Return of the Pocket Guides

I've been avoiding this until the time was right -- by which I mean the contracts are signed and everything's a go -- but here's the big announcement: my Pocket Guide series of books has a new home! Having finalized everything over the last few weeks, I'm now officially obligated to write and deliver three books in the series to Jossey-Bass by this time next year, aiming for a summer 2009 pub date.

I'm thrilled to have moved the series from RELEVANT (which is no longer publishing books) to Jossey-Bass. Jossey-Bass is an imprint of Wiley, a huge international publishing group that puts out a bunch of well-known reference series, including the ...For Dummies brand of books and Cliffs Notes. They think the snarky, religious-themed Pocket Guides will be a good, pocket-sized addition to the family. I happen to agree.

The first title -- the book I should be working on instead of blogging -- is Pocket Guide to Sainthood. It's actually a book I proposed before writing Pocket Guide to the Bible, but for various reasons the project never came together. I'm excited about it, because 1) it's been stewing around in my brain for three years now; and 2) there's some seriously good content in the world of sainthood. Great characters (St. Francis of Assisi), crazy stories (check out the life and times of Christina the Astonishing), and thought-provoking religious content (mortification, anyone?). All the perfect ingredients for a good Pocket Guide book.

That said, you can start expecting some sainthood-related stuff from time-to-time in this blog, as well as regular updates about the writing process. More to come...

Vote Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

Just a friendly reminder: The final day to vote for my story in the ChangeEffect contest is tomorrow (Wednesday, Jan. 30). Voting closes at 11:59 p.m. CST.

Go here to cast your vote for Jason ("The Day I Met Paw-Paw"). Thanks.

Meanwhile, my 5-year-old son Owen cracks me up on a regular basis. Here's what got me laughing tonight.

Check back sometime Wednesday for a big Pocket Guide announcement.

World Time Clock

I love photography, and I also love things that are cool, so when you can combine "coolness" and "photography" into a single site, I am generally interested in it.

Which means this site caught my attention:

The World Time Clock. Here's a website that's pretty much just a collection of photos...but each photo is of a clock showing a specific time. The guys who run it (Shawn Liu & Danny Wen of Iridesco) are trying to collect enough photos of clocks from all over the world to be able to fill every minute of every day with a new clock photo. (Total: 720 minutes -- there's no am/pm distinction.)

Why? Because "these pictures of unfamiliar clocks take us to a different place and remind us of the vastness of the world." Good enough for me. You can submit your own photo via email (here are the instructions) or through the World Clock Project Flickr group.

Which Bible? Part 7 (The New King James)

Back to our series on recycled content from Pocket Guide to the Bible. Earlier entries: the King James Version, the Revised Standard Version, the Jerusalem Bible, the New American Bible, The Living Bible, the NIV. Today? The NKJV.

The New King James Version (NKJV)

First published in: 1982, by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Translation style: Formal Equivalence

Quick description: A brand-new translation made to keep the same phrasing and feel of the old King James. By keeping that pedigreed name on the cover, the publishers hoped to attract any loyal KJV readers looking for something a little less stuffy. Or, in the case of the NIV haters, something a little less demonic.

[Update: Apparently, the NKJV may now be considered just as demonic as the heretical NIV. Sigh.]

Why you should read it: The NKJV is a good, solid, accurate translation with familiar phrasing and wordplay. It sticks closely to the original languages, which is why serious Bible scholars tend to like it.

Not so fast: But because it’s more concerned with accuracy than with readability, it ends up jamming modern words into archaic sentence structure, which is kinda weird. Also, it translates from the same documents available to the original King James translators — notably Erasmus’ Textus Receptus — rather than more trustworthy earlier documents and texts (though it does indicate where some manuscripts differ).

Example:
“You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth” (Exodus 20:4)

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)

ChangeEffect Last Round

Update: I made the Top 5 in the ChangeEffect story contest, in which the winner gets a 3-day, 2-night trip to Chicago (and a Cubs game). For some background, I've written about it already here and here.

Since this is the final round, all previous votes have been cleared and the whole thing starts over. So if you're inclined to vote for me again -- and I sincerely hope you are so inclined -- head back over there for one last vote. You get one vote per computer and email address.

Click here to read the story I submitted, about my grandfather.

Go here to read all the stories... if you have, like, a half-day to waste. Seriously, it would take awhile. Your best bet is to trust me when I tell you that mine should win. While we're at it, you should also trust me when I tell you that I am humble, generous, ruggedly handsome, and a fantastic dancer.

