10 Questions

If you're new to this blog, have you told us about yourself yet? If not, click the Who Are You? link that's always available in the left sidebar.

It's there so you can:

1) tell us who you are, and...

2) read weird things about everyone else.

Lacking any kind of meaningful segue, I will now move onto something unrelated. I was reminded the other day about this interview I did ("10 Questions for Jason Boyett") after Pocket Guide to the Bible came out. It contains some good background stuff about my writing and career and a few other things, if you're interested. It's two years old, but still fairly accurate.

Don Miller at the DNC

Just to follow-up on last week's post, here's the video and transcript of Don Miller's prayer at the Democratic National Convention. When Cameron Strang graciously backed out from giving the prayer, Don stepped in.

Because, in his words, "Somebody calls you and asks you to pray, you do."

I recognize that not everyone's the biggest fan of Don and/or his politics and books, but honestly? I can't think of anyone better to represent the new generation of American evangelicals, and I'm glad he was willing to take advantage of this opportunity.

Here's the YouTube clip, courtesy of Bryan at donmillerfans.net. A transcript of the prayer will follow.

Please join me for the next few moments in our Benediction.

“Father God,

This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.

We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.

We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.

Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.

Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.

Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.

Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.

Hep us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.

Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.

We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.

Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world.

A lot of people don’t like us but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.

Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world.

Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.

Lastly, father, unify us.

Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.

And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments—but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.

God we know that you are good.

Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.

I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.

Let Him be our example.

Amen.”

Amen, indeed. Nice job, Don.

How I Roll: Lunch Work Edition

Friend-of-the-Pocket-Guides Bryan Allain tagged me with a lunch-related edition of "How I Roll." Obviously you readers have always been wondering what I do for lunch, so at Bryan's behest, I'm gonna tell you.

He submitted the questions. If there's one that didn't get asked but should have, comment away.

1. What time do you usually leave for lunch?

During the summer, it's sometime around 12:15 pm. During the last school year, it was around 11:30 am, because my son, Owen, took at nap at 12:30. We needed time to eat lunch and wrestle before naptime.

Both kids are in school starting today, so my lunch-time habits may change in the coming months.

2. How long do you usually take for lunch?

About an hour. Rarely longer, unless I'm meeting a friend or it's a working-type lunch. It's hard to get into a restaurant, talk to someone, eat a meal, and get back to work within an hour.

3. Ever eat lunch at home?

Yep. Pretty much 95 percent of my lunches are at home. The reasons for this are tri-fold:

A. I live only two miles from where I work. That's a pretty quick commute, even on a bike.

B. I'm cheap.

C. No offense, but I'd rather eat with my kids or wife than just about anyone else I can think of.

4. What are your favorite places to eat out for Work Lunch?

I'm partial to Thai food and Mexican places. If you think you know what "Mexican food" is but don't live in Texas, then you are most likely wrong. Here, when we say "Mexican food," we mean "Tex-Mex," which involves various plates combining delicious amounts of beans, meat, enchiladas, fajitas, guacamole, salsa, and cheese. It does not involve anything that can be purchased at Taco Bell.

5. How often do you bring food in from home?

Most days at home I either eat leftovers from the night before, or I make a sandwich or wrap using healthy and delicious Flat-Outs. My favorite meats for both are thin-sliced Boar's Head roasted barbecue chicken. Regular accoutrements include pesto, tomatoes, romaine lettuce, sugar snap peas, and cucumbers. It's like a salad with bread!

6. Are you a lone ranger or a community eater?

See above. Mostly I eat with my family, but when they're not available, I very much enjoy eating while reading a magazine. My lunchtime reading preferences therefore include Newsweek and Entertainment Weekly.

7. How often does your company pay for your lunch?

Not too often.

8. What is your favorite lunch meal of all time?

It's hard to choose. I'm pretty happy with any Thai food, Tex-Mex, pizza, or greasy hamburger meal. I'm happy with just about any food, because I like to eat. In fact, that's pretty much why I exercise: I exercise not to look good, or to live longer, or to feel like I'm getting my money's worth out of my gym membership.

No, I exercise so I can eat. That's the American way.

--------------

Well now. That's the most I've ever written about lunch in my life. Thanks for that, Bryan.

Now it's your turn, dear readers. Answer the questions for yourself, if you want. How do you roll when it comes to lunchiness?

Relevant and the DNC

If you didn't know, RELEVANT founder Cameron Strang got invited to give the opening invocation from the main stage at the Democratic National Convention. Yep, the national TV broadcast. The DNC is looking to reach out to faith-minded young voters, and because Obama's campaign has been in touch with RELEVANT a few times, they thought of him.

At first, Cameron said yes. (For the record, I would have, too.) The DNC sent out a press release about it. Then Cameron thought more about the offer, considered that it might be construed as if RELEVANT was picking sides -- Cameron's a registered Independent in Florida, btw -- and then he declined the offer.

