Being Happy: Mind Your Own Business

I posted yesterday about illustrations that made me happy, and I returned Sunday from a fun, relaxing weekend with my extended family in the mountains guess, so I guess I've got happiness and quality of life on the mind.

Which is why I wanted to share with you something from writer and pastor Jared Wilson. It's from a post called "Mind Your Own Business" and comes from his blog, Gospel-Driven Church:

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Philip Melancthon once said to his friend Martin Luther, "Today, Martin, you and I will discuss God's governance of the universe," to which Luther replied, "No, Philip. Today you and I are going fishing, and we'll leave the governance of the universe to God."

I am glad God leaves to us the business of such things as playing with dogs, fishing, skipping rocks, flying kites, watching sunrises, watching sports, swimming in the ocean, drinking beer, making love to our spouses, and making people laugh.

God is good and so is life.

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Some days, we need to do more fishing, watching sunrises, and swimming in the ocean. Especially people I know in the ministry. Contrary to popular belief, the world won't fall apart when we rest.

In related news, I spent about 10 minutes with this elk before sunrise Saturday morning, on a golf course. I was very busy leaving the governance of the universe to God.



Thanks for the reminder, Jared.

What Makes Me Happy: Marc Johns

If you are not aware of the simple watercolor-on-paper art of Marc Johns, consider this my daily public service to you.

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Buy his book, Serious Drawings. It looks like this:

Pocket Guides: The Shack, Part 2

When The Shack was first published in 2007, it didn't have a whole lot going for it. For one thing, it was written by a guy with no platform and no name. William P. Young was a hotel night clerk and office manager in Oregon. For another thing, it was self-published. It boasted a cheap website, plenty of typos, controversial theology, and virtually zero marketing.

It sold a million self-published copies.

It's still huge. It's the kind of success story that drives writers like me crazy.

Why did The Shack succeed? Several reasons, but the primary one is this: it told such a compelling story that people couldn't help but talk about it, recommend it, and buy it for friends. People wouldn't shut up about The Shack. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked, just in regular conversation, whether or not I've read it. Out of the blue. I first heard about it in early 2008 from an old family friend -- the lady who cuts my wife's hair. She'd heard about it from her brother, who'd purchased a case of the books and was giving them away like day-old funnel cakes at the fair.

"Jason, you have to read this book," she told me. "You absolutely have to. It'll change your life."

That was when I was in the middle of Pocket Guide writing and simply couldn't carve out time to read The Shack, despite its apparent life-changing qualities. But every time I've seen this friend since, she's asked me if I've read it. Two years later she's still a Shack advocate. A Shackvocate.

(Confession: I still haven't read it. At this point, I'm holding out just to be contrary. In the same way I still have never watched "It's a Wonderful Life" or an episode of "American Idol.")

Anyway, I tell you all this for the most self-serving of purposes. Advertising and marketing are great. An author's blog and twitter account are fine. Speaking gigs and magazine articles are important. But nothing is more important for a book's success than word-of-mouth. Nothing creates buzz like passionate consumer advocates.

I know there are some who read this blog or my other articles but have never picked up a Pocket Guide. And that's fine. I love you guys anyway. But there are others who really are passionate about the humor or snark or educational value of my Pocket Guide books. If that's you, I am indebted to you already. But even so, I have another request: don't just be a Pocket Guide fan. Become an advocate. Spread the word. Be my personal buzz-builders.

How?

1. Tell your friends about your favorite Pocket Guide book. Blog, tweet, pass it around in the back of your class, read aloud from it on your next road trip.

2. Post a review of one of the books to Amazon. These reviews are super-important for publishers, writers, and book-buyers. If you've read any of my books and enjoyed them, please consider posting a brief review. If you do, let me know and I'll thank you personally and mention you on my blog. (Big thanks to frequent commenter Dromedary Hump for a great review of Pocket Guide to Sainthood.)

3. If you have any old covers of The Shack lying around, take them to your nearest bookstore and wrap them around selected Pocket Guide books. You might need scissors to trim off the excess. Cross your fingers and hope no one will know the difference. Also, what are you doing with all those extra Shack covers anyway? No offense, but that's weird.

4. Buy a case of Pocket Guide books and distribute them to everyone you know, including well-connected hairdressers. This may be asking a lot, I realize. But Pocket Guides make a great gift. And they're cheap, too. Can't afford a box? Buy one book and give it away.

5. Tell people that, in all Pocket Guide books, the Almighty is depicted as a black woman. It worked for The Shack.

6. Tell the producers of Oprah that the Pocket Guide black woman deity is modeled after her.

7. Get a Pocket Guide for yourself. Order my books from Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Look for Pocket Guide books at your local bookstore. If you can't find one, ask the kindly salespeople to order one. Spread the word.

