Big List of Recommendations

You were probably thinking, What are Jason's views on a variety of unrelated subjects? Good news: You've come to the right place. Here are a few of my current recommendations, in no particular order.

Things I Recommend

Scott Orr's new album, Ghost Party, is excellent. If you like singer/songwriter types with a sorta countrified flair -- like Whiskeytown-era Ryan Adams before he got all glam and New Yorkey -- then I recommend Scott Orr to you. Plus: he's Canadian!

I recommend ending a sentence with "Plus: he's Canadian!" at least twice a week. If only to confront your xenophobia head-on.

If you can knit your own socks, I recommend doing so. Just because I've always wanted to be playing, say, a game of Twister, and the person next to me saying, "Dude, nice socks," and replying to him, "Thanks. I knitted them myself."

I recommend the barbacoa burrito at Sharkey's in Amarillo. Sweet salty meats! that is some good stuff.

I recommend "sweet salty meats" of all types, particularly the hickory-smoked variety, unless you have high blood pressure. You should have lean chicken.

I recommend vegetarians ignore the two recommendations above.

This is a good 6-minute video by Matthew Paul Turner, about questioning God. I recommend watching it.

I recommend you wear a shirt, overweight sunburned man at the swimming pool. I also recommend you have that mole checked out by a dermatologist.

I recommend Bryan Allain's blog and Twitter feed, because they are consistently funny. Dude can write a one-liner. Dude also lives among a bunch of Amish folk.

I recommend not beginning too many sentences with "Dude." Unless you are Keanu Reeves and this is your hook.

"Burn Notice" is one of my favorite summer television series. I recommend watching it, and pretending that Michael Weston is the overachieving but morally ambivalent son of MacGyver.

I recommend you not send me a text message, as it costs me $.20. A dime to receive it, and another dime to text you back to tell you to "stp txtng me, jrk." But I'm sorta behind the times when it comes to mobile phones.

I recommend you stop making fun of my phone difficiencies, iPhone snobs.

I recommend pre-ordering my new books, if you want to play an important role in my Pocket Guide World Domination Scheme (patent pending).

I recommend you contribute to this list by making your own recommendations in the comments.

Interview with a Writer (Me)

I just finished up answering some questions for a publication that will be featuring one of my articles this fall. It's one of those "contributor profile" kinds of things where they ask a whole bunch of questions and then pick out some of the quirky stuff in your answers to give you a little context for whatever article you've written.

That kind of thing.

I like to multitask, so it occurred to me that my answers to those questions would make a good blog post. Also, I'm a narcissist. (All bloggers are, to a degree.) And so I just assume you readers want to read my answers to these interview questions, right? Of course you do.

So here they are:

What's the best piece of advice someone has ever given you?

It's actually a bit of design advice (I'm also a professional graphic designer): "White space is always good." The more white space in a design, the more attention is given to the important stuff. That's good design advice, but also good life advice. Margins are good. By making sure I have enough "empty time" in my life, I keep sight of what's important.

Tell our readers three things they don't know about you.

1. I can play the hammered dulcimer (like Rich Mullins...but not as well as Rich Mullins).

2. I am the drummer for the worship team at my church.

3. And the first book I ever wrote was a suspense novel, about a shepherd. (It never got published.)

When did you know you wanted to be come a writer? When and where was your first article published?

I knew I was naturally talented at writing in high school, when I always excelled in any creative writing assignment or essay. I didn't decide I wanted to be a Writer (capital W!) until college. My first published article, I think, was for a Southern Baptist magazine called Student.

Who is the most influential person in your life?

My wife, Aimee. She gets to influence pretty much every decision I make.

Do you have any quirky rituals when you write?

I can't listen to music while I write. It's too distracting. I wish I could be the type of writer who puts in my earbuds and cranks up something cool to listen to while I churn out words, but I'm not.

What inspires you the most?

As a writer? As unromantic as this sounds, as a writer I am inspired by the idea of financial independence and freedom. My goal has long been to be successful enough in this pursuit to do it full-time, while also supporting my family. I'm not there yet.

As a human, I am inspired by the common mercy of helping improve the lives of others. I love charitable organizations that take a creative approach to meeting peoples' needs, whether it's poverty in the U.S. or clean water in Africa. Helping the helpless is so central to the Gospel, it always thrills me to discover a new way to do it.

What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? movies, books, etc? If you could have any job in the world what would it be?

Since it's not yet my full-time occupation, I guess writing is a hobby. I'm also a distance swimmer and sprint triathlete. I like to backpack, camp, and flyfish.

If I could have any job in the world? It would be as a full-time novelist.

What goal do you hope to accomplish in the next five years?

Publish my first novel. Only I have no idea what it will be about, so I had better start thinking...

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As a narcissist, I'm open to answer any other writing-related (or, well, completely random) questions you might have. Ask in the comments. I'll try to answer.

Winner: Name Your Own Toy-Based Movie

Thanks to all of you who entered yesterday's Slate-inspired contest. Lots of great entries and, well, a few ruined childhood memories.

Here are my the honorable mentions, which don't win anything but which I liked anyway and wanted to acknowledge.

