Admission: I am stealing this directly from Slate. But do I care? No. Do you care? Probably not. So here goes:
The summer blockbuster film, opening this weekend, is Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It is the sequel to the first movie, which itself was based on a line of toys. Which sounds pretty lame, idea-wise, if you ask me. Which is also probably why they cast Megan Fox in it.
But I know you people. You can be a whole lot lamer than that. So here's the contest idea: Come up with your own movie title based on a toy. Tomorrow at noon Central I will pick my favorite entry and you get a free signed book from the Jason Boyett library. ANY Jason Boyett book, except for Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse because I am out of my personal stock of those titles right now. (Sorry.)
You can submit as many times as you want, but each submission must be a separate comment to this post. Because that makes it easier for me to collect them.
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Here are some of my own ideas to help you get started:
• Wooden Blocks: Revenge of the Rogue Splinter
• Strawberry Shortcake: Street Justice, Part 2
• Thundercats: Mumm-Ra Returns
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Ready? Go!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Name Your Own Toy-Based Summer Movie
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35 comments:
JARTS: Terror From The Sky
-Bill
Ideas that sound dumb but may rock --
Stretch Armstrong: Reach Of Justice
Where's Waldo (movie idea - start with a wide pan of Earth and then, over the next 90 minutes, it is an extremely slow zoom in until it finally begins to zoom in on our hero standing on the corner of Main and 15th. Waldo waves and says hi. Credits Role.
Monopoly (directed by Ridely Scott)
...Oh wait. That last one if real.
Slinky - Falling down with grace
Lincoln Logs - Presidential cabin fever
Hula Hoop the Movie: Curse of the Devil's Ring
Hungry Hungry Hippos: Fleshfeast
Stratego: The Rhine Gambit
Candyland: Decay
Re: Erik's Post
Actually, all three of your suggestions are listed is in development at IMDB.
In fact, some sources have said that Stretch Armstrong has Ron Howard directing (or at least producing)and Universal has acquired the rights to "Where's Waldo"...
LEG0: 20,000 Blocks On The Bedroom Floor (And I Can't Find The One I'm Looking For)
MAD LIBS: the MOVIE
The (adjective) (noun) (body part) movie of all time! (exclamation)
Telemundo presents "Voltron: Formen las Piernas!"
TROLL DOLLS: The Movie
Trailer Voiceover: "It started in the 60's with one of America's biggest toy fads EVER... It happened again in the 70's. Then again in the 80's. One every decade the creepy haired doll fad has swept across the nation. It's been 10 years since their last invasion...
This Christmas, the trolls enter the new millennium.
You thought they were ugly and creepy then?
Words flash on the screen with voiceover:
You.Haven't.Seen.Anything.Yet.
Creeping into Theaters this December.
The Care Bears vs. Freddy Krueger
Chinese Finger Cuffs: The Final Escape
Movie: Tamagotchi Strikes Back
Teaser Trailer:
On screen: Tamagotchi toy with the pet laying dead on the screen. Slow zoom in.
Voiceover: "Remember that one time you purposefully didn't feed or clean or play with your Tamagotchi because you thought it was funny to watch it die? You don't?
"Well your Tamagotchi does"
On screen: The dead Tamagotchi pet's eyes shoot open.
Voiceover: "This summer, your Tamagotchi gets it's revenge"
-Care Bears - Origin of the Care Bear Stare
-My Buddy & Kid Sister: Kiddy Klub Killers
-Teddy Ruxpin - Behind the Music (VH1 Series)
-He-Man: Temptation at Greyskull
Weebles - Unleashed (They DON'T fall down)!
Mousetrap: The Curious Case of Rube Goldberg
Slots of Glory: The Ballad of Connect Four
Barbie Meltdown: Skipper Returns
Derailed: Massacre at Shining Time Station
RE: Keith
Yea, I caught that. Sad day. Monopoly with Ridley Scott. Is there any way these are gonna be good?
BTW, loved the Care Bears Vs. Freddy Kurger idea. Let's Care Bear Stare the menacing chimo. lolz
Snorks: just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.
The Revenge of Midge, Stacy and Francie: Scorned by Barbie and out of production, these former BFFs tell all!
Chia: An Inconvenient Pet
Starring Samuel L Jackson:
"I've had it with these mother-f***ing monkeys in this mother-f***ing barrel!"
Tinker Toys: Round Peg, Round hole, and the Rise of Mephisto
Zombie YoYo
tagline: "What goes down, must come Up"
"The Teddy Ruxpin Story: A Thugs Life"
or
"Sylvanian Family 2: Meet the Frockers"
Two more-
"Dino-Riders in time IV: Gulf War Riders"
or
"Strawberry Shortcake: The College Years"
One more (sorry I'm on night shift)-
Mad Balls Reunion: The Final Bounce Off
"Wee-tee Toh-loo U-nye Noo-loo"
Description: A critically acclaimed foreign indie hipster art house film about a outcast & lonely Furby with an incredible talent looking for friendship in Paris and finding it in the most unusual place.
The title is furbish and roughly translates to "Sing Like You're Happy"
In other news, there is a furbish dictionary online. Who knew.
SLAM IT!: The Legend of Kevin Simmons
Trailer Voiceover:
"'Pistol Pete' Maravich set the NCAA Division I scoring record at the age of 22.
Starting at age 14, Bobby Fischer played in 8 United States Chess Championships and won every one.
But neither of these adolescent prodigies can compare to Kevin Simmons, the most dominating figures in one of the 20th centuries most nuanced and classic competitions: POGS!
He began with next to nothing, discovering a dirty POG Slammer in the sewer behind his Columbus, OH apartment complex when he was only 11. What happened next was extraordinary. His rise and fall through the ranks of the world's best POG players became legendary. In his 2 year run, Kevin earned more flimsy cardboard circles printed with ridiculous cartoon characters than he could count. His eventual fall into Mountain Dew and Pixi Stix binges was well documented in newspapers around the country. Now, witness his redemption.
You can meet the legend in theaters this fall.
Rainbow Brite and the Shadows of Darkness
-Emily
Ewoks: No Ordinary Teddy bear
Emily
OK. Noon. Entries are closed from this point. Now I just have to choose my favorite. Feel free to influence my vote with your recommendations...
Could I influence your vote with a gentleman you might know... a Mr. Goodbar. Or perhaps you know my other friend Baby Ruth and his nougaty goodness.
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