Fail

Are you familiar with FailBlog.org? If not, you should be. Go there now, look around, enjoy yourself, then come back here.

On my way to work a couple days ago, I ended up behind this vehicle at a stoplight. My first thought was "Fail!" So I took a grainy photo with my handy camera phone.



Happy Saturday.

The Stuff Christians Like Apocalypse

To those of you who are now arriving here thanks to my apocalyptic guest post today on Stuff Christians Like, welcome. Pull up a vintage yellow 1960s chair and look around.

Before you look around, though, please tell me who you are.

You might also be interested in these posts, which are some of my favorites:
• iPhone Apps I'd Like to See
• Dogs + Airbrushing = Awesome
• A Rant: Noah's Ark and Scary Bibles
• A Rant: Christian Parody Shirts
• Nine Thousand Fifty-Three
• Watch Me Decode the Past!

And you might also want to read "The Prodigal Fun," an article I wrote for the December issue of Collide. It features a mini-profile of Jon and SCL.

If you're a regular reader of this blog and you're bored already, then you can head over to Stuff Christians Like and read my guest post on why Christians get so happy about the potential demise of civilization, and how that happiness tends to express itself.

That's all. Thanks, Mr. Acuff.

Books I Have Written, Plus Commentary

I can't believe I've never posted about this before. I'm a writer, for Grisham's sake. I write books! Shouldn't there be a blog post where I give an overview of all those books?

Yes, there should. Preferably in the form of a list.

Should it be post #271 in the history of this blog? Apparently so. Silly, silly stupid Jason.

Books I Have Written (In Order of Appearance)

1. Cheap Ways to... (2003) This was my first real book. Not long after I began writing for Relevant Magazine (still in its 850 Words-only and dot-com phase), Editor Cara asked me to consider joining a few other writers to co-author a fun little book on how to do things cheaply. As I recall, we each were asked to come up with ideas of things to do. Then we compiled our ideas, separated them into categories, and chose from that list. Each author wrote about 7 chapters or so. The co-authors were Josh Hatcher (with whom I've pretty much lost touch except for Facebook), Katie Meier (who became and remains a good friend during the process), and Margaret Feinberg (yes, that Margaret Feinberg).

2. Things You Should Know by Now (2003): My first book with just my name on it! In the process of writing Cheap Ways to..., Relevant asked me if I had any other book ideas. Yes! I said. Then they asked me what those ideas might be. Fifteen minutes later, I'd come up with a list of five or so. They liked this one: an advice manual for people in their twenties. About all kinds of random stuff. This was not long after Alexandra Robbins' and Abby Wilner's Quarterlife Crisis came out, and at the time there wasn't much in bookstores talking about that transition period between college and adulthood. TYSKBN did. It had chapters about not getting into credit card debt, using proper grammar, making smoothies, and cooking eggs. And lots of other things. Very random. And definitely a first book. Not a career-maker by any means.

3. Spiritual Journeys: How Faith Has Influenced 12 Musical Icons (2003): Another collaborative effort. Along with several other Relevant writers, I was assigned a couple of chapters (plus the Introduction) in this book exploring spirituality as it related to some current music-world heavies, including Bono, T-Bone Burnett, Johnny Cash, and Lauren Hill. My assignment? Moby and Sean Combs. That's right: Puff Daddy (as he was known back then, prior to the P. Diddy/Diddy phase). Ten years ago, had you asked me if I would ever contribute a book chapter about the religious leanings of a big-time rapper/producer, I would have responded "That's right I will!" and given you a fist-bump. Because: obviously.

4. A Guy's Guide to Life: How to Become a Man in 208 Pages or Less (2004): When Katie Meier published A Girl's Guide to Life in early 2004, I pitched Transit/W Publishing on a companion book directed at teenage guys. On the strength (?) of my experience as an advice-giver for TYSKBN, I got the job, and this book resulted. It was a fun book, because I was able to write very casually (it's for teens) and very frankly about s-e-x (again, it's for teens). This book has been my most consistent seller, year-to-year.

5. Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse (2005): This is the book where I began to discover my wheelhouse -- the place where religion, history, and snark come together for an awkward tango of educational fun. It was actually one of my original five book ideas for Relevant (see #2 above), and we decided to do it while the Left Behind series was still a publishing behemoth. The overall success of the book probably wasn't due to either the popular subject matter or the writing, but to two other things: 1) Jerry Jenkins, of Left Behind co-authorship, graciously gave me a killer endorsement ("This guy is gonna be SO left behind."), and 2) Wal-Mart decided to stock it in their stores nationwide. God bless the Wal-Mart book buyer. To date, my biggest seller, and the initial reason I ended up on some TV shows.

6. Pocket Guide to Adulthood (2005): Because Apocalypse was suddenly popular, Relevant wanted to put out another Pocket Guide book as soon as possible, hoping to ride those coattails and have an answer when Wal-Mart said "What other Pocket Guide books do you have?". So we repackaged TYSKBN and turned it into this book. Over three weeks' time in the spring of 2005, I condensed several Things chapters, removed a few, and added several more. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled about wrapping this book in the Pocket Guide brand. Even back then I envisioned it becoming a religious/historical series, and I thought this advice-y approach would confuse the brand. Relevant and I argued about it, but eventually I gave in. Because it was a chance to find new readers of TYSKBN, and to be honest, a chance to make a little more money. How often do writers like me get a chance for a reboot? Rarely, I guess, but in retrospect, probably not the best decision.

7. The Relevant Nation (2006): Another collaborative effort. This was a compilation of profiles of people under the age of 40 (activists, artists, celebrities) who were doing cool faith-related things. I was one of at least a dozen other contributors, so I rarely count this as "one of my books." But anyway, it makes the list. I profiled Aaron Walling of Healing Waters International, Scott Hancock of the Glue Network, and someone else I can't remember. (I don't have the book with me right now. Sheesh, my memory must be failing.) Special tidbit: I came up with the title for this book.

8. Postmodern Bible Stories (2006): This was a really cool Relevant book of tear-out postcards. Each one was a graphic-design interpretation of a specific Bible story by an up-and-coming artist. I wrote all the text for this book, but my contribution somehow went uncredited in the publication process. I was very disappointed about this, because 1) I worked hard on the text and had to read and summarize a whole lot of Bible stories for it; and 2) It was pretty cool, stylized stuff and I'm proud of it. But I'm trying not to be bitter, because I got paid for it and it was fun. Outside the Relevant staff at the time, I'm pretty sure no one knows my contribution to this book. Until now, I guess.