• Hungry Hungry Hippos: Fleshfeast
I doubt I'll ever enjoy chomping marbles in this game again. Thanks for THAT, Matt. Horrifying.

• Hula Hoop the Movie: Curse of the Devil's Ring
Funny, evocative title. Sounds scary, but also sounds like a religious movie. So I doubt it would be a very good film for that reason. But anyway, nice title. Good job, T-Bone.

• Tinker Toys: Round Peg, Round Hole, and the Rise of Mephisto
The title is too long, Bryan, and when I first read it I thought you might be headed to Smutville. But I was thrilled that you connected Tinker Toys and "the Rise of Mephisto" in a title. A fun surprise.

• The Teddy Ruxpin Story: A Thug's Life
Another surprising connection. I immediately pictured a cut, shirtless Teddy Ruxpin with a Tupac-style stomach tattoo. Thus destroying my last vestige of childhood innocence. Thank you, Nick.

• MAD LIBS: the MOVIE
This one gets mentioned for its creative tagline:
The (adjective) (noun) (body part) movie of all time! (exclamation)

If this were a fake tagline contest, Dan, you would have won.

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But the winning submission was able to both surprise and entertain while remaining a believable movie title. It's brief (only four words!), explanatory, and funny. That it also evoked a real movie was a bonus. Also it's weird, which earns extra points around these parts.

Congratulations, Chase. You win for:

Chia: An Inconvenient Pet

Nice job. Hit me up with your shipping address and book request and I'll get something shipped out to you.

Thanks everyone for participating. Now you should go submit your entries to Slate.

Name Your Own Toy-Based Summer Movie

Admission: I am stealing this directly from Slate. But do I care? No. Do you care? Probably not. So here goes:

The summer blockbuster film, opening this weekend, is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It is the sequel to the first movie, which itself was based on a line of toys. Which sounds pretty lame, idea-wise, if you ask me. Which is also probably why they cast Megan Fox in it.

But I know you people. You can be a whole lot lamer than that. So here's the contest idea: Come up with your own movie title based on a toy. Tomorrow at noon Central I will pick my favorite entry and you get a free signed book from the Jason Boyett library. ANY Jason Boyett book, except for Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse because I am out of my personal stock of those titles right now. (Sorry.)

You can submit as many times as you want, but each submission must be a separate comment to this post. Because that makes it easier for me to collect them.

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Here are some of my own ideas to help you get started:

• Wooden Blocks: Revenge of the Rogue Splinter

• Strawberry Shortcake: Street Justice, Part 2

• Thundercats: Mumm-Ra Returns

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Ready? Go!

Lookin' Good for Jesus

Some days I enter into my local Christian bookstore/knick-knackery, and--looking over the vast shelves of Purpose-Driven products, Beth Moore Bible studies, Veggie Tales merchandise, Precious Moments figurines, dumb Christian parody t-shirts, inspirational artwork and home decor, and books about the End Times--I think to myself: the Christian subculture just doesn't quite have enough consumer items.

Something is missing, I ponder. Something like...Christian cosmetics!

Which is why, to me, the Christian bookstore always smells a little like despair. It's not the candles. It's the lack of Jesus-based grooming products.

Imagine my delight, then, when I discovered this wonderful line of cosmetics, courtesy of my cousin-in-law Lance and his link to Michael Kelley Ministries' site. Behold! A life-affirming brand of Jesus-glorifying toiletries!

That's right: Lookin' Good for Jesus brand bath and cosmetic items.

I've never seen them on shelves, but apparently these products are sold in various retail outlets by an American makeup company called Blue Q, which seems to specialize in snarky and irreverent stuff. (I haven't heard of any reaction to them in the U.S., though the Jesus cosmetic brand been met with some controversy among local Catholics in Singapore.)

Anyway, encouraging users to "Get Tight with Christ," Lookin' Good for Jesus products include...

Lookin' Good for Jesus Bubble Bath:


(Product description: Take the plunge with a soak in everlasting Citrus and Juniper suds that make you feel like you're walking on water.)

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Lookin' Good for Jesus Sparkle Cream:


(Product description: Now, easier to be redeemed in his eyes with a handy travel size 2 oz. tube!)

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Lookin' Good for Jesus Lip Balm:


(Product description: Returns lips to near virgin quality.)

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Lookin' Good for Jesus Mini Kit:


(Product description: Redeems you in his eyes and takes the edge off sinning.)

The mini-kit contains vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-Lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact. Also a mirrored Jesus statuette.

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I'm sure you can find these products in boutique stores in the U.S., though I haven't exactly been on the lookout for them. If you want, you can certainly order them from the Blue Q website.

Now, for the reaction: I'm sure there are Christians who will find these products offensive. After all, hotsy blondes making come-hither eyes to a handsome Son of God isn't the kind of thing you see in stained-glass church windows, even the ones depicting Mary Magdalene. It's a bit irreverent.

Why? Because it uses Jesus as a blatant, right-out-in-front pitchman. And using Jesus as a brand...why, that's just wrong.

Real Christians know better than to demean the Christ by attaching him to common consumer items. Wait--no. You're bringing up Christian bookstore stuff? Like frames, posters, greeting cards, books, music, stuffed toys, coloring books, jewelry, conferences, artwork, clothing, breath-fresheners? No. Stop that, right this instant. See, that's where you're wrong. Sure, maybe we have attached Christ to those things, too, but there's a difference. WE do it more subtly.

