when you pitch them an idea, it's not coming from someone they've never heard of. Unfortunately, it helped in my case that I had written some books, because that means they're not taking a risk on an unknown writer.)

Then, once you've met the editor, you pitch your article idea, usually via email. Maybe they like it and assign it. You do an awesome job with it, turn in a crisp and publishable article ahead of deadline. They like it and think, He's good. We should work with him more often. And then your name pops up from time to time when they are brainstorming article ideas for new issues. So they ask you to write more stuff.

That's how it works. You have to get their attention and then deliver on what you've promised. You earn their trust. Only then do you get invited back to the dance. It's the initial getting-their-attention part that's hard, because unless you can get an introduction or already have quality work to your name, they hesitate to take a risk on an unknown.

Will you introduce me to a magazine editor?

Maybe. But probably not. The only way I'll introduce you is if I know you are a good writer and a good fit with a particular magazine. I can't risk introducing a shoddy, unproven freelancer. If I do, I am wasting the time and resources of editors with whom I've worked hard to build a good reputation. So I'll only introduce you if I think you're a sure thing.

So based on the income breakdown above, you're not a millionaire from writing books?

Yes, of course I'm a millionaire. What you don't know is that my annual income is $100 million. Around $20 million of it comes from my books.

Silly rabbit. The reality is that, even for someone like me who has written 10 books and had a moderately successful sales record (which pretty much means I sell enough that publishers are willing to continuing taking a chance on me from book to book), it's hard to make a full-time living just by doing this. Unless you're a big-name who has hit the best seller list -- and can coast on those royalties and the notoriety for a few years -- you're probably not going to make a living solely on book royalties. That's why most authors also do a lot of speaking engagements, or are on-staff at magazines, or teach at the college level, or plan and execute diamond heists.

Will you write a review of my new album for Relevant Magazine? You're on-staff there, right?

No. I am not on staff at Relevant, though I do write for them pretty often. They've been republishing a lot of my old stuff among their online articles, so it seems like I'm always writing something for them. But it's a lot less than you think.

Either way, I have only written one music review in my life. It was for Andrew Osenga's album The Morning. Which was awesome. So unless you're Andy, I don't do music reviews.

(You'd be surprised how often I get asked about this. Everyone wants to be in Relevant.)

I saw you on the History Channel the other day talking about the Apocalypse. Will you please read my 10,000-word manifesto about the end of the world in 2012 and my theory that Barack Obama is the Antichrist and the Jonas Brothers are the prophets spoken of in the Book of Revelation?

No, crazy person. I do not want to read your insane scribblings about the end of the world. Perhaps this wasn't clear in the documentary you saw, but I wrote a book making fun of people like you. And anyway, Obama isn't the Antichrist. That's way too obvious. The person you need to be focusing on is someone like Oprah.

Though I admit the Jonas Brothers idea is intriguing, if only because skinny jeans have long been considered a sign of the coming apocalypse.

Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bob Harper from Biggest Loser?

No. That's news to me.

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If you have a writing-related question for me (or any other kind of question), leave it in the comments. Maybe I'll answer in an upcoming FAQ post.

Phyllis Tickle Endorses!

Some people get nervous when their books release to the public and the reviews start pouring in. But the most nervous I get is when advance copies of my books go out to endorsers. Usually, I've hand-picked these first readers because either 1) I know them already and think the book will resonate with them, or 2) Their name carries such weight that I'm just taking a shot in the dark. Because you'll never score if you don't take the shot, right?

So you send your book out to famous people or well-known writers or whomever. In most cases, they are people I look up to. People whom I think are better writers, or more successful, or whatever kinds of self-defeating thoughts pop into my head. So I'm always nervous, because endorsers are people I so want to impress...and, at the same time, endorsers are people who are generally hard to impress. They are busy. Their time is valuable. They're writing their own books or seeking their own endorsers. When my books hit their mailboxes, I'm always worried I'll strike out. That these big-time voices will be unimpressed with my work and decline the endorsement.

Today I feel relieved. Stunned, happy, and relieved. Because the first endorsement for O Me of Little Faith just came in, and I would be plenty satisfied if this was the only one I got.

Because it's from Phyllis Tickle. THE Phyllis Tickle. Legendary former religion editor for Publisher's Weekly. Best-selling author of The Divine Hours and The Great Emergence. One of my favorite spiritual writers.

I sent a copy to her because of Reason #2 above. We weren't acquainted beforehand, though we share a publisher at Jossey-Bass. I asked my editors there for an introduction. I had no idea whether she would agree to look at the book -- or even like the book -- but I was going to take a shot.

Her endorsement arrived today:

"Never before have I known of—much less ever read--a book about Christian doubt that is chocked full of laughter and sanctity, confessional candor and credible confession all at one and the same time. In fact, I did not even know that such a book could be written; but that’s exactly what Jason Boyett has done. O Me of Little Faith is the work of a devout, passionate, and believing doubter, and it has the ring of truth on every single page."