9. Pocket Guide to the Bible (2006): In my mind, the first real follow-up to Apocalypse and the Pocket Guide brand. I've talked a lot about this one so I won't bore you with much description, except to say this wasn't my first choice for the 2nd Pocket Guide book in the series I envisioned. I wanted to do Pocket Guide to Sainthood, but Relevant thought that title/subject would be "too Catholic." I disagreed. Regardless, I now own the rights to PGTTB and am selling it out of my trunk (see sidebar) until it's republished this summer by Jossey-Bass...along with two more brand-new Pocket Guides, one of which is, yes, "too Catholic."

Coming in 2009:
• Pocket Guide to the Bible (reissue by Jossey-Bass)
• Pocket Guide to Sainthood (Jossey-Bass)
• Pocket Guide to the Afterlife (Jossey-Bass)
• O Me of Little Faith (A book about my personal struggles with doubt and spiritual uncertainty and how they inform -- and even strengthen -- my faith. To be published this fall by Zondervan.)

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And that, friends, is the brief history of my publishing career. It looks like I haven't been doing much since 2006, book-wise. That's not exactly true, because I started writing the Sainthood book in 2007. We just wanted to release all the Pocket Guides at once, to kick-start the series.

Which of my books have you read? Will anyone admit to having read all of them? If so, I will give you the entirely lame distinction of being my Biggest Fan Ever and give you a special prize. Unless there are, like, 30 of you. I don't have that many prizes. But we could start a club.

Did You Know? (Vol. 1)

Introducing a new occasional series here. It's called "Did You Know?" It's a brain-dump of things I know which you may not know. My dream is for it to be educational, fun, and entertaining all at the same time. My dream is also to be able to start a sentence with "My dream is..." and not start rolling my eyes and laughing at myself before I even get to the end of the sentence. Unless you're an iconic civil rights leader, it's hard to take a person seriously when they start talking about their "dream." I always expect something about rainbows and unicorns to follow.

Anyway.

Did You Know?

• According to the King James Version of Leviticus 11:29-30, these things are unclean to you: weasels, mice, tortoises, ferrets, chameleons, lizards, snails, and moles.

• According to the New International Version of Leviticus 11:29-30, these things are unclean to you: weasels, rats, any kind of great lizard, geckos, monitor lizards, wall lizards, skinks, and chameleons. I think it's clear that the NIV translators had some sort of crazy lizard-phobia.

• An Englishman named John Wroe unsuccessfully predicted the end of the world in 1863. He also fancied himself something of a Messianic figure. He made two attempts (also unsuccessful) to walk on water, and once invited the public to no less than his own circumcision. Right. Ew. Even better? He was a hunchback.

• A duck's quack does not echo. The reason for this remains a mystery to scientists.

• Speaking of ducks...In 1809, a fortuneteller named Mary Bateman in Yorkshire, England, started advertising the fact that she owned a magic chicken. The bird's superpower included the ability to lay prophetic eggs -- the chicken would grunt, squawk, and pop out eggs with prophetic writing on them. One of them seemed to indicate that the return of Jesus Christ was imminent. Mary spills the news, and suddenly the entire community shows up at her doorstep to get a gander at the Chicken of Doom. Unfortunately, someone peeks into the henhouse before Mary and the chicken are ready, and sees Mary furtively stuffing an egg up the chicken's, um, egg-laying orifice. The apocalyptic poultry show is forced to close.

• That last one had nothing to do with ducks at all. Sorry about that.

• Butterflies taste with their feet. Ducks taste with their mouth and tongues, just like you and me.

• Almonds and pistachios are the only nuts mentioned in the Bible. Unless you count guys like Ezekiel and Jeremiah.

• Human beings are physically unable to touch their lips to their elbow.

• You just tried to kiss your elbow.

• In the 14th century, Saint Catherine of Siena had a famous vision in which Jesus placed his amputated foreskin on her finger as a wedding ring. And apparently this was considered a good dream.

• Elephants' feet are entirely flat on the bottom. This comes from jumping out of trees.

• Not really. That last one was entirely untrue. Sorry.

• You probably can't think of an English word that rhymes with "month."

• That's because there isn't one.

• You can type the word "stewardess" using only your left hand on the keyboard. And the word "typewriter" is the longest word you can type using only a single row on a keyboard.

• I happen to be wearing black jeans, black socks, black shoes, and a black shirt today. But I am not depressed. I am not Steve Jobs either. I am, however, a mime. And I am freaking tired of being trapped in this glass box.

• This list of random facts is now over. Have a nice day.

Live Simply (But Buy My Stuff)

I was gently mocked yesterday on Twitter for pushing a bunch of products yesterday -- some of which are sorta pricey -- during a recession. Of course, they're products that have made my life better and brought me a little joy, so I don't really feel the need to apologize for yesterday's post. But I do see the impropriety of the timing.

(Fake Band Shirts would really complement almost everything else you wear. They are specially designed to enhance musculature and improve skin tone. NOTE: The Fake Band Shirts store is currently changing to a new distributor and is not currently online. Soon, though.)

That said, I'm also a big advocate on trying to live beneath your means. Living simply. Not buying stuff just because you can, or because it makes you feel good, or because you want to be like someone else. That's why I'm a proud member of the Junky Car Club. As of this year, my wife and I drive vehicles are at least 10 years old and paid for (1997 Honda Civic Hatchback, 109K miles; 1999 Honda CR-V, 79K miles). It's not always convenient -- there are times we would like a larger, newer car -- but I think simplicity is a virtue more of us should pursue.

(If you haven't purchased your own signed copy of Pocket Guide to the Bible for $6.99, I seriously don't know what you're waiting for. It will make your life better. I promise. Click the buttons in the sidebar to buy yours today!)

Brad Abare, the founder of Church Marketing Sucks and the Center for Church Communication, is a marketing guy I respect, and he's begun seeing an increase in stuff coming from the mainstream press about simplicity.

In Newsweek, Johnnie L. Roberts writes about "luxury shame," describing how rich people have become less willing to flaunt their crazy-wealthy lifestyle, and how the luxury goods market is suffering as a result.

In Adweek, Noreen O'Leary sees this recession as a "global realignment" in which our generation's hectic rate of consumption and product acquisition will be forced to slow down.

(Have I mentioned that I'm a painter? I paint really big paintings that would look awesome on your wall. It might be more expensive than buying a big framed print at Kirkland's, but your painting would be custom and original and a real conversation-starter. It would also make you happy. Can you really put a price on happiness? I think you can. Then you can hang that happiness above your couch.)