A good, wise choice on his part, I think -- whether he's planning to vote for Obama or not. (He says he's not sure.) I was happy for Cameron when I heard the news. It would have been a great platform for RELEVANT. But I think I'm happier he declined. Neutrality is a good thing for a publication like his.

Eventually Cameron recommended to the DNC that Don Miller give the invocation instead. Don said yes. (Again, I would have, too.)

You can read the whole story here.

UPDATE: Don Miller talks to Christianity Today about why he accepted the offer to pray at the convention, why he's a registered Democrat, and why he'll be voting for Obama.

Trevin Encounters the Apocalypse

My ancient Google alert for Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse (which released in 2005) has lain dormant for months and months, but it pinged this morning with a brand-new book review from none other than Trevin Wax. Trevin is a pastor, seminary student, theologian, former missionary, writer, and noteworthy theoblogger at Kingdom People.

The prospect of a serious theology blogger reviewing a pseudo-theological book like Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse (or Pocket Guide to the Bible) always makes me nervous. Because theologians are known for being pretty serious dudes. And my books -- while bursting with bits of theology -- are not-so-serious. This has annoyed a few noteworthy bloggers.

So I clicked on the link to Trevin's review with trepidation. I was met with good news and bad news.

The Good News: He liked it. Some embarrasingly self-congratulatory quotes...

"The book definitely delivers what it promises: an entertaining, lighthearted look at the best and worse of Christian speculation of the End Times."

"Boyett’s Pocket Guide to the Apocalypse is a lot of fun. It would make a good bathroom book for any student of theology!"

Thanks, Trevin. Those quotes are endorsement-level good. Nothing makes a writer happier than when someone finds an old book of his and enjoys it. A nice surprise.

The Bad News: He found it in the bargain bin at a local Christian bookstore.

In my imagination, it was forced off the shelf -- karmically, of course -- by Kirk Cameron's autobiography.

Sigh.

Katy Perry: Worse Than Amy Grant

You know how, back in the day, everyone used to get upset when Christian pop stars like Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith "crossed over" to mainstream radio in order to build their fan base? Katy Perry made the jump, too, and she's taking it to new extremes.

Unless you've been immersed in "positive, encouraging" music all the live-long day, you've probably heard Perry's hit single. It's the unofficial song of the summer for 2008, and it's called "I Kissed a Girl." (And she liked it.) And that's pretty much what it's about. Perry's hit the big-time since the song released. She's performing on the Warped Tour and sitting pretty at the top of the Billboard charts.

What you may not know is:

1) Perry's first album was released in the Christian market. Her name back then -- it was 2001 -- was Katy Hudson. Russ Breimeier at Christianity Today thought the self-titled album was pretty good. Katy was sixteen at the time, so apparently she had not yet experienced the likableness of girl-kissing and cherry chapstick. Instead, she sang about God.

2) Perry's father is an evangelical pastor.

3) Perry's pastor dad and mom are none too pleased about this development in her singing career. "I hate the song,” Mom told a newspaper. “It clearly promotes homosexuality and its message is shameful and disgusting. Katy knows how I feel...The first time I heard it I was in total shock. When it comes on the radio I bow my head and pray.”

Actually, Katy's song clearly promotes making your boyfriend jealous by experimenting with the other team. It's not so much advocating homosexuality as an end, but rather as a relationship tool. But don't fault Mom for this. She hasn't had time to listen to the full song because she's been praying.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that it wasn't so bad when Michael W. Smith left the Christian music scene so he could find his place in this world. It could have been a lot worse. He could have started singing about making out with George Michael. But instead he came back and sold a lot of worship albums and became good friends with George W. Bush.

I think we've all learned a valuable lesson today.

You Are the Editor: Pocket Guide to the Bible

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you probably know that my last book, Pocket Guide to the Bible -- published in 2006 by Relevant -- is being repackaged and republished as part of Jossey-Bass's new Pocket Guide reference series next summer, along with brand-new books Pocket Guide to Sainthood and Pocket Guide to the Afterlife.

The new books have been written and are now in the editing stages.

Pocket Guide to the Bible is already a published book and doesn't require much editing at all. However, I do have the chance to change a few small things -- mainly in the form of wording, minor edits, etc. — especially stuff that was in the original but that I don't really like anymore.

(There were a few early critics of the book who didn't appreciate the book's flippancy and/or humor in my descriptions of certain biblical events or characters. Some of their critiques I chalked up to the fact that some reviewers are sticks-in-the-mud and just didn't get it. Other critiques I took very seriously.)

So before version 2.0 of Pocket Guide to the Bible comes out, I'm going to change a few minor things. Here's one of them.