And here is where you go to vote for my story. I appreciate it.

(And while we're on the topic, if you're interested, you can visit our family blog to see a picture of my granddad. He's the older gentleman in the white shirt and suspenders. As you might expect.)

OK. Carry on...

Valentine's Day

February 14 is in three weeks. I'm writing an article about it for TrueU.org, the premise of which is that I don't like Valentine's Day because it's a mandatory romance day. Guys (and girls) are required to be romantic on that day because, if they don't, they will face serious, serious consequences.

Why? Because you have to do something romantic on Valentine's Day. You just have to, even if it's the least you can do, like stopping by the supermarket on the way home from work and dashing through the gauntlet of nervous, sweaty men and grabbing a card without reading it (is it pink? OK, it'll work) then snatching an overpriced bouquet of flowers and quick-stepping past some old lady so you can beat her to the Express Lane. There. You've done your duty. Yay! See how much you love your wife/girlfriend?

But showing love and being romantic out of obligation really isn't true love or authentic romance.

Bringing home flowers that one day a year, giving chocolate that one day just because it's tradition, hastily picking a card and scratching your name on it as a way to fulfill expectations...well, that's just not romantic. At least not to me. Real romance is thoughtful. Real romance is unexpected. Real romance is creative. Valentine's Day romance is none of these. (At least, it isn't the way it's usually celebrated. You can certainly make it meaningful by adding thoughtfulness and surprise and creativity to the romantic gesture. I'd tell you how to do it, but that's sorta the gist of the article. So you'll have to wait a few weeks.)

Anyway, am I off-base? Is Valentine's Day just something that greeting card companies and chocolate-makers and flower shops have conspired to subject you to in order to drive sales during the slow part of February? Feels that way to me.

...and yet, if you ignore it, you're toast. Better start thinking about it now. You've been warned.

So. How do you celebrate Valentine's Day? What do you do to make it special and meaningful and not just a day you're obligated to give a gift? What's the best V-Day gift you've ever given (or received)?

Martin Luther King, Jr.

My favorite MLK quote:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

[from Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (Beacon Press, 1968), p. 62.]

What's funny about the above quote is that, when I first heard it, I didn't know it was from MLK. Brad Corrigan threw that phrase into an interview we did sitting together on the floor of a tiny hotel room in Managua, Nicaragua, the day before the first Dia De Luz in March 2007. What a beautiful thing to say, I thought. That Braddigan sure can turn a phrase.

I'm such a dork. Such an uneducated, ignorant, socially unaware dork.

I got home later and was writing up some articles about Dia De Luz -- which was a profound thing to have experienced, and if you don't know anything about it you should at least read this recap of it and watch this video and, if you're really interested, listen to this short sermon I gave about it at Easter -- and I realized that Dr. King had first written those words. He repeated them, with a slight revision, in his address to the Southern Christian Leadership Conference in 1967.

Anyway. Thank you, Dr. King, for shining light in the darkness and injecting love into the hate. We could all use less darkness and hate. We could all use more light and love.

Which Bible? Part 6 (The NIV)

Now for Part 6 of our survey of popular biblical translations, in which we turn to the Big One: The NIV. Previously appearing in this series: the King James Version, the Revised Standard Version, the Jerusalem Bible, the New American Bible, and The Living Bible.

New International Version (NIV)

First published in: 1978, by the International Bible Society and Zondervan Publishing House

Translation style: Dynamic Equivalence

Quick description: The 800-lb. gorilla of modern English translations. By far, the NIV has become the most popular translation in the world, having sold a staggering 150 million copies since being introduced. As a dynamic equivalence translation, the translators are more interested in hitting the original meanings of certain words and phrases than maintaining word-for-word accuracy. [Footnote: As an example, Mark 6:37 references “two hundred denarii” in the New American Standard Bible. The NIV translates this “eight months of a man’s wages,” then footnotes the literal meaning.]

Why you should read it: Everyone else reads it. The NIV is big among American Evangelicals for its high readability and accuracy.

Not so fast: You can’t get the NIV with any of the deuterocanonical/apocryphal books in it—it’s a Protestant-only translation. Plus, the NIV may be a perversion of scripture made by translators under demonic influence (!) with the intent of denying the deity of Christ and, besides that, pushing a homosexual agenda! No, really. Certain advocates of King James-only Bible reading actually believe this, so beware the NIV’s corrupting influence. [Footnote: For a clear-thinking, evenhanded evaluation of the whole KJV-is-infallible-and-everything-else-is-of-the-devil controversy, read The King James Only Controversy, by James R. White.]