And in the LA Times, Reed Johnson writes about the "scarcity culture," about how every season of consumption and prosperity in U.S. history seems to be followed by a season of hardship. Guess what just ended? Guess where we are now?

I'm a writer and an artist and a marketing professional, which means I'm a purveyor of goods and services people don't always need. My work is rarely considered a necessity -- you can't eat a Pocket Guide book, though a few thousand of them might make a nice bonfire -- which means my commitment to simple living and modestly non-consumeristic bent is at odds with my skills and career goals. I live in a weird kind of tension between passion and promotion, between belief and doubt, between a rock and a hard place.

Anyhow, don't cry for me, Argentina. I'm dealing with it.

What about you? Are you having to make some deliberate, simplicity-focused choices during this current economic downturn?

If not, can I interest you in some t-shirts?

9 Products I Love

I've been thinking recently about consumerism and simplicity and the economy and my spending habits (as have, probably, a whole lot of people). I'm not much of a brand-conscious kind of guy -- if anything, my loyalty is more often to price than to label. But there are a few specific products that I really like. And just because I think it might bring up some interesting discussion -- and because I like lists -- I thought I'd list them for you.

Nine Products I Really, Really Like:

1. Clip-on iPod Shuffle: I have the first generation of the Shuffle with the clip. Love it. You can't find a better player for jogging, bike riding, or whatever. Confession: I rarely listen to music on it. Mostly my playlist is a selection of podcasts. Lots of NPR. I'm a nerd.

2. Starbucks Sumatra Extra Bold coffee blend (bought at Target, brewed at home): Oh, rich, earthy Sumatra. I can't quit you. I don't really want to quit you, either.

3. Nikon D40: Nikon's entry-level digital SLR camera, usually combined with a Speedlight SB-400 and the 55-200 VR lens. Perfect for family pics and just about anything else I need.

4. Worm Factory 5-Tray Worm Bin: Read about my foray into worm composting here. We're having fun feeding our table scraps to our worms. You know what they really love? Day-old Sumatra Extra Bold coffee grounds.

5. Nike Free 5.0 running shoes: Scientifically speaking, barefoot runners have always had stronger feet. Nike came up with some weird waffley bottom-of-the-shoe technology that simulates running barefoot. So these running/cross-training shoes are extra light and, due to the design, are lots easier on the knees. I did all the roadwork for last year's triathlons wearing these. And I can tell a difference in the way my back and knees feel when I wear these as opposed to other shoes.

6. GoLite Jam ultralight backpack: Backpacking light is the way to go, and this pack is perfect for a three-day weekend trip. My backpacking buddies roll their eyes at me when I wear it, but they're jealous because they're carrying twice as much weight as I am. Suckers.

7. Heated Mattress Pad: Honestly, I don't know what brand this is and I'm too lazy to pull the sheets back to look. But my cold-natured wife will tell you this is the best thing I ever bought for her, and it turns out I really like it, too. Getting into a warm, preheated bed is a luxury, I know. But man, is it good.

8. Old Navy Canvas Slip-On Shoes: I have a brown pair and a black pair, both bought on clearance for less than $10 each. I wear these almost every day. It has made me insufferably lazy because I now see the act of tying shoes as an inconvenience.

9. ClubSwim Compression Jammer swim trunks: Just like Speedo compression swimsuits, but cheaper. When I first started swimming, I wore floppy board shorts like you'd wear to the pool in the summer. After several weeks of this -- as I began to get more serious -- I ordered these tight-but-not-too-revealing compression shorts for "real swimmers." When I first dove in and began swimming in these babies? I was grinning underwater. Way less drag than the old board shorts. I felt like a seal. Yes, I am a nerd.

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So those are nine of the products I love. What about you? What specific products can you not live without?

(Full disclosure: Rather than linking these products to the websites of their respective makers, you'll notice I've linked most of these to Amazon, using links created through their Associates program. Which means if you really get inspired about, say, a mattress heater, then you can head to Amazon from here and buy the product...and I'll get a tiny commission. Yes, I am a shameless product shill. But I only thought of the shillage after writing this post. For real. I'm one savvy businessman, I tell you.)

An Abundance of Caution

Last night, new U.S. President Barack Obama retook the oath of office after he and Chief Justice Roberts botched it at the inauguration. Their reason for doing so? According to a written statement from White House Counsel Greg Craig, it was simply the result of "an abundance of caution."

Which apparently is new-administration code for "so the crazy Obama-haters don't have any reason to start protesting that I'm not really the president." Everyone knows that Obama became president Tuesday with or without the oath, and that the oath was administered effectively despite the garbled beginning. But they wanted to be safe.

Anyway, I love the "abundance of caution" reasoning.

In fact, I'm thinking "abundance of caution" will become a nationwide meme. Need to repeat something for no good reason? Now you have an excuse! For your edification and instruction, here are some practical uses of the phrase, divided into helpful categories.

Relationships:

Out of an abundance of caution, I've asked the minister to lead us once more in our wedding vows, just to make sure we're really married. As you know, baby, that means this week is our honeymoon.

Entertainment:

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm going to need to watch last night's episode of Lost again, honey. I may have missed something important.

Diet:

Out of an abundance of caution, I'd better eat another cookie. It's too early to tell, but the first one may not end up being as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm going to need another cup of double-chocolate mocha, in case the caffeine content wasn't high-octane enough.

Childraising:

Out of an abundance of caution, Junior, I want you to get back in bed and go to sleep. It's Saturday morning, after all, and who knows if you got enough rest last night?

Career:

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm going to ask my boss to hire me again. If that results in an accidentally doubled salary, I will not complain.

Religion:

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm inviting Jesus into my heart a second time. Better safe than sorry, especially when eternal damnation is concerned. (Evangelical)

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm getting baptized a second time. Better safe than sorry, especially when eternal damnation is concerned. (Liturgical)

Out of an abundance of caution, I'm attending mass a second time. Better safe than sorry, especially when eternal damnation is concerned. (Catholic)

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Your turn. What other experiences or decisions could be improved with an abundance of caution?

Collide Promotion and Other Thoughts

A couple of days ago I linked to an article I wrote for Collide Magazine, an excellent and growing publication about the collision of religion and media. I think Collide is doing a lot of things right. It's well-designed, it's thoughtful, it's aiming at a solid demographic, and -- this is important to me but probably seems selfish to some -- it treats its writers very well.