Wow. I'm humbled, excited, and relieved. And relieved, and excited, and humbled.

Whew.

Thank you, Mrs. Tickle. You've made my month.

I Believe...

Yesterday, via my Twitter and Facebook accounts, I asked my friends and followers to complete a phrase any way they liked.

The phrase was "I believe..."

No real reason to do it, other than thinking it would be interesting to see what kinds of responses I'd get. They ran the gamut from the spiritual (belief in God) to the less serious (belief in the power of a cowbell in healing certain fevers) to an unsurprising number of verbatim quotes from songs by Whitney Houston and/or R. Kelly.

Either that, or some people really believe: 1) they can fly and touch the sky, or 2) that children are our future, and we should probably teach them well and let them lead the way.

Anyway, here are the responses, pretty much in the order I received them:

DaronFraley
I believe that our Creator is not the God of just one planet--we are not alone in the universe.

rcichon
I believe you have a lot of time on your hands!

Jeremy_Courtney
I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

sensuouswife
I believe the best is yet to come

shanellelee
I believe in taking the scenic route.

EmandaSays
I believe your Twitter profile photo looks like Bob Harper from Biggest Loser & I keep waiting for u to tell me to run faster.

contemplife
I believe people are the oddest confluence of imago dei and selfish messes

Vikki Stearns Huisman
I believe that nice guys finish last.

RicknKelley 'Waltz' Gebauer
I believe that biracial kids are absolutely gorgeous!

Sella Maples Garlich
I believe the children are our future. (Sorry, can't help but think of Whitney when I hear those words. I think I've been brainwashed by the top 40 radio of my youth.)

bcourt9048
I believe you can do anything you set your mind to, but only God can do the impossible, unthinkable and unchangeable.

tbone323
I believe that nothing about God is as easy to believe as I used to think it was

ZacHolmes
I believe in a thing called love!! Whoowhoo whoo oo oo ooo! Guitar!

dubdynomite
I believe that there is as much or more good in the world as bad. The good is just not as entertaining to talk about.

mattnightingale
I believe I'd get more done if I shut down Tweetdeck more often.

Delonda Baker Dunn
I believe that Jason Boyett is the most talented, creative and unique individual I've ever met!

(Thanks Delonda. Your check is in the mail.)

Ryan Paige
I believe in the Church of Baseball.

Tracy Karroll
I believe God didn't invent the corporate ladder.

Tanya Summar Bates
I believe that God uses us whether we want Him to or not.

Matt Hafer
I believe every man over 14 who wears a jersey in a non-sports competition fashion is a tool.

Cale D. Hawley
I believe in the fever for the flavor of pringles.

kylechowning
I believe I can fly

brandonsneed
I believe good music is good as any drug. Also, so is Mountain Dew.

Matthew Todd Morgan
I believe I could sleep better at night if Morgan Freeman read to me as I was drifting off.

Rob Swick
I believe that I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!

Scott Grow
I believe that spring can't come soon enough!

Robert Fortner
I believe what I believe, is what makes me what I am.

Scott Jesko
I believe in the magic of Santa Claus.

Kristy Compton Kersh
I believe that Jesus is who he says he is.

Emily Diana Sijabat
I believe in love!

Tommy McGregor
I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky!

Akelaa
I believe I'll have a cookie, thanks

Kyle Davis
I believe because I must. My very human nature demands that I place value in things. It is the only impetus for deliberate action by a human being. I cannot choose to act, or not to act, unless value exists, which by nature implies that a metaphysic must exist. Since I can't prove a metaphysic exists, I must believe.

MarshallJonesJr
I believe the problem isn't dependence - it's who (or what) I'm depending on.

smalltownpastor I believe that God is faithful always!

natedogreimer
I believe NPR did a similar called 'This I Believe'" http://bit.ly/quHBv

OnHerToes
I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

michaelcriner
I believe the gospel.

Cheryl Tooley Lashbrook
I believe because unless i want to go backwards in my life i must believe in order to keep moving forward.

Scott Green
I believe that children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way.

Brooks Boyett
I believe in Kingdom Come, then all the colors will bleed into one. And also that Sasquatch do indeed exist.

Ricky Garzon
I believe that monsters are coming to get me when I close my eyes.

MattTCoNP I believe "the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way" is the start of a rather dumb song.

hemantmehta
I believe... there are no gods :)

kara_schwab
I believe I will have another.

Tess Mallory
I believe that all things work together for good through God and His mercies.

Dawn Xiana Moon
I believe that art and culture matter.

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What do you believe? If you didn't respond yesterday, feel free to state your own belief in the comments. Whatever you want, even if it's related to Sasquatch, aliens, or Whitney Houston.

Seussian Questions

Today is the birthday of Theodor Geisel, who was born on March 2, 1904. I was a huge Dr. Seuss fan when I was a kid. His Happy Birthday to You! remains one of my favorite books of all time. Its illustrations bring back a whole bunch of warm, fuzzy memories. It's my Proustian madeleine, if you'll allow me to make such a nerdy English major allusion.