And that makes it OK. Because we know that Jesus sells. Everyone knows that. We just know better than to put a goofy picture of Jesus front-and-center on the product (except on, um, t-shirts). We'd rather hide Jesus in a Bible verse, or a little fish symbol, or by securing placement in a Christian bookstore.

Our Jesus junk is subtle, and we figure God's OK with that, because look at the profit margin!

But when you stoop to overt, ironic uses of Jesus to sell stuff...well, that's offensive. Am I right, people?

Can I get a witness? Amen? Anyone?

Three Things for Monday

I'm pulling together a post for tomorrow that I think you'll enjoy. In the meantime, here are three not-at-all-related things to catch you up on:

1. The Daily Beast: If you keep up with my Twitter feed, you would have learned that, last Friday, I had an article in The Daily Beast, Tina Brown's new(ish) online magazine/news-aggregator. The article is called "The Gospel According to Speidi" and is a look at the faith and shenanigans of professional celebrities Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Do they really love Jesus as much as they say? Will Christians embrace them at all? What do Christians make of Heidi's posing for Playboy? Fun questions. Professional Christian celebrity Stephen Baldwin gets a shout-out, too.

From the article:

But the couple’s awkward public embrace of religion has left some true believers flummoxed. The pro-Christian message that Speidi is espousing becomes garbled when blended with TV’s need for sensation and sleaze. Then again, in an era where the church could use a PR boost, Montag and Pratt are providing Christianity the type of pop-culture credibility that could wrangle new followers. Whether this tradeoff is worth it depends on who you ask.

The Daily Beast is hoping to add more religious content, so hopefully you'll be seeing more of my stuff there in the coming months. If you haven't read the article, click on over. More visitors = more religious content at the Beast = more work for me.

2. First Triathlon of the Year: On Saturday, I participated in the first of three sprint triathlons I'm aiming for this year. Only it didn't end up being an actual triathlon. Due to heavy rain before (and during) the event, the bike portion was canceled. So it was a duathlon. Swim 400 meters, then run a 5K. Not quite as challenging, but the fact that all of us contestants were standing, shivering in our swimsuits, in 60-degree weather and constant rain for 45 minutes prior to the start of the competition...well, you might as well have added a third event: The 45-Minute Shiver. Seriously, it works a lot of muscles. On Sunday, I was much more sore from shivering than from running or swimming.

I wasn't super happy with my swim time -- it took most of the 400 meters to get loosened up -- but my 5K time (23:17) was respectable. At least for me.

Here's photo of me swimming outdoors in the rain, taken by my friend James. Check out my funky mouth. It looks like there's an invisible hook in my bottom lip and I'm about to be reeled in from behind:



3. Pocket Guide to the Bible Review: I don't typically post every blog review of my books here -- seems a little braggy to me (probably because, well, it is) -- but this one was just uploaded today and it captures pretty well the flavor of Pocket Guide to the Bible. It's by Kris Bather, an Australian who blogs at ComicBookJesus. He writes, "Boyett is a guy after my own heart. He speaks to the iPod, broadband, gaming culture with plenty of Gen X and Y references and an approach that’s refreshing without ever resorting to mockery" -- which is pretty much exactly what I try to do with the Pocket Guide series.

So I love the review. Thanks, Kris.

Random Phrases from the Pocket Guides (2)

A couple of weeks ago, I asked: What if I picked a random chapter from one of my upcoming Pocket Guide books, and then listed random phrases from that chapter, completely out of context?

That was fun. At least for me. So let's do it again.

These are from the 4th chapter of Pocket Guide to the Afterlife. It's called called "Geography of the Beyond: Where You Might Go," and it introduces possible post-death destinations from a variety of religious traditions. It also contains some very weird phrases. Unnervingly weird. Who can I blame for this? Probably Ahmadinejad. Or the Knights Templar.

So here are a few of my favorite random phrases, lifted entirely out of context. To find out what they mean or what they're referring to...well, you'll have to read the book. Pre-order yours now at Amazon.

22 Random Phrases from Pocket Guide to the Afterlife (Chapter 4):

Who will feed my cats?

pursued by a demon with hippo legs

Megatron or Kevin

no intersexual mingling

the shriveled hag could take you

sawed in half

the torso of a grizzly bear

it sucks being poor and dead

poisonous slobber

naked black-skinned queen of darkness

Good job, Islam

nookie-having strength of a hundred men

popular luau game

crying pooping screaming babies

little nightmare munchkins

your transformation into a worm

corpse-sucking dragon

Yama's four-eyed devil dogs

a really loooong, uncomfortable episode of “Biggest Loser”

adulterers, blasphemers, and reality show applicants

breast-shaped fruit, and all the not-yet-weaned children

get sloppy drunk on mead

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Well, now. I can't imagine what kinds of Google searches will end up finding their way to this post thanks to those phrases. I imagine whoever shows up in a search for "naked black-skinned queen of darkness" content will be profoundly disappointed.

In advance: I'm sorry, creepy Googler.