To put succinctly, I like Collide a lot and am impressed with the magazine. That's why I'm happy to announce that they've just introduced a new promotion involving Pocket Guide to the Bible. For a limited time, if you subscribe now, you'll receive a free, signed copy of my last book. A one-year print subscription is $14.95, which is a very reasonable price considering you'll get six issues of the magazine and an fun, entertaining book (if I do say so myself...and I do) signed with scrawling penmanship by yours truly. Also you'll get to read occasional stuff I write for the magazine.

So that's my pitch. If you haven't bought my book yet from me, get it from Collide with your paid subscription. Here's where you can sign up.

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Now, for other some thoughts:

1. Battlestar Galactica returned last weekend for its final half-season. Do any of you nerds watch it? Because I do. I wear the BSG Nerd label proudly.

2. Lost returns tonight. With BSG and yesterday's Inauguration and now Lost, this week is like a perfect storm for pop culture nerds. What do you expect this season? Any clues?

3. Have you heard about Australia's "Best Job In the World" promotion? It involves, apparently, lots of hanging out at the beach and blogging. And a real, live salary to do so. Anyone planning to apply? I seriously thought about it, and definitely would have were I single. Not so sure it would work with a family, though. If you haven't yet applied, get after it. Applications close in a month.

That's it for today. Happy Wednesday.

Tweeting the Inauguration

I didn't plan to, but I ended up live-tweeting the inauguration. Thought I'd post the feed here because I didn't really plan anything else for today, blog-wise. Anything I have to say would be no different from most other people -- historic, inspiring, etc.

So instead you get this:

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It's a nice sigh of relief to finish a book. But I bet the president's last hours in office are exponentially better. Bush: feelin' good.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 8:54 AM

The youngest daughter is my Ellie's age. Can't help comparing... those girls' lives are certainly about to change.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 10:27 AM

NPR commentators on Michelle's outfit: Mustard...Buttery...Chartreuse. How about, um, yellow?
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 10:33 AM

Don't they know not to cheer during the prayer?
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 10:50 AM

A giant bow is attempting to eat Aretha's head! Where's the secret service?
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 10:54 AM

online video failing. listening on NPR.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:07 AM

Sigh. Applause while wearing gloves is just not as effective as bare skin clapping.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:18 AM

"bitter swill"? That's a weird phrase.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:21 AM

What? No shoutout to that hero pilot dude? I thought for sure he'd become the new Joe the Plumber.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:27 AM

Had to be hard for W, sitting there while his administration was ripped apart, eloquently but forcefully.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:27 AM

Oh, good. The poetry. I hope it rhymes. I'd give anything for a Dr. Seuss-like inauguration poem.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:28 AM

I salute you, new President Obama / in this beautiful Washington diorama / You're President now / It's a tough job, and how!
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:29 AM

boom box...lettuce...marital...grievance...those aren't very poetic words.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:32 AM

Wow. What a voice Lowery has. And THIS prayer rhymes a little. More of him praying. Less poetry next time.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:34 AM

His two minutes is up, but I don't mind.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:37 AM

yella = be "mella" / "red man" = "get ahead, man" Seriously? Whoa.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:38 AM

I'm glad Warren didn't try to pull off the yella/red man stuff in his prayer. That would have been awkward.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:40 AM

How long until the crazy Obama-haters start saying he's not officially President b/c they messed up the swearing-in part?
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:44 AM

@shaunking Totally agree with you. Both prayers were good, both were needed, both were symbolic.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:45 AM

It would have been cool if Obama's aids found some guy with a picnic basket and asked the new Pres to bless it and feed the crowd.
Tue, Jan 20, 2009 11:46 AM

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Inauguration over. Enjoy the day.

Collide: The Prodigal Fun

Back in September, I mentioned spending a week doing interviews with various funny people for a Collide Magazine article.

Wait a second. "Funny people" is a weird way to describe a person. It makes me think of clowns and floppy shoes and red noses. Only I don't really think clowns are funny. I don't think they're scary, either. In fact, I'm ambivalent about clowns. Which means most clowns aren't doing their jobs very well.

Also, "funny people" makes me think of the kind of person who is funny but not in a ha-ha/laughter kind of way but in the kind of way that makes you want to get away from them as soon as possible, because they're carrying a live weasel in their purse or they keep blinking so rapidly you wonder if maybe they're trying to keep an eyeball from popping out or something.

Anyway, I just spent way too much time cartwheeling down a rabbit trail in an attempt to introduce this blog post. So...I didn't interview "funny people." Or clowns. I DID interview people who, in one way or another, use their talents to make people laugh.

These people included Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like, the author Matthew Paul Turner, Joel Kilpatrick of LarkNews.com, filmmaker Dan Merchant of the documentary "Lord, Save Us from Your Followers," and Lenny Sisselman, who produces the Apostles of Comedy tour.

The piece is called "The Prodigal Fun" and it's a look at the often conflicting worlds of comedy and church. I think you'll like it. Within the first three paragraphs, it uses the word "yowsa," makes fun of Carman, and name-drops Mitch Hedberg. Those three things make it worth reading right there.

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Happy Martin Luther King, Jr., Day / Inauguration Eve. Back in 2007, Church Marketing Sucks founder Brad Abare made a thought-provoking point about this day: that, for most churches, MLK Day should be a big celebration-type holiday, second only to Easter and Christmas. Why? Because the social justice aspect of it is so close to the heart of the Gospel. But in my experience, most churches don't think twice about it. I even know a few Christians who complain about it and don't think it's worthy of being a federal holiday. But as Brad wrote, "This day is not just about racial equality. This day is about justice. And this world is full of people who need it."

Something to think about today...

New Publicity Photos

Speaking of uncomfortable-looking photography -- which I was doing yesterday -- I recently posed awkwardly for some publicity photos. My good friend Kyle Trafton of Trafton Photography (whom I've known since he was, like, five years old) did a photo shoot with me for a local magazine profile. He then took a few extras for me to use as publicity stuff for the upcoming books and whatnot.

Kyle's a great photographer, and has shot portraits of a lot of funky indie bands. I'm probably the least funky of his subjects, and I can absolutely NOT smile on cue without looking like a) I just did something really awful and am trying to hide it; or b) there is squirrel running up my pants leg; or c) I am borderline insane and within seconds of taking off all my clothes and running outside to roll in the leaves.

But Kyle ended up with some cool shots, which I appreciate. (In most of them I'm wearing a Buy Shoes Save Lives t-shirt, because it's a cool shirt. I'm not sure if those shirts are still available anywhere -- maybe Jeremy Courtney can confirm. And if you must know, the jeans are from Target and the shoes are from Kohl's.)