Can my Pocket Guide series be the buzzworthy sequel to The Shack? Um, no. Probably not. But I'm convinced there's an audience for small, entertaining bathroom books about religious topics. And I need your help to make sure that audience is aware they exist.

Advocate away, friends. I appreciate it.

Recommendation: Lord, Save Us from Your Followers

Why is the Gospel of Love dividing America? That's the question documentary filmmaker Dan Merchant asks in a fantastic new movie that releases nationally in select theaters this weekend. It's called Lord, Save Us from Your Followers and, as I've mentioned before, it's an entertaining, funny, and thought-provoking film.

In awarding it the best spiritual documentary of 2008, a BeliefNet judge said this: Christianity, [Merchant] contends, is far more interested in the gospel of being right than the gospel of Jesus Christ. But if Christianity supposed to be built on the foundation of "loving the unlovable," then what does that say about the face of Christianity in America today?

I don't watch a whole lot of movies, so I don't get around to recommending them that often. But I'm a big advocate of looking at our faith from an outsider's perspective, and Merchant hands his mic over to plenty of outsiders to offer their perspective. So if my thumbs-up meant anything at all, I would apply them to Lord, Save Us.

Here are five reasons why:

1. Writer/Director/Star Dan Merchant is funny. Not Christian comedian funny, but genuinely funny. His Bumper-Sticker Man persona is a profound way to get people to talk about religion without getting mean. His Top Ten Sins list parody is spot-on.

2. Merchant is an equal-opportunity offender. He's a Christian, but is not afraid to poke religion in the eye when it comes to its divisive role in the culture wars. Eyes on both sides of every issue get jabbed in this film. But it's a loving kind of jab.

3. Merchant is a great interviewer. He actually has Al Franken (who, among conservative Christians, is practically the vice-antichrist to President Obama) commenting how nice the members of the Christian Coalition are compared to the Democratic Convention. That's genius.

4. He makes fun of the stupid car bumper wars involving Christian fish/Darwin fish/Christian "truth" fish eating Darwin fish. As well he should.

5. He is a friend of the Pocket Guides. Dan graciously offered this endorsement of my series: "The Pocket Guides are more fun than a plague of frogs, more satisfying than manna from heaven and way less expensive than attending seminary. Pocket Guide to the Bible, to Sainthood and the Afterlife achieve the remarkable feat of being absurdly funny, surprisingly full of legitimate Biblical information and, inexplicably, provoking a deeper understanding of my faith. Jason Boyett is a truly inspired and disturbed individual and for that I am grateful."

(I'm grateful, too, and can apply to same adjectives to Dan.)

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So if you're in Atlanta, Houston, Nashville, Portland, Seattle, or San Antonio, get thee to a theater near you and check this film out. If you live in other large urban areas, it's coming your way in a week or two.

If you have a few minutes, this sampler provides a good taste of the film's tone.



The accompanying book, Lord, Save Us from Your Followers is also excellent (and available on Kindle).

The 10 Worst Bible Passages

Ship of Fools is a fun, British religious web-magazine that has been doing great work for at least a decade. Like The Wittenburg Door in the U.S., Ship of Fools is committed to the Christian faith but not afraid to debunk, pop balloons, and otherwise make a nuisance of itself to religious goofery.

In related news, I'm pretty sure I just made up a new word: goofery.

If you're unfamiliar with Ship, check out its ongoing Mystery Worshiper series, in which reporters attend a church service and report on its goings-on. The Mystery Worshiper idea, I'll admit, was the inspiration behind my "6 Denominations in 6 Weeks" article for Relevant in the summer of 2008.

Anyhow, that's just an introduction to the results of a new list compiled by Ship of Fools readers of the 10 worst Bible passages. It was called "Chapter & Worse." The results, in order:

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1: Paul doesn't think women should teach men in church:

I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. (1 Timothy 2:12)

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2: The prophet Samuel orders genocide against a neighbouring people:

This is what the Lord Almighty says... 'Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.' (1 Samuel 15:3)

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3: Moses doesn't like witches:

Do not allow a sorceress to live. (Exodus 22:18)

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4: The ending of Psalm 137, which equates happiness with, um, violence to babies:

Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us – he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks. (Psalm 137:9)

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5: The story from the Book of Judges in which a man tries to appease a mob outside his door by offering up his concubine to them for sexual abuse:

So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. At daybreak the woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight. When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. He said to her, 'Get up; let's go.' But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home. (Judges 19:25-28)

