Jesus Christ is Coming, by Jim Blackmon

It's time, dear readers, for another Christian video along the lines of "The Breakfast Song" or "Jesus Is My Friend." This one is called "Jesus Christ Is Coming." It's by a guy named Jim Blackmon. I have no idea who he is. But he is awesome.

This video has the appearance of something produced using green-screen technology from, say, a 1986 Cheap Trick video. But it's not. As far as I can tell, this is a brand-new video.

As you watch, I implore you to enjoy the following:

1. The beautifully deadpan ivory-tickling of the keyboard guy, who appears to have been brought in off the street, perhaps from a local biker gang, and told to pretend he could play the piano. "Move your hands up and down, like this," the director told him. "Show no emotion." For a street-savvy biker, he was quite obedient.

2. The rhythm-less tambourine slapping of the tambourine girl, who seems to have been added for no reason other than the fact that, in the 1970s, sometimes there were girls in miniskirts who played the tambourine. I don't hear any tambourine in the song, nor did I hear (or see) any female vocals, nor does it appear she actually knows much about playing the tambourine -- or much about the song itself -- so my assumption is that she has been added as eye candy. Wow.

3. The drummer is playing a rhythm all right, but only occasionally does the visual rhythm match the audio. This is clearly because he is trying to play two drums -- a snare plus a bass drum with a kick pedal -- while standing up. This is a difficult assignment. Pulling off a snazzy fedora like he's wearing is also a difficult assignment.

4. I have nothing to say about the lead singer/guitarist, Jim Blackmon (I guess), except that you should watch for the 2:50 point where he plays tiny little laser beams out of his guitar, toward Satan, who appears to catch them in his clawed hands. I'm no guitar expert, but I guess you can get an effects pedal that lets you do that?

5. Yes, Satan plays a large role in this video. He has long, stringy hair, red painted skin, and horns, just like the Bible describes him. Worse, I'm not sure Satan's appearance in this video is ironic. I would dismiss it as camp, but can it be campy if you don't know it's campy? I'm thinking no.

6. For a song about Jesus Christ, Satan gets far more screen time than Jesus. Yes, Jesus appears for about four seconds. But he seems a bit sheepish about the appearance. And by "sheepish," I mean possibly stoned. That is possibly the least inspiring Christ figure I have ever seen, next to Carmen.

7. I may be mistaken, but do you think the guy playing Jesus is the same guy who plays Satan? If so, the theology behind this video is something I've not ever encountered. But it's definitely intriguing.

8. The whispery-voiced "morally sound Phil Thomas Katt" at the beginning of the video frightens me more than the devil.



[H/T: Matthew Paul Turner]