And the background? Kyle found an old textbook somewhere, ripped the pages out, and attached each one to a big plywood backdrop. Awesome.

Touching Strangers

I'm not much of a people person, which is why I've chosen to pursue a career in writing instead of, say, a career in clowning or massage therapy or cosmetology. I'll "speak" to anyone via email or Twitter or IM, but if I don't know you, I'm probably hesitant to talk to you in real life. And I certainly don't want to touch you.

So I'm an online extrovert and a real-world introvert, with intimacy issues. (And a passion for modern dance, but that's neither here nor there.)

Anyway, I'm fascinated by Richard Renaldi's new collection of photographs. The series is called "Touching Strangers," and to shoot it, he looked for at least two people in public places and asked them -- who preferably were from different races or economic backgrounds -- to pose for a photograph. He didn't know these people. The people didn't know each other. Also? He asked them to touch each other so that they'd appear, in the photo, to be an intimate couple, or family members.

The photos are fascinating. I've looked at several of them by way of Renaldi's website -- after learning the conceit behind them -- and the intimacy of the photos does seem a little "off." In most cases, the people appear stiff and uncomfortable, and rightly so. "I wanted the images to explore how notions of trust, love, social conventions, and taboos are expressed through body language," he said in this interview at the Conscientious blog.

I would have been pretty stiff and uncomfortable, too. In fact, I feel that way almost every time I get photographed, whether I've got my hand on the knee of some total stranger or not.

But what a great idea for a photo series. And what a brilliant negotiator Renaldi must be to talk people into this:

Hello, clean-cut man in khakis. You don't know me and I don't know you, but I would like to photograph you against this interesting green urban background. Also? I'd like you to put your arm around my new friend, Carlos. Yeah, he's the scowling kid wearing the baggy pants and wife-beater. No, I don't really know him either, but he seems cool. He's been shopping, apparently. OK. Move a little closer. A little closer. Seriously, act like you know each other. Smile, Alex. Carlos, keep that glare going. Perfect. Ready, guys?

1...2...3...(click).

Check out larger versions of the "Touching Strangers" photo collection here.

[H/T: Coolhunting]

13 Possibly Surprising Things I Have Never Done

It occurred to me last night, with the much-hyped premiere of another season of "American Idol," that I still have never watched a full episode of it. I've seen a couple of clips, of course, and I caught part of an episode last year when that white-guy-with-dreads was singing. But that's it. I fancy myself somewhat knowledgeable about pop culture, but I have not ever watched the biggest television show in pop culture.

And you know what? I'm not about to remedy that. I feel a perverse pride in never having watched "American Idol." Why give in to my ignorance and break what is, at this point, a pretty impressive streak (even if I do say so myself)?

Besides that, there are some other things I have never done. They might surprise you. So I'll list them:

1. I have never watched an episode of "American Idol."

(Yes, I mentioned that already. But I thought it should appear in the list anyway.)

2. I have never seen It's a Wonderful Life, with Jimmy Stewart.

3. Speaking of classic Christmas movies, I've never seen Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, or Christmas Vacation either.

4. I have never been to a sushi bar. I like almost all kinds of seafood, but have never really developed a taste for sushi.

5. I have never watched an episode of "Big Brother" or "The Hills" or "The Sopranos," to pick three unrelated but popular television shows.

6. I have never been scuba diving.

(But I love water and have snorkeled numerous times).

7. I have never broken a bone.

8. I have never traveled outside the western hemisphere.

9. I have never been hunting, even though I live in West Texas.

(OK. That's a lie. I went hunting for wild turkey with my dad once when I was 12. In about six hours of walking, we saw two. I shot at one. Missed, and was glad. Have never been hunting since.)

10. I have never been snowboarding.

11. I have never been to Boston in the fall.

(That's a Christian pop-culture shoutout. Can you identify it?)

12. I have never lusted after an iPhone or used my cell phone to browse anything online.

(Distance is good. I don't want to carry my computer around with me.)

13. I have never owned an album by Metallica, Guns 'n Roses, Michael Jackson, or any hip-hop artist recorded later than 1993.

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That's my list. At least part of it.

What have you never done?

The Shameless Art Post

Self-debasement time. One of my resolutions for 2009 was to finish four paintings this year. I haven't talked much on the blog about my painting hobby, but I'm thinking maybe now is a good time to do so. Why? Because most of the painting I do is for friends and family and for our own home. Only I don't really have any more space for paintings at the house. If I produce four more paintings this year, where will they go?

How about they go to your house? Or your office, church, kids' room, or basement?

That's why I'm using today's post to introduce you, shamelessly, to some of the original art I do and let you know that, well, I'm available if you want a big piece of custom original hand-painted artwork.

I won't pretend I'm any sort of fine, fancy artist. Most of what I do is simple and contemporary and graphic-designy, as opposed to realism or classic painting. I tend to prefer big canvases and plywood and sheetrock, though I do some stuff on canvas, too. Mostly acrylic paint.

As far as subjects go, I will paint just about anything you want me to paint, in any size, as long as it fits within my typical techniques and style. To give you an idea of what that style might entail, here are some samples of my work.

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This family portrait has been pretty popular among people who visit our home. It's as close as I'll come to doing a picture of a person and is similar to the graphic-design prints Shep Fairey has made popular. All I'd need to produce something like this is decent head-shot photography of the people. Each "head" is a square foot. Painted on plywood. Colors can vary.



I also like to do abstract colorful stuff. This isn't too original -- I've seen these "circle" types of paintings in Pottery Barn or Ikea and similar places -- but I like the way it looks so I painted one for us. This is on sheetrock, about 60 x 40 inches.



This one's original. Some flowers on a 3 x 4-foot canvas.



I like the following style a lot, simply because I'm a design nerd and I'm into typography. I think big hand-painted, type-based artwork is cool. These two are painted on chipboard and scratched up for an intentionally weathered look.





The next two are both on sheetrock and both based on songs. One contains the modified lyrics of a version of "You Are My Sunshine" that Aimee and I sing to the kids. The other painting only gets brought out at Christmas time. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to tell which is which.





This is one of two big paintings that hang in the foyer of our church. It's a detail of a stained-glass window. It's pretty big -- something like 4x8 foot.



I painted these to match the bedding and decor of my daughter's room. I think it was a design series Target sold several years ago. So the bugs aren't original. But still fun. They're painted on salvaged cabinet doors. (I painted the stuff on the wall, too.)