Example:
“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.” (Exodus 20:4)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

As always, there's lots more about this in Pocket Guide to the Bible.

Best Criminal Ever

A robber broke into a flat in Berlin and found the 64-year-old owner of the home already inside. Except the owner was dead. He'd been that way for a couple of weeks. So the breaker-and-enterer called the police and left the place without stealing anything.

Thoughtful burglars are the best.

Hi.

If you're here as a result of this article in the Amarillo Globe-News, then welcome! Recent postings include this one, which links to a story about my grandfather, Amarillo's John Boyett. Others of interest are this one about synesthesia and a series about Bible translations from my book Pocket Guide to the Bible.

Questions? Feedback? Leave a comment...

I Need Your Vote(s)

Last week I mentioned my entry in a contest put together by ChangeEffect, a design group in Chicago. The goal: write an essay about how a certain change has had a profound effect on your life. The prize: a three-day, two-night, airfare-and-hotel-paid trip to Chicago, complete with a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.

Because I have an unfortunate fondness for the Cubs, I plan to win this contest. My essay is about my about my paternal grandfather, Paw-Paw, and how my outlook about him (and myself) changed when I heard his tale of being shot down and imprisoned as a P.O.W. in Nazi Germany during World War II.

The winning entry will be determine by popular vote. So...I need your help.

Please go here to read my story, which is titled "The Day I Met Paw-Paw."

Then click on "VOTE" to vote for my story. Find my name, click the button, and enter your name and email address. You can vote once per computer and address.

If you have time to read the other stories, then they're all collected here. I certainly wouldn't ask you to vote for me without considering the other options. Wait, yes I would. (In fact, I'm doing so now.) But if you want to read the others and THEN vote me, then go right ahead.

Anyway, thanks for your vote. Much appreciated. I'll send you a postcard from Chicago.

Saturdays Are Red: My Synesthesia

I've always been fascinated with neurology and other brain-related science, particularly the kinds of weird stuff Oliver Sacks writes about in his books. One of my favorite brain conditions is synesthesia, the little-understood phenomenon in which the five senses get mixed up in the brain. People "suffering" from this condition -- and I put that in quotes because a lot of synesthetes see it as a gift -- experience crossover when it comes to sensory perception. That is, sometimes things like language or math or music get mixed up with colors or textures or physical sensations.

An example? My sister's friend Tara Leigh Cobble -- a wonderful indie musician and writer whose music and books you should totally check out here -- has always associated musical notes and guitar chords with colors. She didn't think anything of it until, at concerts, she kept telling the sound guys that her guitar sounded "too purple," and she needed it to be more orange. Obviously, this caused some confusion, because what the heck does orange sound like? But to TLC, the link between a certain sound and a certain color was as real as the strings on her guitar.

It's not just colors, either. In this article at Discover Magazine, a woman says that the sound of acoustic guitars feels "like someone is blowing on my ankles." Which is awesome.

There's a great article at Salon this week ("The Letter E is Purple") from Alison Buckholtz about growing up with synesthesia. At first it made her feel, she says, "like a freak." Later she learned to love it as a way to experience the world more deeply. Maybe that's why it's been linked to artistic originality. Duke Ellington had it, "hearing" colors in music. Radiohead's Thom Yorke is said to do the same, along with John Mayer. The great Russian novelist Vladimir Nabokov wrote extensively about his experience of synesthesia in his autobiography.

I'm pretty sure I have a mild form of it. I've always associated colors with numbers and certain letters of the alphabet. It's not anything I ever thought about or voluntarily assigned. It's just always been that way. 1 is royal blue. 2 is a bluish-green. 3 is a golden yellow. 4 is blue-purple. 5 is red. 6 is green. 7 is dark blue. 8 is light yellow. 9 is purple. 10 and 11 don't really have colors, and neither do any other two-digit numbers except for the 'teens, which take on the characteristic of the last digit (13 is golden yellow).

In my mind, a few letters have colors -- E is always blue, F is brown, G is always green -- but not all of them. For instance, Q doesn't have a color, nor does X. My synesthesia also extends to days of the week and months of the year (Wednesday = purple, August = yellow). But that's it. Even though I'm a musician, there's no color/texture/sensory weirdness associated with music. Notes are just notes. Guitars are just guitars.

Anyway, now everyone thinks I'm a crazy person. Which is fine, as long as you understand that my craziness has a name, and there are other people -- creative, successful people -- who are equally crazy. It's never bothered me, or confused me, or made me feel weird. Until I heard of synesthesia in my early 20s, I just thought it was normal.