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6: Paul's condemnation of homosexuality:

In the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error. (Romans 1:27)

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7: Jephthah's horrible vow in the book of Judges, which he then actually carries out:

And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, 'If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord's, to be offered up by me as a burnt-offering.' Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah; and there was his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and with dancing. She was his only child; he had no son or daughter except her. When he saw her, he tore his clothes, and said, 'Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.' (Judges 11:30-1, 34-5)

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8: God's command to Abraham to sacrifice his son:

Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt-offering on one of the mountains that I shall show you. (Genesis 22:2)

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9: Paul's encouragement of wifely submission:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

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10: Paul's encouragement of slavely submission, even to cruel masters:

Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel. (1 Peter 2:18)

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Your turn. Are there any passages on this list you disagree with? Any you would add to it? Are you bothered by the entire idea of "worst" Bible passages?

Remembering Rich Mullins

Saturday, September 19, was the 12th anniversary of Rich Mullins' death in 1997. A lot of my younger readers may not have heard of him, but he had profound influence on me as a writer, a musician, and a Christian. I didn't post anything on Saturday, but thought I'd start the week off by re-running a blog post I wrote commemorating the 10th anniversary of his death.

This is from my old blog at Relevant.

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I am not the fanboy type. But the closest I ever came to it was upon discovering Rich Mullins in the early 90s. I'm not generally an emotional kind of guy -- especially the kind of person who really feels it when a stranger passes away -- but I remember exactly where I was when I heard that Rich died. I was at a computer (a PowerMac/Performa 6400), laying out a newsletter using an early version of QuarkXPress. My wife called. Her mom had heard on the local Christian radio station that, overnight, Rich Mullins had flipped his Jeep, been thrown out, and gotten hit by a truck somewhere in rural Illinois. His friend and traveling buddy Mitch McVicker survived the wreck, barely.

"I'm really sorry," my wife said, as if she had just informed me of the death of a good friend.

It was ten years ago today...September 19, 1997.

I realize, of course, that a lot of you readers were, like, 12 years old back in 1997. And so maybe the only thing you know about Rich Mullins is that he was the guy who wrote "Awesome God." And "Awesome God" is one of those worshippy songs that got sung way too much back in the day, and the chorus is trite and the verses are pretty dumb and you're wondering why all these people in their 30s liked the guy who wrote "Awesome God" so much.

The first thing you should know is that Rich Mullins agreed with you. He didn't think "Awesome God" was a very good song either, but somehow it got popular. Youth groups sang it around campfires. T-shirts were made. Inspirational posters appeared. Toward the end of his career, he mentioned on a couple of different occasions that he got really tired of playing that song at concerts. It was, he admitted, one of his worst songs. So don't hold "Awesome God" against him, because Rich Mullins was one of the good ones. Here's why.

1) Rich hated the limelight. His typical concert uniform was jeans (with holes in the knees) and a t-shirt. No shoes. No socks. In fact, he was known for sneaking onto the stage before being introduced, because the glowing introductions always made him uncomfortable. It was not uncommon for the audience to think the guy walking out onto the dark stage and sitting at the piano was some sort of pre-concert piano tuner. Then he'd start playing, and the lights would come on, and everyone would go "Oh, that's him!" and the concert would start.

2) Rich was a genius musician. I had never heard of the hammered dulcimer until I bought the cassette tape of The World As Best As I Remember It (Vol. 1) when it came out in 1991. There was this brilliant sound on some of the songs -- a droning, dancing, rhythmic theme that sounded like a cross between an acoustic guitar and a piano -- and it mesmerized me. I figured out that this must be the "hammered dulcimer" mentioned in the liner notes. Within a few years, I had my own hammered dulcimer and had learned to play it. Never anywhere as good as Rich, but still entranced by the beauty of it. Rich introduced a lot of Christians like me to the depth and simplicity of Appalachian music...and the Irish folk music that inspired it.

3) Rich was a 36-year-old college student when his career really began to take off. From 1991 to 1995, one of the bestselling Christian musicians was enrolled at Friends University in Wichita, Kansas, pursuing a B.A. in Music Education. He played French Horn in the band, for Pete's sake. And he remained there until he graduated and received his teaching degree. Now, imagine Chris Tomlin deciding suddenly to enroll at your local community college so he can study physical therapy -- because he truly wanted to help people by becoming a licensed, practicing physical therapist -- and then actually graduating with a degree...while still writing and recording music. It was kind of like that.