And these next two I'd actually consider selling you, if you're interested. They are on plywood, 60 x 40 inches and used to hang in Owen's room. He's grown out of the construction truck phase, so we're done with these. If you're in the market for one or two really big, used paintings (with drill holes -- these were screwed into the studs on the wall), send me an email and we can figure something out.





So, if you'd like a big original custom painting that contains:

1) family portraiture
2) family names
3) song lyrics
4) other fun sayings
5) contemporary abstract geometric shapes
6) simple cartoony stuff like bugs and trucks

...then I'd love to make one of my 2009 paintings a commissioned one for you. Email me if you're interested and we can discuss pricing and style and format and medium and colors and all that good stuff.

A Thousand New Pets: Worm Composting

A few months ago I interviewed an interesting guy for an article about reducing waste, scheduled to appear in an upcoming issue of Christian Single. His name is Dave Chameides, and instead of throwing away his trash in 2008, he collected it all in his basement. It was a bit of environmental performance art as a personal project to bring attention to the amount of trash we consume each day. A pretty cool idea, I think (though I'm glad he did it and not me). He got some crazy-good publicity from it, though. If you consider feature stories from media around the world to be "crazy good." Which I do.

One of the things we talked about in the interview was something Dave had begun doing as a way to reduce the amount of trash he had to keep up with: worm composting, otherwise known as vermicomposting. Composting with worms is similar to regular composting, only you're not letting microbes break your food scraps and stuff into excellent fertilizer...you're letting a box of worms do it. The worms eat your garbage (and junk-mail, and other organic stuff), then poop it out as worm castings, which is a rich organic material that plants and gardens love.

I thought to myself: There is nothing cooler than keeping a box filled with thousands of worms in your house, feeding trash to those worms, and collecting their poo/compost to feed your flowers. So one of my fun new recycling projects for 2009 is worm composting. I got a 5-tray worm bin from The Worm Factory, set it up, then ordered my worms.

Here's the factory, with the first tray. (You have to build up to full capacity.)



On Friday, the worms arrived. Worm composting is best accomplished with a particular kind of earthworm: Red Wigglers (Eisenia Foetida). They're smaller than your basic nightcrawlers used for fishing, but are more communal and love trash. Below are a couple of our new pets, surrounded by damp shredded newspaper, which is part of their habitat (and food) in the Worm Factory:



The worms eat our kitchen scraps, shredded paper products, coffee grounds and filters, tea bags, egg shells, and a bunch of other stuff (but not protein or dairy). They don't smell. They stay in the bin. And they are fascinating to the kids.

At least, that's what is supposed to happen. Right now my worms are in the recovery stage after having been shipped to us. We won't start feeding them large amounts of trash -- they can consume half their body weight in a day -- until they've gotten settled in.

I'll keep you updated.

The Friday Five

There are five questions you probably wouldn't think to ask me today. But that's OK, because I'll answer them anyway.

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1. Why is today special?

Today is special because my son, Owen, turns six today. Here's picture of Owen now:



And here's a picture of him on this day last year, when he turned 5:



Kids sure can change in a year. Happy birthday, Owen!

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2. What else are you celebrating today?

I am celebrating the fact that noted theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking -- the author of A Brief History of Time and someone I use for a key illustration in the first chapter of my doubt book -- has announced that he thinks we're probably not alone in the universe. There is some form of alien life out there, he says, but we should be careful in looking for it. Why? Because there's no guarantee it will be carbon-based, and it very well could destroy us because its DNA might be so different from ours. "Watch out if you would meet an alien," he told an audience on the 50th anniversary of the NASA space program. "You could be infected with a disease with which you have no resistance."

Good words to live by this Friday.

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3. What song was in your head when you woke up on Tuesday that still is in your head today, but instead of being annoyed about it you're kinda happy?

It was the "Morning's Here" song from Joey's outdoor neighbor on Friends.

Morning's here! Morning is here. Sunshine is here...the sky is clear. Morning's here...get into gear! Breakfast is near. The dark of night has disappeared!

If you don't know this song, you should learn it. This short clip will help:


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4.What is one more link you think we will enjoy today?

Here's one. Want to save on toner or ink cartridges for regular, non-important printing at home? A Dutch company called Spranq has developed a font that uses 20% less ink or toner to print. That's because it has small holes in it. Perfect for at-home printing. Also? It looks cool. You can download Spranq Ecofont for free right here. Small steps.



[H/T: Coolhunting]

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5. What is one completely made-up word you have been thinking of, inexplicably, since first seeing it used on Tuesday?

That word is cannarf. It's the main measurement of the also made-up "Cannarf Rating System" developed by our friend Bryan Allain. Cannarfs are surprisingly handy tools for rating things, and cannarf is fun to say. It's a double-winner. And like "Morning's Here," I can't get the word out of my head.

Good job, Bryan.

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What questions are you not being asked today, but you want to answer anyway?

Fake Jason's Fake Novel

Yesterday was really inspirational and up-with-peopleish. I'm conflicted about it. Should I do that kind of thing more or less often?

While I'm waiting for your answer, I thought this would be a good time to check in with Fake Jason Boyett, my alter ego on Twitter. I started that Twitter account because I found myself wanting to use that format -- and its 140-character blank slate -- in far more creative ways than standard rules of honesty would allow. In other words, I wanted to make stuff up.

My first Fake Jason tweet, made up on the spot, ended up being this:

Starting my new novel. Quick description? It's "Twilight" meets "Purpose-Driven Life." But with an unreliable narrator. (12.4.08)

Then I started microblogging as Fake Jason and I couldn't stop. It wasn't long before I thought a little more about that first tweet about the fake novel and decided, well, why not insert random fake sentences from the fake novel into my fake twittering? So I did. Turns out the story involves a character named Gina, who must be some kind of investigator or heroine.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to gather all the lines from the novel in one place, just to see what we know about it after one month. (Please note: I make these up as I go, with absolutely no forethought. I always try to make the posts as random and weird as possible, with a hard-boiled, noirish tone. Attempts to construct a plot from these snippets will likely melt your brain. Mine, too. But don't let that stop us from trying.)