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Contest! The first person to guess, accurately, which eternal destination I'm discussing when I use the phrase "Megatron or Kevin" gets a free signed copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible. Leave your guess in the comments. When/if anyone gets it right, I'll post the full sentence.

Magic + Drama + Irony + Europe

My brother Brooks is a full-time inner-city minister, but he also has a side gig: magic. As in illusions and prestidigitation and card tricks and all that fun stuff. The kids he works with really get into it, but he's a pretty impressive performer among adults, too.

So I thought I'd share a video of one of his recent performances in front of a church group. Here, he takes all the simple tricks he does for children and performs them in an overly dramatic montage, David Copperfield-style, complete with pulse-pounding musical accompaniment. That's right: "The Final Countdown," by Europe. It's street magic plus on-stage irony.

The lighting, video, and audio aren't the best quality, but they'll give you the idea. Enjoy.



And if you want to book Brooks for a gig at your church, school, or living room, he's available. With musical accompaniment. Get in touch with him here, or hit me up and I can connect you.

Worst Christian-Single Model Ever

It's probably no surprise to you that I show ads on my blog. This is because I am a greedy, greedy money-changer who couldn't live without the $4.35 I make each month from Google AdSense. It's also because I'm part of the Guideposts Blog Network and showing ads is part of our agreement.

What IS a surprise is one of the ads that showed up the other day in the sidebar when I pulled up the blog to check the layout of a recent post.

Here it is, courtesy of AdSense:



Recognize that hot Christian single? Yep, it's Kris Allen, the newest winner of American Idol. He's a real-life worship leader (at least, he used to be) and a professing Christian. So that fits with the ad. What he's NOT is single. At all. On account of how he's famously the first married person to win. He's been married since last September.

I'm no relationship expert, but I'm pretty sure this disqualifies him from being the face of a "Find Christian Singles" ad.

How did I know it was Kris Allen? Because I have an eagle eye. Also because, um, I found the exact same photo somewhere else:



Please forgive me, single Christian ladies, for getting your hopes up. Can't put a ring on this one.

Winner! Five-Sentence Romantic Story Contest

Yesterday we had another fun five-sentence story contest. This one was a bit different from the last one. No scary stories this time, but romance. No weird "Jimmy" rules, either. Instead, I added requirements that entries use the name "Ruby" and incorporate a lyric from a Postal Service song.

There were 11 comments with last month's scary story contest, but only 7 comments for this one (one was a double-post). So I can only assume that you'd rather write creepy stuff than gooey romance.

I hear you.

Nevertheless, there were some excellent, evocative entries, though I'm guessing the song-lyric requirement held you back a little. But the story submitted by the winner was very, very good. In fact, I knew it would win as soon as it posted. An easy choice.

Good job, Suz. You win! What else should we expect, though, from a 6-foot redhead?

Here's the photo again along with Suz's winning story:



"The high concentration of estrogen in this group is really starting to get to me," Ruby texted to her fiancé once dexterity returned to her frigid fingers. Curled up in a leather armchair by the lodge’s fireplace, Ruby succumbed to the hormones that had been keeping her on edge for days and indulged in a good cry. When the sobs subsided, she took a few deep breaths and thought about how much she missed Derrick and how she wished her agent had never booked her in this stupid Pepto Bismol commercial a week before their wedding in Maui.

But then, as she wiped the tears from her cheeks and noticed the rivulets running down her torso, the absurdity of the whole situation struck home and she just had to laugh. "Here I am," she mused to herself, "thousands of miles away from Derrick, crying my eyes out, and the only thing keeping me dry is this crazy pink unitard."

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Very nice. Love the dialogue in form of texting and "musing," the creative explanation for the goofy photo, the long (yet still legal) sentences, and the perfectly subtle use of the song lyrics (highlighted in red).

Congrats, Suz! Shoot me an email with your shipping address and I'll send you a book.

Next time, we'll go back to the scary story format. Be afraid.

Five-Sentence Romantic Story Contest

It's been a month, so that means it's time for another contest. For the last contest, I submitted a weird photo and asked you to construct a five-sentence scary story based on it. This time I have located a similarly strange photo, from this Flickr site. I don't know the photographer or anything about the photo...I just discovered it by searching for "weird" on Flickr.

Here's the photo:



Your job for this contest? Compose a five-sentence romantic story (or story snippet) inspired by whatever is happening above. Like last time, it has to adhere to five particular rules:

Rule #1: It doesn't have to have anything to do with the actual real-life subject of the photo.

Rule #2: It has to reference verbatim any phrase from "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight," by The Postal Service, which was playing when I started this blog post. (If you need to slightly alter the wording to fit the story, that is allowable.)

Rule #3: It also has to use the name "Ruby." Just because.

Rule #4: Your story must contain five sentences. No more. No less.

Rule #5: Your story must be about love, relationships, or otherwise romantic in tone. But not vulgar or overtly sexual.

The winner gets a free signed copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible. (If you win and already have a copy, then we'll figure something else out.)

The contest lasts until 9 am central time tomorrow, at which point I'll choose my favorite five-sentence story. To get things started, my sample submission is below.