4) Rich was a "new monastic" before we knew what that meant. Before guys like Shane Claiborne came along, Rich was pursuing an uncloistered, semi-Protestant monastic existence. Upon graduating from college, he moved to a Native American reservation in New Mexico, near the Arizona border, where he taught music to kids in the local school. He made hundreds of thousands of dollars through album sales and royalties, but Rich only ever saw a fraction of that money. Early in his career, he set up a team of advisers to handle his finances. They paid him a yearly salary -- as I remember it, it was something in the mid $20,000 range, equivalent to that of a common laborer -- and the rest went to various charities. He didn't know what his music and career were worth, and didn't want to know.

5) Rich was theologically curious, and religiously ecumenical. True story: I grew up in a pretty tight bubble of very conservative Southern Baptist theology and practice. I owe a lot of who I am to that upbringing, but I also recognize that much of who I am comes from the steps I've made outside of that bubble. And I was given the freedom to take those first steps by Rich Mullins. The stuff he wrote and sang about from 1991 to 1995 -- the end of my high school years and beginning of my college years -- set me on a path toward re-understanding a lot of theology. It wasn't until he started talking about this book by a guy named Brennan Manning, a Catholic writer none of my friends had ever heard of, that a little book called The Ragamuffin Gospel became the Blue Like Jazz of the mid 90s. I devoured The Ragamuffin Gospel. I started reading all of Manning's other books. Then I started reading all the authors -- Henri Nouwen and Frederick Buechner and Thomas Merton and Flannery O'Connor and G.K. Chesterton and Bonhoeffer and Moltmann -- that Manning listed in his footnotes. And when a sheltered Southern Baptist boy starts reading Catholics and Anglicans and other suspicious thinkers, the Gospel gets a whole lot bigger. When Rich Mullins described listening to a cassette of Brennan Manning speaking about grace, he told of having to stop his pickup truck, pull to the side of the road, and weep. That hooked me, and it set my feet on a path I'm still on today. (Always rebellious and controversial, Rich was ready to convert to Catholicism -- and had even been attending catechism -- but died before he could actually join the Roman Catholic Church. Terry Mattingly gives some background in this article.)

6) Rich was messy. It was generally suppressed (for our safety, I suppose) while he was alive, but after Rich's death we began to learn that he had a fondness for cigarettes, light beer, and the occasional dirty word. This sort of behavior is, perhaps, more readily accepted among CCM artists in 2007, but back in the mid-90s, we needed to be protected from the less wholesome activities of the guy who wrote "Awesome God." So no one ever talked about it. But there were always rumors, and Rich Mullins was as human as people get. That's always good to know.

Rich Mullins asked hard questions and didn't always offer answers. He rebelled against the establishment. He was a quiet, humble prophet in a culture of screaming TV preachers and Christian musicians wearing glittery jumpsuits. He refused to clean up his act -- or his wardrobe -- for record labels. He wrote songs about the color green, preferring to record offbeat music with densely metaphorical lyrics played by a Ragamuffin Band of unkempt, scruffy, outcast musicians rather than release a polished, radio-friendly pop song. He made lots of money but never saw it. He loved Saint Francis of Assisi and "Adagio for Strings" by Samuel Barber. He grew up Quaker. He drove an old pickup truck and taught himself to play the cello. He talked of grace as often as possible. We were strangers, but I feel like we were companions during a very formative time in my life. I never met him, but he influenced me more than just about any other non-relative I can think of.

Thank you, Rich. You left us too soon. We've missed you. You suck, by the way, for not wearing a seatbelt.

Say "hi" to Francis for us.

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Twelve years. Hasn't seemed that long at all.

Flash Mob-bage

Everyone's talking about (and watching) the Oprah/Black Eyed Peas flash mob event last week in Chicago. Which is pretty cool, if you haven't seen it. (It's not officially a flash mob, though, since the mob is really supposed to show up, do something, and then disperse.) But anyway, lots of fun if you haven't seen it.



And my friend Ken Grant engineered a promotional flash mob a couple of weeks ago in Delaware. It was a freeze-out. At the honk of a horn, the folks in on the gag froze in place for several minutes along a busy street.



But my favorite kind of flash mob is the type perpetrated on a single person. These are hilarious. Here's a clip of a several Japanese mobs doing an excellent job of completely freaking a person out.



Have any of you ever participated in a flash mob? If so, spill the beans.

Feedback on Faith (or the lack thereof)

I'm working on a project and need your help. It's about Christianity, questions/problems related to it, and reasons why some people don't buy into it.

I'm looking for feedback from people who are either a) atheists, agnostic, or otherwise non-believers...or... b) Christians who doubt or struggle with their faith. This is not a question for super-strong purpose-driven pillars of faith.