So, here are all the fake novel posts from my fake Twitter account, in order:

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Random line from my novel: "Gina was thirsty, but it was not the kind of thirst you could quench with a tall glass of Grape Nehi." (12.4.08)

Gina knew who had scrawled the message. It was a hunchback, no doubt. The question now was: Which hunchback? (12.4.08)

Gina awoke in a dark tunnel. Her ribs ached, her left shoe was gone, and that oncoming light was certain to be bad news. (12.5.08)

Sunset at last. Frogs chirped in the trees behind the churro hut. Gina crossed herself, thumbed off the safety, and aimed. (12.5.08)

The well was deep, and narrow, and the lava was rising fast. Gina held tight. Only she could rescue the baby. (12.8.08)

Gina looked up, and the night sky above her was as as beautiful, fragile, and dangerous as a set of glass dentures. (12.8.08)

The pelts were stacked up to the rafters. The air was soaked with death. Gina bit into the deer jerky and grinned. (12.9.08)

The creature glared at Gina from the top of the Ferris wheel, the lost manuscript clutched in its claws. Gina shivered. (12.10.08)

Gina slammed to a stop, spilling both her coffee and the vial containing the eaglet's blood. Now she was mad. (12.11.08)

Gina panicked. The rope was coiled. The strychnine was packed next to the glow sticks. But where was the baking soda? (12.15.08)

She trembled with the effort, briny sweat escaping through every pore, but finally Gina reached the she-bear's lair. (12.17.08)

It had been a long day. First the car-jacking, then the baby rescue, and then the DVR skipped 'Judge Mathis.' Life stunk. (12.18.08)

Bewildered, Gina picked up the gadget and pushed the red button. Nothing happened. At least, nothing nearby... (12.23.08)

Gina slipped beneath the carriage of the Crown Vic. After attaching the beacon, she traced a big 'G' into the oilpan scum. (1.5.09)

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This story has already taken some interesting turns. Questions to discuss:

Who is Gina?
What is she after?
What roles will the baby eaglet, the she-bear, and the Ferris-wheel "creature" play?
What should the fake novel be called?
Where should the story go next?

(Here's the Fake Jason Twitter RSS feed. Here's the Real Jason Twitter RSS. You don't have to be on Twitter to get them, btw.)

My Because-I-Can Philosophy

Yesterday I was reading comments to my resolutions post and looking over the resolutions themselves, and was kinda surprised (which is weird, me being the author and everything) how many of them were fitness-related. I've always been pretty active, but I guess I've gotten on a bit of a fitness kick over the last 3 or 4 years. It's probably some combination of entering my 30s a few years back, seeing my naturally fast metabolism begin to slow down, and observing three years ago that I had become softer and doughier than I used to be. (I've always been skinny, the result of good genes and small bones. But I noticed there was more flesh wrapped around those small bones than before.)

So I started swimming regularly, because I enjoyed it and it provided a decent full-body workout and because it was sorta fun. I started seeing some results in the way of body transformation -- I got a little leaner, observed the beginnings of some muscle definition (muscles? I have muscles?!?), and noticed a difference in the way I felt. There's nothing like visible results to keep you motivated, and before long the swimming-for-health turned to swimming-for-distance and then to strength training and then to triathlon training. So here I am.

Being an introverted writer-type, I'm the kind of person who's prone to a lot of self-reflection. Which means I often end up asking myself why I've fallen into and maintained this semi-obsession with being in shape. I came up with three reasons:

1) I'm a vain knucklehead. I've noticed that I look better than I used to. My wife tells me I look better, too. I won't pretend this isn't a factor. (This would be a good point to link back to this sad, dorky post involving my hair.)

2) Family. I want to be an active, energetic, jumping-on-the-trampoline kind of dad to my kids. Can't do that if the trampoline makes me all wheezy and exhausted. Also: I want to be around a long, long time for them, too. Living a healthy life now is like an investment in my long-term future.

3) Because I can. I'm going to expand this reason below, because I think it's the kind of thing we can apply to lots of areas of life -- not just fitness.

One of the reasons I live a very active lifestyle is simply because I am able to do it. I have been blessed with working arms and legs and a decent cardiovascular system. My good health is a gift -- a blessing -- and what's the most grateful and polite thing to do with a gift? The answer is pretty simple: Use it.

The guy who started one of the triathlons I competed in last year (Tri to Make a Difference -- the fish/vomit one at Lake Tanglewood near Amarillo, Texas) got into triathlons because his son was born with a rare neurological disorder. They soon discovered that he would never be able to walk, ride a bike, care for himself or communicate much. One of the reasons the dad then began running, biking, and swimming was because he could -- and because his son would never be able to. Simple? Yes, but really inspiring to me. It's a way to celebrate your blessings. It's a way to embrace life and be grateful for what you have. Something as common as the ability to move around is a gift...only you don't realize how much until the movement stops.

That's inspiring to me. It's become a good explanation for why I do stuff. Why do I run? Because I can. Why do I swim? Because I can. I jump on the trampoline and make art and play drums and write books and wrestle with my kids because I can. Not everyone is able do those things, and for me to sit on my natural abilities and never use them is to be ungracious, lazy, selfish, and flat-out ungrateful. To ignore those things so I can spend more time on Facebook or watching TV or otherwise goofing off is to leave a particular gift unwrapped and forgotten in the closet. It's an insult to the Giver of every good and perfect gift.

Rest, of course, is good. Always good. But so is activity.

Which is why I do a lot of stuff. I live a busy (but very satisfying) life. Why do I do it? Because I can.

I dare not waste a blessing.

Which leads to this question: Are there any gifts in your life that are gathering dust in a closet?

If so, maybe it's time to dust them off.

Resolutions for 2009

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide people into arbitrary categories and those who don't.

Wait, that's not how I intended to start this. Let me try again.

There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who make New Year's resolutions and those who don't. I am the first kind. And I believe that it's not only important to make resolutions, but also to make them public, so people will hold you accountable to them. I fully want friends (as well as total strangers) to come up to me in June and ask how I'm doing in relation to my goal of becoming a circus clown, or how far I've gotten in my resolution to learn Russian so I can read The Brothers Karamazov in the original language.

Those are just hypothetical resolutions, of course. I don't fully intend to become a circus clown, as chaps tend to make my thighs look way too big.

Anyway, on to the resolving. Here were my resolutions for 2008 and last month's check-up of those resolutions.

And here are my resolutions for 2009:

1. Sell lots of books. My three Pocket Guide books -- Pocket Guide to the Bible, Pocket Guide to Sainthood, and Pocket Guide to the Afterlife -- release this summer. My doubt book is tentatively scheduled to release this fall. In the meantime, you can buy the original first edition of Pocket Guide to the Bible (signed and shipped personally by the author) for only $6.99. Or only $3.99 each if you buy a whole box of them. Give them away in your college/young adult ministry! Donate them to federal prisoners! Use them as bookstops! Credit cards and PayPal accepted. See the sidebar at left for details.