Anyway, I figure today is a good day for some reader feedback and discussion. Thus, three questions for you to answer in the comments:

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1. What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

2. What is your favorite breakfast food?

3. What bad habit are you proudest of having broken?

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My answers kick things off below.

Six Jesus Statues That Creep Me Out

Jesus statues: Like MTV reality shows and limericks about an island south of Cape Cod, rarely are they made in good taste. Occasionally they are just plain disturbing, as in these examples...

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1. Drowning Jesus



This 62-feet high sculpture of Jesus rises out of a reflecting pool near the 3,000-member Solid Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio. It faces I-75, and is supposed to be Jesus with his hands raised in post-Resurrection worship. But the placement at the end of a reflecting pool doesn't exactly say "Glory to God" so much as it says "Help! I'm drowning."

Or, in the fall, "Touchdown!"

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2. Ninja Victim Jesus



Some people might be taken aback by the a bit-darker-than-typically-Jewish olive skin tone of this Jesus, or by the frilly lace undergarment he seems to be wearing beneath his royal purple robes. But me? I'm concerned that, in addition to his crucifixion wounds, his head has clearly been pierced by trident-shaped weaponry. Had there been ninjas at the crucifixion, I could have gotten a lot more of my elementary-school friends to visit Sunday School with me.

No idea where this Jesus statue comes from, but that's OK, because I'm not sure I need to see it in close proximity.

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3. Weirdly Overdressed Baby Jesus




Toward the beginning of the 17th century, a statue of the infant Jesus was given to a group of discalced Carmelites in Prague. The donor was a Spanish princess who'd received it as a wedding gift. The Carmelites set it up at their monastery, and performed special devotions to it twice a day until the monastery was plundered in 1631 by a bunch of Lutheran Protestants during the 30 Years War. The statue was thrown into a pile of trash behind the altar, until seven years later it was joyfully rediscovered. Today you can see it at the Church of Our Lady Victorious in Prague -- along with a number of ornate outfits that have been made for it over the years.

Yes. Outfits. According to the stories, this little baby Jesus statue protected Prague during the 30 Years War. And today, those who pray before this statue of baby Jesus can expect blessings, healings, and spiritual favors. So people love this statue, and make clothing for it.

Of course, baby Jesus would have come from a working-class village, and probably wouldn't have been caught dead in these fancy duds even on the day the Magi arrived. And anyway, there is no way such a wide robe would have fit in the manger. Who puts babies in that kind of twerpy clothing anyway? One leaky diaper and you've ruined a good tapestry.

And according to most parenting magazines -- and basic physics -- you're not supposed to put gigantic crowns on the heads of infants, especially during those first few months when they have weak little necks. Sheesh.

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4. Jesus with Gaping Chest Wound



Look, I'm pretty sympathetic to Catholicism. Have some good friends who are Catholic. Love the Catholic devotional writers like Manning and Nouwen. Really appreciate the Benedictines and am a huge fan of the saints. (The religious ones, though the football team's OK, too.)

But I've never understood the Sacred Heart of Jesus devotional statues and paintings. The hand and feet wounds are disturbing enough. I don't need Jesus calling my attention to his open chest cavity and the apparently still-beating heart located inside it. Even if that heart is beating for me. And even if mystical light is shining forth out of the aorta and even if the whole thing is surrounded by a tiny little crown of thorns. Because, I'm sorry, that's weird.

For what it's worth, the whole Sacred Heart of Jesus devotional theme -- which is supposed to call attention to Christ's love for humanity, and encourages me to show my own love and adoration for him -- seems to have begun with a series of visions experienced by Sister Marguerite Marie Alacoque, a mystic French nun in the 17th century.

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5. Skateboarding Jesus with No Skateboard



For its 50th anniversary, Our Lady Immaculate and St. Philip Neri Catholic church in England wanted a contemporary-looking statue of Jesus to be placed 100 feet up in the air near the top of the church's bell tower. So they commissioned a barefoot Jesus who was wearing jeans and a mostly unbuttoned dress shirt to match his artfully unkempt hair and trimmed beard. And also, apparently, he needed to look like he was riding an invisible skateboard. And also, it was windy.

Why? Because the church “wanted a figure of Christ not in suffering but dynamic and welcoming.” And nothing says Welcome to Our Church like a levitating sk8tr boi Jesus in a hurricane.

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6. Jesus You Should Take a Step Back From



During a spectacular lightning storm in Rio de Janiero in February 2008, the world's largest Jesus statue, Christ the Redeemer at the top of Mt. Corcovado, got struck by lightning. Sure, there's that whole thing about lightning striking the tallest structure in an area, but let's ignore basic meteorology to get to the confusing theological implications of this event. Like: what does God have against giant Jesus statues, and why?

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Question for the crowd: Have you ever seen a Jesus statue you actually liked?