Here's how you can help. Please leave a comment below and tell me the following:

1. How would you describe yourself? (i.e. atheist, doubting Christian, former believer turned agnostic, spiritual but not necessarily Christian, etc. Whatever's most accurate.)

2a. If you are in the non-believing camp, why do you not accept Christianity? What prevents you from wanting to be a Christian?

2b. If you are a believer, what are the elements of the Christian faith that give you the most trouble? (possible answers: the Bible, Christian history, conflict with science, hypocritical Christians...that sort of thing.)

Please answer those two questions, and feel free to explain as much or as little as you'd like. If you prefer to post anonymously, no problem.

And since we'll hopefully have both believers and non-believers sharing the same space, please keep it civil. Thanks!

Interview and Pocket Guide Giveaway

Wanna win a full set of the new Pocket Guide books? My friend and fellow writer Matthew Paul Turner is giving away two sets of the three books (Pocket Guides to the Bible, the Afterlife, and Sainthood). All you have to do is comment on this post by finishing this sentence:

Jason's NEXT Pocket Guide should be about...

It's worth stopping by for the giveaway, but MPT also offered a fun interview. About half of the questions were from him, and the other half were from his followers on Twitter. So I get to answer a lot of questions about writing, publishing, the creative process, and why writers like me are total egomaniacs.

Other discussion items include details about O Me of Little Faith and this answer to a question about the subjects of my new books:

As for the Afterlife, well, don't we all want to know what awaits us after we die? Almost every culture has some idea about what's beyond this life, and some of those ideas can be outright horrifying and weird. And horrifyingly weird. There's also the question of the Christian ideas of heaven and hell. How much of our beliefs about those come from the Bible? How much come from culture and art and literature? Is that MercyMe song correct when it says I'll dance before Jesus? Because seriously, that would feel really awkward to me. I only know the two-step and the backspin. And ethereal harp music is a horrible accompaniment for either of those. Anyway, our Christian afterlife beliefs have been shaped by a lot of different forces, and only one of those was the Bible. I thought it would be fun to explore that, along with all the fascinating afterlife mythology of other world religions.

Thanks, MPT, for an interesting interview, and for doing the giveaway.

• Jason Boyett writes about Saints, Afterlife, and the Bible

2009 Tri to Make a Difference

Thanks, everyone, for sponsoring and encouraging me with this weekend's Tri to Make a Difference triathlon. I quadrupled my fundraising goal and improved upon last year's time by nearly 10 minutes. Success all around.

First, thank you to my friends and family members who donated to Children's Miracle Network on my behalf. I set my original goal at $300, and a VERY generous starting gift from an old friend launched me way over it. Should have aimed a little higher. There's always next year. Total raised was $1,174.99, which was the fifth-highest total among 250 competitors in the race ($15,225 raised overall). All proceeds went toward the purchase of equipment for the NICU at our local hospital. Great cause. Thanks again.

As for the event itself, we were worried about getting rained out. The meteorologists predicted widespread showers all day Saturday with something like a 70% chance of rain throughout the day. But thankfully the rain waited until later. The weather was cool (low 60s) and a bit windy, with a cold front blowing in from the north. But otherwise it was great.

This is a challenging sprint triathlon and the area's largest. Open-water swim (400 meters), a bike portion (10 miles) that climbs out of a canyon and features a hill that all but the most hard-core bicyclists end up walking, and a 5K run at the end over consistently hilly terrain. Last year, due to some unfortunate bad lake water issues and several minutes lost vomiting up said lake water, my time last year was 1:19:00. I was disappointed, and hoped to improve this year to something around 1:13:00.

I did better than that. The swim went great, other than some calf cramping during the last 100 yards. The bike was even better, even though my calves continued to cramp during the first few miles. No problems on the run, as I got my calves stretched back out before that part began.

My total time was 1:09:27. I improved on last year's times at every part of the race, including transitions. So I was happy. Tired (and my calves are still sore from the cramping) but happy.

My totals:
Swim 7:46 | T1 1:39 | Bike 33:23 | T2 0:35 | Run 26:02 | Total 1:09:27
Full race results here.

Want pics? Of course, you do.

Here I am with my kids minutes before the race began:



Exiting the lake (a bit out of focus, and feeling the same way) after the swim.



Dismounting as I finish up the bike:



Home stretch of the run:



Don't count on my improving by ten minutes again next year. Maybe two or three.

Remember

I had another post in mind today, but decided it can wait until Monday.

The photo above is of injured firefighters being treated after the Twin Towers collapse. It's by Justin Lane, who was working as a photographer for the New York Times on 9/11. This photo won the Pulitzer Prize for Breaking News Photography in 2002.