But I wouldn't trade it at all. It's like the difference between traditional 2D Disney animation I grew up with and the 3D stuff my kids enjoy. The world is deeper, richer, fuller than it would be otherwise (there's a good metaphor for Christianity in there, too). If I had to choose between a black & white alphabet and an alphabet that looks like a rainbow, I'll choose the rainbow everytime.

Here's a good overview of synesthesia for kids.
And Blue Cats and Chartreuse Kittens, by Patricia Lynn Duffy is an excellent book about it.

Any other synesthetes out there?

Which Bible? Part 5 (The Living Bible)

Here's Part 5 of our survey of popular biblical translations, based on Chapter 7 of Pocket Guide to the Bible. Previous entries: the KJV, the RSV, the Jerusalem Bible, and the New American Bible. Today's subject? The Living Bible.

The Living Bible (TLB)

First published in: 1971, by Tyndale House Publishers

Translation style: Paraphrase

Quick description: A bestseller in the early 70s, The Living Bible is a flat-out paraphrase by publisher and author Kenneth Taylor. The language is as clear and conversational as, well, a conversation.

Why you should read it: It’s as readable as any Bible gets. Taylor got the idea while trying to explain difficult passages to his children, so he wrote it with that audience in mind. In that regard, it works pretty well. Unless you’re reading the really violent parts.

Not so fast: It’s a paraphrase of an English translation (according to Taylor, he paraphrased it from the 1901 American Standard Version), so it’s not the most accurate Bible on the shelf when it comes to the original languages.

Example:
“You shall not make yourselves any idols: any images resembling animals, birds, or fish.” (Exodus 20:4)

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

UFOs in Stephenville

The apocalypse is near, and it might be starting in Stephenville, Texas. According to a surprising variety of reports -- including eyewitness accounts from a local law officer and a pilot -- a large, silent, hovering metallic flying object has been sighted in recent days above this small Texas town, located southwest of the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. It was flying "low and fast," according to the AP story, and had bright lights that kept changing configuration. (Probably LEDs.)

Money quote: "People wonder what in the world it is because this is the Bible Belt, and everyone is afraid it's the end of times," said Steve Allen, a freight company owner and pilot who said the object he saw last week was a mile long and half a mile wide. "It was positively, absolutely nothing from these parts."

That's a pretty big mother ship.

Just for kicks, I get separate Google Alerts for news stories that contain "Bible" and for stories containing apocalypse-related language. This story tripped both alerts, thanks to Mr. Allen's theory that alien ships in the Bible Belt may be harbingers of the End of the World. There's nothing specifically about spacecraft in the book of Revelation, but you could probably tweak several of the more bizarre metaphors -- the deadly locusts with human faces, lion teeth, horse bodies, womanly hair and scorpion-like stingers could easily refer to UFOs, right? -- in order to project an Independence Day scenario into the biblical account of the Apocalypse.

And didn't Ezekiel see some flying saucers, too?

One important detail I forgot to mention: According to the AP story, at one point, the UFO may have even had fighter jets chasing it. The ship has been sighted several times, by several people. Officials think it was probably just a commercial jet. Because the sun can play tricks on you -- the kind of tricks where a Southwest Airlines jet suddenly looks like a mile-long, saucer-shaped, color-changing metallic disc being chased by military aircraft. You know how the sun can be: all glare-y and super-tricky.

If sightings of Will Smith in military fatigues begin to pop-up in Stephenville? I'm totally going there.

Which Bible? Part 4 (New American Bible)

Next stop on our tour through Chapter 7 of Pocket Guide to the Bible, which details the most popular biblical translations. Previously, we covered the KJV, the RSV, and The Jerusalem Bible. Today's subject is the New American Bible.

New American Bible (NAB)

First published in: 1970, by the Catholic Bible Association of America

Translation style: Formal Equivalence

Quick description: The official Roman Catholic Bible for public reading, and along with the Jerusalem Bible, one of the Catholic church’s most popular translations.

Why you should read it: If you’re a Catholic, this is what’s being read at Mass. Plus, the high-quality translation maintains the delicate balance between word-for-word equivalence and good readin’.

Not so fast: The footnotes are chockabloc with Catholic doctrine, so Protestants may be a little uncomfortable with all the popishness and references to Church councils. Plus there’s that whole Deuterocanonical section to worry about.

