In honor of Pocket Guide release week, it's time for another fun caption contest. The winner gets a free copy of any of the new books -- Bible, Sainthood, or Afterlife (your choice). Enter as often as you like, with one entry per comment.
Here are the rules:
1. The caption can be no longer than two sentences.
2. The caption must be creative.
3. In a nod to the saints, you must refer to at least one of the Santas as "St. Nick."
4. You must also employ the phrase "right jolly old elf."
5. Bonus consideration will be given if you can work in a reference -- any reference -- to the afterlife.
Got it? Here's the photo.
In order to be considered for the contest, entries must be placed by noon, central, tomorrow (Wednesday, August 5).
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Pocket Guide to Sainthood
Pocket Guide to the Afterlife
Pocket Guide to the Bible
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Release Week Caption Contest
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12 comments:
After a characteristically violent game of tinsel hockey, the winning team’s captain, ol’ St. Nicholas, had to be escorted via wheelchair by the not-so-saintly (and notoriously vengeful) Santa who pushed him right into the traffic of St. Nick’s nemeses – Tannenbaum, Ice Princess and the Right Jolly Old Elf (who, ironically enough, always stood on the left of her gang). The rendezvous lasted no more than second, but after sensing the pining revenge of Tannenbaum and experiencing the chill the princess’ stare, St. Nick plunged himself out of the wheelchair, falling headfirst into the street, dying to escape this holiday hell.
Since St. Peter was busy, St. Nicholas, manning the pearly gates, escorts a right jolly old elf into heaven's outdoor Towne Centre food court.
There once were two Saints named Nick,
One whose leg broke with a kick.
The Tree had no pity,
Thinking she was to pretty,
To ever give a lick.
(ok i didnt read all the instructions before submitting so here is my offical entry)
There once were two Saints named Nick,
One whose leg broke with a kick.
The right jolly old elf,
Left her feelings on the shelf,
To ever give a lick.
Edmund and Peter determined that the best course of action would be to dress as that right jolly old elf, St. Nick, and return to Narnia to face the white witch. Upon exiting the wardrobe, however, it occurred to them that they had taken a wrong turn-and ended up in hell.
hahaha Bryce, you wrote a poem ...
We all had code names: Ms. Tree, Ms. Ice, I was Ms. Gnome; the St. Nick's were the brains of the operation. For the jolly old elf in the wheelchair, it would be a Chanukah he'd not soon forget.
For some reason i couldn't get Reservoir Dogs out of my head as soon as I saw that pic.
One St. Nick to another: "Ho ho ho, right jolly old elf, are we in heaven?" "No, this is where the boss puts retired Christmas employees out to pasture....ho... ho... *sob*"
Often confused for each other St. Nick and The Right Jolly Old Elf were actually only ever seen together in New Orleans once a year for their annual meeting with the Travelocity Gnome, the Manic Christmas Tree, and Casper the Friendly Ghost of the Afterlife. (who having left the cute stage had now grown to be over seven feet tall)
*notice the background*
I know I'm late but here it is-
Former mall santas and co-workers seen suffering in hell for usurping the real meaning of Christmas. The real St. Nick (not pictured) commented only that he never really enjoyed being called a "right jolly old elf" and feels that without remorse, the punishment seemed appropriate.
St. Nick and his disabled twin hold up Ms. Twinkling Tree for all the presents hidden under her boughs, as Ms. Ice Queen and Miss Right Jolly Old Elf are caught as innocent bystanders.
Sorry, Bryan and the Bells. Unfortunately you're too late. The contest ended at noon. The winner is announced here:
http://blog.jasonboyett.com/2009/08/release-week-caption-contest-winners.html
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