Incidentally, my family had the pleasure of spending a couple days with Justin and his wife (the writer Lauren Sandler), not long afterward. Lauren was writing a book about young Christians (Righteous: Dispatches from the Evangelical Youth Movement) and interviewed my brother and me for it.

Justin had his own project going: portraits of young Christians across the U.S. and a gallery of "Christian America" (Brooks and I are the "two men" in this photo.)

Anyway, today is a good day to browse through the Times' powerful Pulitzer-winning photos from 9/11, several of which were Justin's.

Where were you eight years ago today?

9 Secret Insights on Nines Day

Today is September 9, 2009, which means it's another nerd holiday: 09/09/09. Depending on your perspective, we won't see another set of repeating dates until October 10, 2010 (10/10/10), and no repeating single-digit dates until January 1, 2101 (01/01/01).

So clearly, this is a day when you need to get your fill of mystical events and vibes of symmetry.

In honor of this special day, I present 9 Secret Insights into My Writing Career:

1. I write in Microsoft Word, 12-point Times New Roman, with a 1.5 paragraph space setting.

2. I always come up with the chapter titles before I write anything else. Sometimes even before I know what will be in the chapters.

3. Before I begin writing, I find out what my publisher expects in terms of word count. I then determine how many words will be in each chapter. Then I make sure I come close to that word count.

4. I never have to pad out a chapter to meet my self-imposed chapter word count. In most cases, I end up remove stuff because I write too much.

5. I have several writing tics that my faithful readers have no doubt noticed. These include asking and answering one-word questions (That? Can be annoying), self-indulgent footnotes, and use an over-reliance on the colon (which is also a problem I have in real life).

6. I use Wikipedia a lot for my initial research. While it's not reliable as a single source, it's often a good introduction to a subject and makes me aware of connections between events, people, and ideas that lead me deeper into "real" research. So pretty much I love Wikipedia and I don't care who knows.

7. I am more nervous when I give a completed manuscript to my wife to read than when I first turn it over to my editor to read.

8. Because I write so often about religion, I can't type the name Chris -- my brother-in-law's name -- without automatically adding the "t" to the end of it: Christ. This instinct may also be on account of me being super-pious.

9. Due to my advertising/copywriting background, I have gotten to write the back-cover copy for almost all of my books. As I understand, not many writers get this opportunity. Not sure if that's good for me or not -- sometimes I wonder whether I'm too close to the subject to take on such a big marketing role. Bonus: I also wrote the back-cover copy for this book. And this one. And this one.

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Anyhow, happy 9s Day.

Triathlon Update: Support Me!

Back in January, I stated that one of my goals for 2009 was to participate in and complete three triathlons. I did one in June and another in July, and now it's time for the last one.

This is the big one of the season for the Amarillo triathlon community. Last year was my first year to do it, and it resulted in a memorable experience for me. This is the 4th year of the event. It was started by a high school friend of my wife's after his son was born with a rare neurological disorder. As I've discussed here, they discovered that their little boy would never be able to walk, ride a bike, care for himself or communicate much. So the dad began participating in triathlons. Why? Because he could. He started running, biking, and swimming because he could do those things and because his son would never be able to.

I love that. As I've written before, it's a simple and inspiring way to celebrate your blessings. It's a way to embrace life and be grateful for what you have. Something as common as the ability to move around is a gift.

So, anyway, I do triathlons, too, for a lot of the same reasons. On Saturday, I'll be participating in the Tri to Make a Difference sprint triathlon, which is a big fundraiser for Children's Miracle Network. All the participants have been asked to help raise money for this cause -- all proceeds are used to purchase equipment for the neonatal and pediatric intensive care units at BSA Hospital in Amarillo, Texas.

I don't ever ask for money here -- unless you count asking you to buy my books as asking for money (in which case: guilty) -- but this year I thought I'd try to raise a few bucks for a great organization.

So what do you think about sponsoring me in this weekend's triathlon? I have a pretty humble goal: to raise $300. I'm thinking we can reach it.

If you'd like to sponsor me in the Tri to Make a Difference triathlon, please click this link and head over to my sponsorship site to make a donation in my name. You can pay via credit card. I appreciate it.

To further inspire you to give -- or possibly to inspire you to click out of my website as soon as possible -- here are photos of me performing the three triathlon activities.

Swim (this is me at the Amarillo Town Club sprint tri a few weeks ago in July):



Bike (at last year's Tri to Make a Difference, with vomit covering my left leg. Also, my apologies for showing a little more skin than I usually do in my blog posts.):



Run (the finish at last years TTMAD):



Thanks for your (potential) donation on my behalf. You guys are great.