Example:
“You shall not carve idols for yourselves in the shape of anything in the sky above or on the earth below or in the waters beneath the earth” (Exodus 20:4)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

Mission 2540 Video

I don't ever list it as one of my specialties -- like writing or speaking or making fake band tshirts -- but I also do a little video editing and production on the side. Way over on the side.

Here's a video I shot and edited for my brother's ministry, Mission 2540.

Best. Story. Ever.

According to Reuters: A Polish man discovers his wife working at a brothel.

Husband: What are you doing here?

Wife: What are you doing here?

"The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing."

Well now.

Change, Chicago, and Paw-Paw

I'm a Cubs fan. Have been since 1980 or so, when my brother and I discovered WGN on cable during those long summer afternoons when we were tired of building 12-inch-high forts out of the big pile of extra bricks in our backyard. The Cubs are a sad, sad thing to be passionate about, but there it is. Even sadder is the fact that I've ended up turning my wife into a Cubs fan, too. Which is great and everything because now we'll always have something in common: late-September irritability and depression.

Anyway, we always try to make at least one or two games every season. Last year we watched the Cubs lose two games to the Rangers in Arlington (though we were there to witness Sammy Sosa's 600th home run, which was sort of bittersweet in itself). In recent years, we've traveled to Houston to watch them play the Astros. But the best trips are always when we go to Chicago to watch them play at Wrigley Field. Our last trip there was in the late summer of 2006.

But I have a plan to get there in 2008, and best of all, you get to help me do it.

My friends at CHANGE Design Group in Chicago have changed their name to CHANGE Effect. In a cool marketing campaign to make sure everyone knows about the new name, they're inviting people to submit stories of how a certain change has had a profound effect on their lives. All the stories will be gathered this week, and then visitors to the website will vote for the best story. The winner gets a three-day, two-night, airfare-and-hotel-paid trip to Chicago, complete with a game at Wrigley. And that winner? Is gonna be me.

I've submitted a story about my paternal grandfather, Paw-Paw, and how a lot of things changed for me when I heard his tale of being shot down and imprisoned as a P.O.W. in Nazi Germany during World War II. Paw-Paw still lives here in Amarillo with most of our family, and he continues to inspire us. Anyway, I need your votes. The first round ends January 15, when the top 20 vote-getting stories will move on to the next round. (If my story moves up, I'll need your votes again next week.)

So will you help my wife and I go to Chicago this year? Go here to read about Paw-Paw, then go here to vote for the story. I'll owe you one.

I'll owe Paw-Paw one, too. We'll just add it to the tab.

Which Bible? Part 3 (The Jerusalem Bible)

We're summarizing the most popular biblical translations, as listed in my most recent book, Pocket Guide to the Bible. Previously, we looked at the King James Version and the Revised Standard Version. Today's subject is...

The Jerusalem Bible (RSV)

First published in: 1966, by Darton Longman & Todd, Ltd. and Doubleday

Translation style: Dynamic Equivalence

Quick description: The first English translation the pope allows to be made from the original languages, rather than the Latin Vulgate. It's initially published in French by a group of monks working in Jerusalem. (That's where the name comes from, and it's a good thing they weren't working in Toad Suck, Arkansas.) Based on its success, they get to work immediately on an English one.

Why you should read it: It was the first widely accepted Catholic English translation of the Bible, and its impeccable scholarship and linguistic style win both Catholic and Protestant fans. As a bonus, one of the English stylists to work with the translators is none other than J.R.R. Tolkien, of The Lord of the Rings fame. Which means the Jerusalem Bible is preferred by four out of five fanboys.

Not so fast: Its introductions and notes tend to lean leftward in terms of doctrine, so it makes conservative Bible readers a little itchy. Plus, there's that part where Gandalf shows up to help Joshua defeat the Gibeonites along the Beth Horon Pass.

Example:
“You shall not make yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything in heaven or on earth beneath or in the waters under the earth.” (Exodus 20:4)

“Yes, God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not be lost but may have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

_______________

Have you ever read the Jerusalem Bible? Like it? What translation do you prefer?

Which Bible? Part 2 (RSV)

We're sprinting through Chapter 7 of Pocket Guide to the Bible, which details the most popular biblical translations. Previously, we covered the familiar and intimidating KJV. Today's subject is the Revised Standard Version.

The Revised Standard Version (RSV)

First published in: 1952, by Thomas Nelson & Sons
Translation style: Formal Equivalence

Quick description: The first serious challenger to the King James, mainly a re-translation that builds on its solid base while trying to make the text more understandable. It keeps much of the familiar phraseology of the King James, including the thees and thous…but only in reference to God.