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He didn't know why. Maybe it was the simplicity of her sleek and colorful appearance. Maybe it was her name, Ruby--so old-fashioned yet so at odds with her choice in casual wear--or maybe it was how she seemed so out of context in that gaudy apartment complex. Regardless, he knew his love for her ran deeper than the Alaskan snow. So when he tracked her down in the frozen wasteland north of Anchorage, he was elated at (probably) having found her...yet intimidated by the task of identifying her among the rest of her bobsledding-for-cancer-awareness team.

Apocalypse Alert: Orbital Chaos

One of the public services I try to provide for my readers are timely warnings of potential apocalypse. So it is with a heavy heart that I announced the following:

There is a distinct possibility that, in 3.5 billion years, the Earth may collide with Mars. Or Venus. The results of either scenario would be catastrophic. Not just for Earth, but for the supermodel colonies and dolphin farms we'll have cultivated on Mars.

Jacques Laskar, a researcher at the Observatoire de Paris, lead a study in which astronomers calculated the movement of the planets thousands of years in advance, taking into consideration the usual orbit of each celestial body and Einstein's theory of relativity.

Out of 2,501 potential scenarios, there were 25 that resulted in a "severely disrupted solar system."

According to Laskar, "There is one scenario in which Mars passes very close to Earth," 794 kilometres (493 miles) to be exact. "When you come that close, it is almost the same as a collision because the planets get torn apart."

What would a planet getting torn apart look like? Helpfully, Laskar's team has provided an illustration of that event, which they term "extreme orbital chaos." This is what a collision between Earth and Venus might look like:

I know! Awesome, right?

It pretty much only looks bad for the Middle East, Asia, and the rest of the Pacific rim. We'd have to watch out for island-size chunks of Venus debris and boiling seas and, you know, the rain of planetary magma from the sky. But anyway, we'll have escaped the planet by then and will be able to watch the collision from the safety of our personal space pods with our robot companions, and it looks like it will be hauntingly beautiful.

So plan accordingly.

Review: Jesus, Interrupted

You might recall that, back in April, I teased a review of Bart Ehrman's new book, Jesus, Interrupted. As an author of a book about the Bible and an armchair student of theology and biblical studies, I'm pretty fascinated by Ehrman's work -- as well as his personal story. (He entered college and then seminary from a fundamentalist Christian background, interested in studying the Bible in its original languages. By the time he earned his doctorate, he'd become an agnostic.)

So I've read the book. Actually, I read the book very quickly, and have been postponing a review of it for awhile because I wasn't sure what to write. A single-post review won't really do the subject justice -- especially as much as Jesus, Interrupted relates to my own writing career (and faith) -- so I'm going to spread it out a bit.

To begin, I thought it would be fun to explore the book using my friend Bryan Allain's quirky, efficient, and totally subjective "Cannarf Rating System." That's right: Cannarf. What's a Cannarf? Read this to find out. In short, it's a means of reviewing almost anything based on your expectations going in. Was the book better or worse than you expected?

So...here we go.

Author: Bart Ehrman

Book Name: Jesus, Interrupted: Revealing the Hidden Contradictions in the Bible (and Why We Don't Know About Them)

I'm Glad It Wasn't Called: Jesus, Interrupted: A Book Intended to Destroy Your Christianity (Bwa-ha-ha-ha-HA)

Book Synopsis in Twitteresque 140 Characters or Less: The New Testament has some serious reliability problems, which you probably aren't aware of since they're rarely discussed in church.

Where I Bought It: I didn't. A review copy was provided to me free by the publisher, HarperOne. Which I'm always tempted to pronounce "Harperone," as if it rhymes with chaperone or megaphone.

Paid for With: My mortal soul. (Or not.)

How Long It Took Me to Read: About a week. I don't have time to just sit for hours and read -- I have to make time for it -- but I kept returning happily to the work. Because, being a big nerd, I enjoy reading Bible scholarship. No, really, I do. That's one reason I wrote Pocket Guide to the Bible: to bring Bible scholarship to the masses. With jokes. And it should be said that this book can be described as "Bible scholarship," but it's not a heavy, hard-to-read book. It's a popularization of scholarship, when means you can read it without having to know, in advance, words like eschatology or dispensationalism or Nag Hammadi.

Who I WOULD NOT Recommend This Book to: That's a really interesting question, and one that deserves more than a paragraph of explanation. Here's the deal: If your Christian faith is wrapped up in the inerrancy of the Bible -- the belief that every word of scripture is inspired by God and contains no errors -- this book will either make you 1) confused; 2) dismayed; or 3) angry. Ehrman goes to great lengths to explain how he doesn't see Jesus, Interrupted as an attack on Christian faith. And I agree, to an extent. It is, however, an attack on the kind of Christianity that requires an inerrant Bible and cannot allow any human fingerprints on the Old and New Testaments. Other than a few opinions he carefully qualifies, Ehrman isn't presenting any new or unusual scholarship. He's simply outlining some of the contradictions and discrepancies (from dating of events to diverging views about Jesus by the biblical authors) that are apparent in the Bible. If these human elements are new to you, then yes, you'll struggle with this book.