Finish This Phrase: I've Never...

Do people read blog posts on Labor Day? I don't. But maybe you do. In that case, today's post is but a simple question for you to answer in the comments.

I'm guessing there are a lot of common, daily things that my readers have never done. I want you to tell me what they are.

So please finish this phrase:

I've never...

Discuss: Trusting the Bible

As many of you know, my next book is not a Pocket Guide, but a more personal book from Zondervan titled O Me of Little Faith: True Confessions of a Spiritual Weakling. It's about my personal struggles with spiritual doubt -- where they come from, what kind of impact the have, and how I'm learning to admit and even embrace them.

There are a lot of things that cause me -- and others -- to doubt, from circumstances and stress to unanswered prayer to the perceived absence of God. In my experience, all of those are legitimate sources of spiritual uncertainty, but they're manageable. I can handle those, because they're all tied to my human perspective, which changes.

But one of the biggest sources of doubt -- and the kind that's hardest to deal with -- is doubt based on the history of Christianity and the trustworthiness of the Bible. These kinds of doubts aren't new for me. I've had them since late high school, when I started reading the Bible more seriously. (And eventually writing a book about the Bible didn't help.)

A few days back, I asked you guys to discuss hell and eternal punishment, and asked how we should answer when people have big, messy afterlife questions. Today I have a new question: What do we do when the Bible seems (worst-case scenario) to contradict itself...or (best-case) is really unclear about an important event? What do we do when the historical accuracy of the Bible is a big question mark?

I'll give you an example. Consider the account of the empty tomb in the four Gospels. This, of course, is a vital event in Christianity, but as many skeptics and scholars have pointed out over the years, the four Gospels each offer different and conflicting details about what happened. Here's what we get:

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Matthew's Version
The women arrive at the tomb and seem to see an angel roll the stone away from the tomb -- while they are there. Then the angel sits on the stone, in an interesting bit of detail. The guards see the angel and become afraid. The angel tells them Jesus has risen.

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen." Matthew 28:1-6

Mark's Version
The women head to the tomb and are worried about rolling the stone away, but it's already been moved when they get there. Inside the tomb, they see a man in white clothes who tells them Jesus has risen.

As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. "Don’t be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here." Mark 16:5-6

Luke's Version
The women discover the stone rolled away from the tomb. Inside, they meet two men in gleaming clothes. These men tell them Jesus has risen.

They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!" Luke 24:2-6

John's Version
The women find the stone rolled away, think Jesus’ body has been stolen, and flee to get Peter and another disciple. Then those two disciples return to the tomb, enter it, and discover that it's empty.

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!" John 20:1-2

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So the testimonies about what the disciples discover at the tomb are all different. In Matthew, the women hear from an angel sitting on the stone. In Mark, the women see a man inside the tomb. In Luke, the women see two men inside the tomb. In John, the women see the tomb and take off, so Peter and the other disciple are the ones who enter the tomb. They don't find angels, but do find evidence that the body is gone.

These aren't just stories with different minor details reported. These are stories that seem in conflict with each other. What impact does this have on your faith? Should it have an impact? How do you deal with it?

The most common "explanation" for discrepancies like this one -- between different biblical accounts of the same event -- is that each one is only giving part of the picture. That each witness or Gospel writer is telling part of the story. So what you have to do is take the full story -- the full biblical account -- and assemble all the accounts together and that's how you get accurate historical detail. (Therefore, in the example above, we conclude that there must have been two men/angels in the tomb, though Mark only mentions one...and at one point, apparently, one of them sat down on the stone, as Matthew reports. And John just didn't find it important enough to mention either of the angels.)

I'll be honest. That explanation doesn't satisfy me completely, because the underlying idea behind it is that neither Gospel is complete or authoritative. What you have to have is the full story by way of some comprehensive "fifth" Gospel we put together ourselves, outside the New Testament, using all the details from the four actual Gospels -- a "Gospel" only available to us centuries later as readers of the four Gospels in tandem. So is it only that fifth Gospel that's inspired and inerrant and authoritative? Is that really how it's supposed to work? Because if so, it completely diminishes the perspective of the original authors, each of whom were writing separate from each other, without knowing they'd eventually be compiled into the New Testament alongside other versions of the story. (This is a point Bart Ehrman discusses in Jesus, Interrupted, which I reviewed here.)

Anyway, enough rambling. The point is that there are some biblical issues that aren't easily explained away. How do you deal with these? Do you let them impact your faith? If so, to what extent?

Ready? Discuss.