On page 176, in the "Lists" chapter, I have a list of "Seven Biblical Suicides." On number 6 in the list, about the suicide of King Saul's armor-bearer, I use the made-up phrase "Cobained himself" to describe the armor bearer's act of self-destruction. At the time, I was looking for a creative, culturally astute way to describe suicide without saying, yet again, "killed himself" or "committed suicide." As I tried to think of famous people who had committed suicide, I settled on Kurt Cobain. His name was well-known, it was still culturally relevant, and it lended itself nicely to being turned into a verb.

At the time, I thought it was clever.

I was wrong. It was insensitive, not really that funny, and too cute by half. It's still too soon to do that kind of thing. It might always be "too soon" to do that kind of thing, and I regret it.

So I'm taking the verb "Cobained" out of the next edition of Pocket Guide to the Bible.

But that might not be all, and here's where I need your help. Many of you have read the book -- some of you just purchased it recently, getting a signed copy directly from me at the bargain-basement price of $6.99 (shameless plug: see the sidebar at left). If you've read PGTTB, this is your chance to personally contribute to the next edition of the book. I want you to recommend any edits that fit within the following categories:

1) Any phrasing, words, or jokes that you think might have been inappropriate (like "Cobained" above)...

2) Any typos, mispellings, factual errors, or formatting errors...

3) Any jokes that, in your opinion, need to be removed or changed because they fall flat, don't make sense, or are just stupid...

4) Any cultural references that worked in 2006-2007 but won't be as funny in 2009.

We won't be able to make any big changes like, say, adding a chapter or including a left-out biblical character to the "Who's Who." But any single-line changes in phrasing are entirely possible.

Disclaimer: There is no guarantee I will accept your edits, but I do want to know what you think and if you catch something good I want to make it worth your while. If you recommend edits to me and they end up making their way into the next edition of the book you will:

1) have the satisfaction of knowing you had a direct hand in the end product;
2) have my everlasting gratitude
3) be rewarded with a signed, free copy of either Pocket Guide to the Afterlife or Pocket Guide to Sainthood when they are released.

Seriously. I'll make a list of people who recommended edits and note whether or not those edits make it into the book. The ones that do get a free gift next summer.

So, either email me (click the "contact Jason" link above left, and put PGTTB Edits in the subject line) or leave a comment below. And be nice about it. The original editors of the book -- and, um, the writer, too -- are frequent readers of this blog.

One more rule: This is a limited-time offer. Any edits have to be received by me, in comment or e-mail form, by next Friday, August 22. No exceptions.

Cool?

Questions for You

I have certain things on my mind. I am looking to you, dear readers, for answers.

1. A bunch of media reports indicate that Americans are driving fewer miles a month for the 8th straight month. High gas prices are apparently causing us to find other means of transportation, or simply to not go as many places. Question: Is this true for you? And if you're driving less, why? Other forms of transportation or fewer late-night trips to Taco Bell?

2. Apparently, there will be thousands of hours of footage broadcast on NBC, its affiliate networks, and the Internet during these Olympic games. Question: How much of this coverage are you watching? Are you an Olympics junkie? A casual fan? Are you aware that, if Michael Phelps were a country, he'd be close to the top ten in the medal count?

3. Watch this video, which excites my brother to no end. Question: Do you think this creature is the fabled chupacabra?

Your comments on any or all of the above are welcome.

My answers:

1. Yes. I ride my bike as much as possible to and from work and/or on other short errands, but I've also opened a small business across town that requires me to drive more. So I try to drive less, but I'm afraid I'm actually driving more these days than I used to.

2. I'm a casual fan. I might watch some with the kids to give them a taste of Olympic sports like swimming or gymnastics, and maybe a little late at night after the niños go to bed. But that's pretty much it. There's just too much to keep up with.

3. I don't know what that thing is. But it's weird. If only we had footage that clear of Bigfoot.

Fake Band Shirts at USA Today

I was genuinely surprised yesterday to hear, courtesy of my friend Bryan, that my dorky little side business, FakeBandShirts.com, had been mentioned by the ridiculously awesome pop-culture blogger Whitney Matheson at USA Today ("Real Shirts, Fake Bands").

Thanks, Whitney, for the shout-out.

Thanks, Bryan, for calling it to my attention.

Thanks, Justin, for coming up with the "Canine Doubletake" name, like, more than a decade ago, and for letting me make a shirt of it.

Thanks to all the emailers suddenly showing up with ideas for new fake band names.

Wanna know more about the concept? Read this. Or this.

Have your own idea for a Fake Band Name? You missed the official jasonboyett.com contest, but feel free to submit them in the comments. Just for kicks.

Behold My Bookshelves

I'll admit to being the slightest bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to a few (just a few) things in life. One of them is the arrangement of books. Book lovers -- and most writers -- tend to have extensive collections of books and obsess over their arrangement.