So I'm not sure whether to recommend it or not. I believe all Christians need to be better informed about the Bible. That's why I wrote my own book about it (and which discussed a few of these contradictions). After all, truth is truth, and if your faith can't withstand some honest questioning, then what kind of faith is it anyway? But I know a lot of Christians whose faith might not survive becoming aware of the "humanity" of Scripture. If you grew up in the kind of biblical fundamentalism that says, of the Bible, "God wrote it, I believe it, that settles it," then you probably won't enjoy Jesus, Interrupted. At all. It'll complicate things, but personally I'd rather have a complicated faith than a simple but uninformed one.

Who I WOULD Recommend This Book to: Pastors, ministers, students of theology, anyone wanting a better understanding of the scriptures and ideas from which Christianity developed (...with all the hesitations rambled about above).

What I Used for a Bookmark: An outdated business card from my days in the advertising world.

What Were Some Interesting Stories from the Book? There were tons, though I wouldn't call them stories. More like examples. I'm pretty familiar with most of the biblical discrepancies in the New Testament -- again, scholars have been noting them for some time -- although Ehrman pointed out a few new ones. In the Gospel story of the healing of Jairus' daughter, the account in Mark 5:21-43 has Jesus learning the girl is sick and dying. Jairus asks Jesus to heal her. But Jesus is interrupted on the way to visiting her, and eventually hears from Jairus' servants that it's too late. The girl has died. (He goes to see her anyway and raises her from the dead.) In the same story as told in Matthew 9:18-26, Jairus comes to Jesus and tells him, "My daughter has just died." He asks Jesus to bring her back to life. So which is it? Is she dying when he approaches Jesus? Or is she already dead?

What Is the One Thing I Will Take from the Book? Because I've done a lot of reading about the Bible already, there weren't too many "surprises" in Ehrman's book. Most of this stuff -- as he points out many, many times (almost too much) -- is widely known and widely accepted. What strikes me the most was Ehrman's contention that it wasn't his knowledge of these biblical problems that led him to abandon his Christian faith, but rather his inability to get past the problem of evil. But that's another book entirely. (It's called God's Problem: How the Bible Fails to Answer Our Most Important Question -- Why We Suffer. I haven't read it.)

What I Learned from This Book That I Will Apply to My Next Book: It confirms my hatred of end notes. Ehrman cites a lot of scholarly sources and adds comments via endnotes, but you have to turn to the back of the book to read them. Big pet peeve of mine. I personally love to use footnotes in my writing, but only if you can read the note without having to turn to the back of the book. True footnotes are best used on the bottom of the page in which they appear. If I have to interrupt the reading of the chapter so I can turn to the back of the book, look up the chapter and note, and then read it before going back to the original page, then I am officially annoyed. My books all have true footnotes, and always will if I have my way.

Expectations Going In: Again, I wasn't surprised by the information, but I was surprised by a couple of things. First, Ehrman's writing is very accessible. His wordcraft isn't elegant by any means, but he's good at distilling the information in a way the average pew-sitter can read and understand. Secondly, I was surprised at his tone. Based on some responses to his books, I almost expected him to be the kind of raging, angry atheist who is intent only on dragging you out of your faith and into their own non-belief system. (I guess I was expecting a Christopher Hitchens-type diatribe?) But this doesn't seem the case at all with Ehrman. He seems very concerned with making sure the reader realizes he's not trying to attack faith or deter his readers from Christianity -- even though he has personally left the faith. This concern seems genuine, and almost pastoral. Like he's torn between his desire to educate people about the Bible and his concern that their whole belief system not end up torn to shreds.

Cannarf Rating: So I was fascinated by the subject matter, enjoyed his approach as a writer, and appreciated a tone that was more gracious than I expected. And it's thought-provoking, too, which is good. +2 cannarfs.

Have any of you read this book? (Or another Ehrman book?) If so, how do you rate it?

Jesus Christ: Destroyer of Worlds

One of the things I discovered in the process of writing Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse was that Jehovah's Witness leaders have predicted the end of the world approximately eight bazillion times. And have been proven wrong each time when, you know, the world didn't end.

One time, after investing a whole lot of resources to predict the return of Christ in 1914 -- but after which nothing really happened -- they explained the non-event by saying that Jesus had, in fact, returned. Only he did so invisibly. Which is why no one noticed, right?

I explain this only because it helps in introducing this brilliant cartoon. Apparently its purpose is to scare Christians away from those crazy Jehovah's Witnesses by implying not only that they aren't too good at prophecy, but that they believe in a Jesus who:

1. Is the archangel Michael in another form.

2. Is way ripped. (Check out the crucifixion sequence.)

3. Can fly, Superman-style but without a cape.

4. Flings comet-like fireballs at earth, horrifying citizens and destroying major metropolitan areas in a flaming apocalypse.

Awesome. (Unless it's true.)




[H/T: Matthew Paul Turner]

Publisher's Weekly Review

The June 8, 2009, issue of Publisher's Weekly features a review of Pocket Guide to the Afterlife...and (holding my breath) it's a good review!