The 11 Best Patron Saint Stories

One of my favorite parts of Pocket Guide to Sainthood are the stories behind saints' patronages. Patron saints are saints believed to have a special fondness or protective relationship with a certain geographical location, church, diocese, occupation, health problem, or individual sharing the saint's name. The theological idea is that people's prayers are more effective if delivered to God by a person's patron saint, since that saint already has 1) an abiding interest in the subject matter and 2) being a saint, more spiritual clout than a standard-grade human.

So there are patron saints of just about everything. The stories about how certain saints got connected to certain occupations or types of people? Almost always entertaining. Occasionally surprising. In some instances, well-nigh hilarious.

Here are a few of my favorites from the book.

Airline Pilots
St. Joseph of Cupertino, who was known for miraculous feats of levitation. Almost anything would send him skyward, including singing hymns, praying at mass, or simply hearing the names of Jesus or Mary. Then he’d get all dazed-looking and float heavenward until a superior commanded him to come down. Unfortunately, he was also known for being a few jets short of a fleet.

Babies
St. Zeno of Verona, who was stolen at birth by the devil (!) and secretly replaced with a lookalike demon. Much to her dismay, Zeno’s mom then breastfed the demon for 18 years. That’s right: 18 years. Why? Because the pseudo-Zeno didn’t seem to be growing. Eventually the real Zeno, all grown-up, showed up to rescue his mom — who had to be getting pretty uncomfortable with the whole scenario — and he forced the demon child to vomit up all the consumed milk. There’s a slight possibility this story is only a legend.

Boaters
St. Francis of Paola, a Franciscan hermit who once wanted to cross the Strait of Messina on his way to Sicily, but was denied passage by a surly boatman. So Francis did what any wonder-working saint would do: he spread his cloak out on the water, plopped himself down on it, and motored right across the strait.

Breastfeeding
St. Giles, a hermit who lived with a deer as his only companion. And who, according to legend, was comforted and sustained by the milk of that deer following a terrible injury. Well now. And also: blech.

Charcoal-Burners
St. Alexander the Charcoal-Burner, a 3rd century bishop and martyr who was very handsome but wanted to live a chaste life, so he chose an occupation that left his face continually blemished with black charcoal dust, which was not so appealing to the ladies. (If you are currently asking yourself What is a charcoal-burner? you are not alone. The Pocket Guide has asked that same question, with unsatisfactory results.)

Dairy Workers
St. Brigid, who as a child in Ireland once gave away an entire pail of milk to help a poor person. This worried her, though. She was certain her pagan father would be furious about the missing milk, so she prayed that God would miraculously refill the pail. God was happy to oblige. For this reason, alcoholics have long lobbied to make Brigid the patron of beer.

Geese
St. Martin of Tours, who was about to be named bishop but didn’t think he’d do a very good job of it, so he tried to hide in a flock of geese. But the geese, sensing he was up to no good, honked and honked until Martin was discovered. So now, apparently, he protects them. You are not alone in thinking Geese? Since when does anyone ever require intercession on behalf of geese? You’re also not alone in wondering what kind of idiot tries to hide a flock of birds. This patronage? A big honking mystery.

Hunters
St. Eustace, a former Roman general who converted when he saw a vision of Jesus between the antlers of a stag. His newfound holiness, of course, prevented him from killing the stag. Either that, or the mystical glare from the vision screwed up his aim. Either way, it’s clear that Jesus is interested in the salvation of deer.

Oversleeping
St. Vitus, who was once accused of sorcery and tortured for it by being thrown into boiling oil. He was joined in the scalding oil bath by a rooster, thanks to a belief that sacrificial roosters combated sorcery. The connection to roosters led to a connection with early rising, and the early rising thing earned him a patronage of people who oversleep. Sounds like someone’s trying a little too hard to get a cool patronage.

Serial Killers
St. Caedwalla of Wessex, a Saxon king who kept expanding his influence by killing off other kings and forcibly taking their kingdoms. The historian Bede tells of Caedwalla going through the countryside “by merciless slaughter.” But then he went on a pilgrimage and presumably started to feel bad for all the slaughter. Then he got baptized. Then he died not long after. Which technically makes him the patron saint of remorseful serial killers experiencing deathbed conversions.

Ugly People
St. Drogo, who suffered some weird affliction while on a pilgrimage, which led to a physical deformity that was so bad he frightened all the townsfolk. “Don’t look at me! I’m hideous!” the Pocket Guide imagines him saying. So Drogo walled himself into a cell attached to his church and lived in solitude for the next 40 years, to protect the community from his repulsiveness. Feel better, unattractive people!

[from Pocket Guide to Sainthood: A Field Manual for the Super-Virtuous Life, by Jason Boyett (Jossey-Bass, 2009)]