2. Continue using this blog for blatant self-promotion. Done! (See above.)

3. Read 12 books. "Read more books" was one of my resolutions last year and I failed to meet it. It's hard to read books when you're writing books, because 1) you don't have a lot of free time, and 2) everything you read is research-related. Also, the books you do read are generally read partially, not completely. I don't consider a book officially "read" unless I finish the whole thing. So this year I'm attaching a specific number to it -- one book per month -- and I will keep track of my list and share it with you in December. Special note: My own books don't count. By the time each one is released, I will have read it at least a half-dozen times, so that would eclipse my goal on its own.

4. Exercise at least four times a week, but don't focus on any single category. I like to exercise but I tend to get bored with it, so I need to keep it fresh. My goal this year is to make my workouts cross-platform, so instead of lifting weights three times a week, I might just do that once a week. The other three would be some combination of swimming, jogging, CrossFit, rec-league volleyball, or competitive unicycling. Except for the unicycling.

5. Participate in three sprint triathlons. Last summer I participated in my first tri. Then I competed in another tri, which I finished but not without throwing up midway through the race. This year, I want to add one more to the mix, and subtract the vomiting.

6. Participate in another single-category race/competition. Not sure what this will be. Maybe a local 5K as triathlon prep?

7. Waste less. This is another really broad one, but I have no idea how to quantify it. This will involve some combination of the following: driving less, biking more, walking more, spending less, showering faster (less water), washing dishes faster (less water), turning lights off more frequently, recycling more, and composting with worms. That's right: vermiculture will become my newest hobby. I'm getting set up with it hopefully this weekend, and will report. It will be awesome.

8. Make more art. I didn't paint much in 2008, due to the book-writing thing. I'm hoping to have more time for it in 2009. I probably need to quantify this -- make four paintings or something -- but I'm hesitant to do so.

9. What the heck: Finish four paintings. Apparently I just talked myself into it.

10. Limber up enough to be able to touch my toes. So last year, immediately prior to my second triathlon, all the competitors were warming up en masse with a professional trainer, and he said something about doing a quick toe touch -- because "you're all triathletes so obviously you should be able to do this." I wanted to raise my hand and tell him to shut up, because I have never been able to touch my toes without bending my knees. Never. I have no idea why, but something about my body configuration prohibits it. My arms are about five inches short. Or my hamstrings are about five inches too tight. By the end of 2009, I want to have stretched my way to enough flexibility to meet this rudimentary fitness goal.

11. Run a mile in less than 6:15. I have friends who average 6 minutes per mile in 10Ks and marathons, and they disgust me. At what feels like my top speed, I can run a mile in barely less than 7 minutes. Six minutes seems impossible. So part of my exercise plan this year will involve improving my time, for no reason other than I like to have goals and I like to pursue them. And because when I run, I feel God's pleasure. (It feels a lot like wheezing.)

12. Get a few more book-related speaking engagements. I've done a few in the past, but since my last book came out in 2006, the Jason-as-speaker campaign has dried up. I'm hoping to relaunch it with the new books. You can help me with this: tell your local universities or churches or nonprofits that I am super-inspiring and dynamic and funny, despite my inability to touch my toes.

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Twelve is a good, spiritual number. I think I'll stop there.

What are your resolutions? Post them in the comments, so I can check up on you in June and see how the clown thing is coming along.

Ovid, Tattoos, CrossFit, Snow Cave

I'm back. I've missed you, blog. I've missed you, too, blog readers. But as the great Roman poet Ovid once wrote, "What is without periods of rest will not endure."

Random fact related to Ovid #1: Ovid is generally ranked alongside Virgil and Horace as one of the canonical poets of Latin literature. Now you know.

Random fact related to Ovid #2: Around the time I first heard of Ovid (at some point in high school), I began to read more scholarly-type books that had footnotes and endnotes. In scholarly writing, when you give a reference the first time, you list all the title/author/publisher/page number info. If you then reference the same publication right after that, you simply write Ibid., p. 43 or whatever. It's an abbreviation for ibidem, a Latin phrase meaning "the same place." During that span of time, there was a period where I confused the poet Ovid with the reference Ibid., and the result was that I kept reading books and thinking, "Man, this Ibid guy gets quoted everywhere! And about everything! I've gotta read some of his stuff."

My teenage fascination with the incredibly popular and well-rounded Latin poet Ibid was brief but intense. Also very, very dorky.

Well. That was a really weird way to ease back into blogging for 2009. Anyway, my Ovid-inspired period of rest is over so now this blog can endure. Tomorrow I will list my new year's resolutions and invite you to do the same, so be thinking about that.

But today? Today I want to tell you three cool things I experienced over my Christmas and New Year's break and invite you to list the three coolest things you experienced.

The Three Coolest Things I Did Over Christmas and New Year's:

1. I accompanied my mom to a tattoo parlor, where she got her first tattoo. My mom, oddly enough, has long desired a tattoo. For at least the last ten years or so. (She is cool that way.) So for her 60th birthday in November, my brother and sister and I treated her to a tattoo. With everyone in town over Christmas, we took her to a local tattoo place where she got a tiny little daisy on her foot. My sister got a matching one.

2. I did a CrossFit workout with my sister. I'd read some stuff about CrossFit -- it's a highly intense, full-body, overall-fitness workout system-slash-philosophy that's popular with military personnel and law-enforcement types and really well-rounded athletes. My sister, a former gymnast, is NOT in the military or law enforcement. And she just had a baby in June. So I expected, being a sort-of triathlete who is still in decent shape, to be able to hang with her. But I could barely keep up. I was limp-limbed for the rest of the day. And I was sore for the next week. CrossFit may be controversial, and it's not exactly what I'd describe as fun, but I can certainly see how it might be beneficial.

3. I dug a snow cave. My family and I spent the last couple days of 2008 and first day of 2009 at our good friends' cabin in Angel Fire, New Mexico. Behind the cabin was a pile of snow nearly five feet high, where the results of a recent 30-inch snowfall had fallen from the roof. My two kids and I looked at that big pile of snow and thought: Let's dig a big hole. The hole turned into a cave. The cave turned into a tunnel. The kids and I could all fit in it at once, side-by-side. We could have survived an avalanche in that thing. It was awesome.

So...those are my three most different and cool holiday experiences. What were yours?