Here it is:

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Pocket Guide to the Afterlife: Heaven, Hell and Other Ultimate Destinations
Jason Boyett. Jossey-Bass, $12.95 paper (165p) ISBN 978-0-470-37311-8

Who says death can't be funny? Boyett, the author of two other Pocket Guides (to Sainthood and to the Bible), has a gift for irreverent, humorous prose that is also quite informative. This guide is a hodge-podge mix of factoids, kitsch and jokes about what various religions teach regarding what happens after we die. The author covers a wide swath of material, from Mayan and Aztec religions to the invention of the defibrillator and its connection to increased near-death experiences. Boyett also takes a walk through the Bible to highlight what it states about heaven and hell and who is likely to end up in each. The Lettermanesque “Afterlists” are quite amusing—such as “18 symbols of death throughout the ages” and “11 highly attractive synonyms for heaven.” The author should be commended for the user-friendly layout and for laboring to explicate non-Western religious traditions to a largely Western audience. Here's hoping this pocket guide series does not die off anytime soon. (Aug.)

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It's always good news when the first published review is a positive one, especially when it's from Publisher's Weekly. I join the venerable publication in hoping "this pocket guide series does not die off anytime soon."

Random Phrases from the Pocket Guides (1)

It's June, which means only two months-ish before the next three books in my Pocket Guide series release. I've been wondering how to continue to tease them to keep you interested until that date, and had an idea. What if I took a random chapter from one of the books, and then listed a bunch of random phrases which occur in that chapter?

I'm fairly biased, but I think it would be fun.

So just now I combed through the first chapter of Pocket Guide to the Afterlife. This chapter is called "The Cosmic Lexicon: A Glossary of the Hereafter," and it contains some seriously weird phrases. I was kinda surprised. I had forgotten about some of this stuff. (Then again, I wrote most of it more than a year ago.)

Here are a few of my favorite random phrases, lifted entirely out of context. To find out what they mean or what they're referring to...well, you'll have to read the book. Pre-order yours now at Amazon.

22 Random Phrases from Pocket Guide to the Afterlife (Chapter 1):

a throne of human carcasses

become familiar with the “gnashing of teeth”

ghoulish Gene Simmons-like death masks

incinerating the soft parts of a dead body

shape-shifting cannibalistic rakshasas

hunting lodges filled with stuffed-and-mounted elk heads

“Eternal Flame,” a tormenting mid-80s song by the Bangles

famously incorrupt body of Saint Catherine of Bologna

even good karma results in, like, the worst vacation ever

having molten lead poured down your throat

72 beautiful, virginal, sexual companions

nothing more than brain-generated hallucinations

shine a flashlight in his face and start yelling “The light! The light!”

inside a circle made of strips of squirrel flesh

Craig shanked his Frisbee throw

already booked on the smoky train

no matter how good you are at the Zarrow Shuffle

devoured by large jungle cats

cat-like reflexes, passion for tuna

incinerated Kevin with a blast of sulfuric breath

let me introduce you to my lovely female companion, Death

die around any wicked Voodoo sorcerers

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I think I'll do this again. There are a lot more chapters to draw from...

Winners: As We Forgive

Good news! After offering yesterday to give away a copy of the book As We Forgive: Stories of Reconciliation from Rwanda, I got an email from my friends at Zondervan, the book's publisher (and the publisher of my upcoming book about doubt). They offered a few more giveaway copies, so the good news is that now instead of one free copy, I have four to give away. Four winners.

I wrote the names of all the commenters on little pieces of paper, then wadded up the papers and dropped the whole bunch into the orange cap of a can of Elmer's spray adhesive. (Yes, spray adhesive. Because it was convenient.) Five of the papers landed in the cap. Four of the papers fell outside the cap. Those four outsiders get a free copy of the book from Zondervan.

(Admittedly, this is an unconventional way of choosing names at random, but I don't care. No one was around to draw names from a hat. Also, I couldn't find a hat.)

Anyway, the following commenters won:

1. Aaron
2. Raynee'
3. Destiny
4. David Peck

If you guys will email me your mailing addresses, I'll send them on to Zondervan and you'll get your book.

However, there's a catch. In the words of my friends at the big Z, I need to make you book recipients "earn" your gift. So once you receive a copy of the book, you have an obligation: to spread the word. Blog about the book, tweet it, review it on Amazon, share it with your small group, whatever. As a writer, I'd suggest starting with an Amazon review and then going from there. Amazon reviews are like gold for authors.

Cool?

Thanks to Zondervan for ponying up the extra books, and thanks to Catherine Claire Larson (at right) for such a thought-provoking book.

• Read a sample chapter of As We Forgive.
• Read more about As We Forgive.
• Listen to Catherine's interview on Steve Brown's radio show.

As We Forgive

You may have seen the award-winning documentary "As We Forgive" featured on PBS this month. It's a heartbreaking but hopeful look at the aftermath of the 1994 Rwandan genocide -- where a million people were slaughtered in 100 days -- especially as experienced by two Rwandan women, Rosaria and Chantale. The film follows these two women as they come face-to-face with the men who destroyed their families with unthinkable violence -- and then make the choice to forgive them when the men (and thousands of other perpetrators) are released back into Rwanda.

From the film: "If they tell you that a murderer has been released into the neighborhood, how would you feel? And this time we weren't releasing one. We were releasing forty thousand."