My living room has a big set of built-in shelves that have been home to my "best" books since we moved in a few years ago. (By "best" books, I mean the ones I want other people to see on my shelf, as opposed to the ones I keep in my closet because they are college textbooks, or only for research purposes, or kinda nerdy, or by Max Lucado.)

I used to have my books divided into two categories: fiction and nonfiction. They were then alphabetized from left to right on my shelves, with fiction at the top. This is always how I've done it, and, yes, it's a little bit OCD.

I changed that this weekend. But instead of freaking me out, it's been OK, because I replaced that first OCD organizational system with another, equally obsessive system. I arranged my books by color. Yep, color. I was inspired by a few cool photos I'd seen on flickr of books organized that way, and I thought it looked cool.

So I did it. And you know what? It looks cool.

Anyway, thought I'd share. Here's a pic of the shelves now.



Here's a larger photo, if you want.

So now it's your turn. How do you organize your books? By author? By color? By coolness?

Please share.

The Junky Car Club on Dave Ramsey

Some of you may know that I'm a member of and occasional blogger for the Junky Car Club, which is a politely rebellious organization against consumerism and the American habit of assigning (or seeking) status based on what kind of car you drive.

We Junky Car Club members believe cars should be practical tools that get you from one place to another place -- I'm something of a "practical tool" myself -- so we drive old, paid-for cars and use the money we save for social justice organizations (like Compassion International).

Anyway, JCC-founder Mike Foster was recently featured on the Dave Ramsey show on Fox Business. It's some good TV and a nice overview about the Club. Enjoy.

Part One:



Part Two:

Video Blog: The Things on My Desk

This is what happens when a few of you say irresponsible things like "More video blogging!" and "Great writing advice!" and "You have a surprisingly sexy presence on screen."

My response to those kind words is to give the people what they want: another video blog post.

But that's where the "what you want" part ends. Because this vlog is about the things on my desk. I'm not aware that anyone really asked for this information. But I am providing it anyway, because this is my blog and who, besides Chuck Norris, is gonna stop me?

No one, that's who.

My Other Life in Oklahoma

I seem to be having trouble remembering it, but according to this "Success Stories" article at Moultrie Feeders, yours truly recently bagged a huge buck near Rattan, Oklahoma, last gun season! You may doubt, but the facts are there.











Apparently, way back in the day, my uncle and I nicknamed another big buck "Ol' Mossyback." It is not clear from the article whether the deer I shot was Ol' Mossyback or not. But anyway: Ol' Mossyback.

The 21-point buck may in fact be a state record! This is exciting! I am not even kidding about this.*

* DISCLAIMERS:

• OK, fine. I'm kidding.

• I am not even a hunter.

• Actually, I hunted once. For wild turkey, with my dad, when I was 13 or so. I took one shot with a rifle and missed. And for the record, I was kinda glad I missed.

• I have never bagged a buck, huge or otherwise.

• My uncle and I do not routinely nickname the animals we have killed, but if we did, I am certain "Ol' Mossyback" would be a name we come up with. Because it's awesome.

• The next time I kill a mosquito or a spider, I am totally going to give it a nickname. Like "Ol' Fiddleback." Especially if it is a brown-recluse spider.

• There a distinct possibility that more than one Jason Boyett exists in the world, one of whom may or may not live in the timber country of Oklahoma.

7 Ill-Advised Overgeneralizations about Americans

Got back last night from a trip to San Antonio, Texas, with my family. We hit Sea World on Friday and Six Flags-Fiesta Texas on Saturday. Based on these two experiences, I have made the following stereotypical generalizations about people from the United States. (Or, at the least, those who come to San Antonio to visit theme parks.)

1. There are a whole lot of Americans -- regardless of race, color, and/or heritage -- who will pay lots of money to spend the day crammed into outdoor auditoriums in temperatures of 100+ (with high humidity) in order to see a killer whale swim around in a big tank.

2. More and more of these Americans seem to be, if not clinically obese, then at least way overweight.

3. This does not prevent them from spending $7.99 for a big bucket o' curly fries.

4. This also does not prevent them from wearing swimsuits that do little to hide their overweightness.

5. Most Americans will gladly pay $3.99 for 16 ounces of their favorite beverage. A surprising number of Americans will pay $12.99 for a 16-oz refillable souvenir cup of their favorite beverage, thinking it's a good deal because they can refill it throughout the day. They will then refill it only once.

6. Though I have two small, tasteful tattoos, most Americans have more tattoos than me, and these tattoos are not nearly as tasteful. Or small.

7. Most Americans mistakenly believe their two-year-old child will enjoy a vacation to an amusement park and remember it forever. They are wrong. The child will either sleep all day or throw tantrums all day, but these activities can be accomplished at home. For free.