My fellow freelance writer Catherine Clair Larson has written As We Forgive: Stories of Reconciliation from Rwanda, a book inspired by this film, and it explores the same stories from the film in greater depth. It provides not just a deeper understanding of the genocide, but an examination of the power of forgiveness in other situations, simply by observing how genocide victims have somehow found the strength to forgive. It's such a compelling and necessary read. Difficult subject matter, yes, but incredibly thought-provoking.

I've written on forgiveness before for a magazine assignment. I interviewed a Mennonite mother whose child was abducted and killed. I interviewed a pastor's kid whose family was totally hung out to dry by a church congregation (destroying the family in the process). Different situations, of course, but linked together by their common belief among the victims that the best way to deal with heartache and tragedy was to let it go. To offer forgiveness. To reconcile.

I can't say I fully understand that kind of extreme forgiveness or even want to understand it, but I'm pretty sure I agree. Faced with tragedy or heartache, you can choose to carry the burden of anger around with you forever. Or you can forgive. It doesn't take away the pain or grief. But it does help you excape the corrosive burden of anger, bitterness, and revenge. Grief can be turned into strength, but bitterness is almost always detrimental.

Anyway, that's your helpful thought of the day. I can't recommend Larson's book enough. In fact, I have an extra copy of it (I'm keeping one for myself) and will give this copy away. To become eligible for it, simply leave a comment on this post. At 9 am central time tomorrow, I'll choose at random from all the commenters. The winner gets a free copy.

Read more about Catherine Claire Larson.
Learn more about As We Forgive.
Listen to Catherine being interviewed on Steve Brown's radio show.

College Students and Church Attendance

Take a group of 100 young adults, under the age of 30. Put them in a room, and ask them how they feel about Church. The Church. Church with a capital-C. Here's what you'll learn:

• 46 of these young adults are generally annoyed by Christians. (I can relate.)

• 67 of these young adults think Church is filled with hypocrites. (They're right. All humans -- and therefore all Christians -- are pretty much hypocrites.)

• 77 of these young adults think Christianity is more about organized religion than a life lived loving God and loving people. (Again, I'm not sure I'd argue much with that.)

• 90 of them would argue that they can have a satisfying relationship with God outside of regular church attendance. (Wait: I'm not as on-board with this one.)

What all this means is that a lot of college students and 20somethings are making the decision to either leave or avoid the church -- even if they remain Christians, and even if they grew up attending church. Dan Kimball's book They Like Jesus But Not the Church explored this phenomenon a couple years ago, and a new book called Lost and Found, by Ed Stetzer, Richie Stanley, and Jason Hayes takes another look at it (the stats above come from Lost and Found).

Why bring this up? Because I'm writing an article about the topic for a magazine for college students, and I want to tell some stories. I need to talk to current and recent college students who read the stats above and think, "That's me." If you are in college (or are a recent graduate) and you have purposefully disconnected from the Church, I want to talk to you -- especially if you still maintain a connection to Christianity.

I know this fits some of you regular readers. Tell your story in the comments, or shoot me an email.

And even if you're not a college student, I'd love to hear your story. Leave a comment and let's discuss.

Why I Love June

Today is June 1. That's big news, I know, but I was thinking this morning how much I've come to love the summertime and thought I'd make a list. Because I like lists, and so does this blog.

Five Reasons I Love June

1. School's out. This means several things. As a parent of two school-age kids, my seasons have begun to revolve around their schedules, so the end of school is a big event for us. This means the kids will be able to a) stay up later at night, and b) sleep later in the morning. This has a noticeable impact on me personally, because it means more playtime at night with my kids after work is finished -- bike-riding, trampoline-jumping, baseball-playing -- but it also means...

2. Different exercise schedule. Normally I work out at night after the kids go to bed, which means running or heading to the gym in the dark (winter) or around sunset (fall/spring). But with the kids sleeping later and going to bed later, my time to work out is given to the mornings. Which means running in the cool morning air, around the time of sunrise. I really, really like this. I probably have more energy to exercise at night due to having eaten meals and stuff during the day, but there's something more enjoyable about starting the day with exercise. Before this post begins to sound like you're reading a runner's magazine blog, here's another schedule-related change...

3. Different writing schedule. Last year I cranked out book manuscripts in the spring and fall, but timed everything so I wouldn't be working on a book during the summer. I've done the same thing this year, finishing up the edits to O Me of Little Faith just in time for the summer to begin. As I only do my book writing when the kids are asleep, this usually means putting in a couple hours of daily work in the morning (before they get up) and evening (after they go to sleep) -- usually both times, actually -- so being free from these huge chunks of time and the mental fatigue associated with them is really nice. A good way to relax, though I'll certainly be working to try to have another book to begin in September.

4. Different work schedule. I accomplished this last year and I'm going to do my best to continue it for 2009: Friday's off from work. Because I'm now my own boss, I'm giving myself as many Fridays off as I can, to the extent that my clients will allow it. A summer-long string of three-day weekends is indeed awesome. Also, at lunch-time in the summers, I often join my family at the local swimming pool. How would you rather spend a lunch hour? Swimming with the kids? Or sitting at home eating a sandwich? Me, too.

5. June is a soothing word. Say it: "June." See? It's much more relaxing than those harsh Germanic-sounding months like "October" or "March."

Anyway, that's why I like June. What about you?