Why you should read it: Because it still feels like the King James but is a teensy bit more modern.

Not so fast: Hardly anyone reads this version anymore, it seems, so you’ll be all alone in your RSV devotion. Plus, some folks think this translation is tainted by godless liberalism. Why? Because the RSV’s translation of Isaiah 7:14 -- a verse traditionally considered to be a prophecy of Christ’s birth -- replaces “virgin” with “young woman.” (Footnote: “Young woman” is actually the more accurate translation of the Hebrew word almah, which is used in the Isaiah passage and is not, in fact, a technical word for “virgin.” But, it generally appears in the context of virginity. And when the Gospel writer references the Isaiah phrase in Matthew 1:23, he uses “virgin” for sure. So, obviously, communism is involved.)

Incensed, some Christians take to burning this translation in the years immediately following its release. Before long, they’re actually charging members of the translation panel with communism. Senator Joseph McCarthy even sticks his red-sniffing nose in the fray. This is why a lot of people decided it would be better to just stick with the non-commie KJV. And by "stick with," I mean "believe to be divinely inspired."

Example:
“You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.” (Exodus 20:4)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

Previously: The King James Bible
Up next: The Jerusalem Bible

The Manga Bible

What Christianity really needs, I've been thinking, is a version of the Bible that's way more manga than your typical no-pictures, text-only Bible translations. Sure, our Bibles occasionally have illustrations, but it's of the passive, gauzy, Jesus-holding-a-near-comatose-lamb variety. And Jesus always has pretty blow-dried hair. Where is the violence? Where's the smiting? Where's all the demon-slaying? What my faith was lacking is some edgy art.

Well, not any more. Because now I can read The Manga Bible, which brings "a whole new dimension to the most important book in history." Apparently, in this whole new dimension, Jesus has the stringy hair of Eddie Vedder (about two hours into a Pearl Jam concert), the gaunt pallor of a heroin addict, and a skinny-but-ripped physique.

Needless to say, my prayers have been answered.

Here's a good article about The Manga Bible and the whole Bible-repackaging biz.

Which Bible Do You Read?

I'm not quite ready to begin talking about my next Pocket Guide, so let's take this opportunity to introduce you to some previous versions. First up: Pocket Guide to the Bible. One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 7 — "Versions and Perversions: A Selective Survey of Translations." It details the most popular biblical translations, starting with the most famous of all: the KJV.

Here's what the Pocket Guide said about it... (pp. 159-160)

The King James Version/Authorized Version (KJV/AV1611)

First published in: 1611, by the Church of England, at King James' behest.

Translation style: Formal Equivalence

Quick description: The great-granddaddy of English Bibles and what you probably default to when reciting the Lord's Prayer or the Twenty-third Psalm or the Christmas Story from the book of Luke. Pretty much the most important book in Western civilization.

Why you should read it: Because this is what the Bible's supposed to sound like. All the rich, grandiose language — with verbs ending in -eth and a host of thees and thous — make it seem, well, holier than modern translations. Plus, if you don't read this version, you're apparently going to hell. (Footnote: This is the viewpoint of a branch of extremely fundamentalist Independent Baptist Churches, who believe the 1611 Authorized Version of the Bible to be divinely inspired — in addition to, and occasionally in place of, the original manuscripts. Most of this line of thinking developed during the whole demon-RSV brouhaha, which you'll learn about tomorrow.)

Not so fast: The Shakespearean language sounds cool but can be difficult to understand. People who find the Bible incomprehensible probably came to this conclusion upon reading the archaic King James. And in that case, they're right. Plus, biblical scholarship has grown a lot since the seventeenth century, so modern versions are slightly more accurate.

Examples:
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. (Exodus 20:4)

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Tomorrow: A quick overview of the Revised Standard Version.

In the meantime, what do you like about the KJV?

If you must read the Bible, read it quietly

So a fellow Texan got kicked off her bus for reading the Bible to her children last Saturday on the way to church (she was Seventh-Day Adventist, and they go to church on Saturdays, because that's how Jesus did it). However, before anyone started yelling Free Speech! or Religious Persecution! or Donna Martin graduates!, Fort Worth transportation officials made it clear that the lady wasn't kicked off because she was reading the Bible. Nope. It was the volume: She was reading the Bible too loudly.

The mom says she was only teaching her kids. The authorities say, sure, but did you have to disturb everyone else while doing it? The bus driver asked her to use her inside voice but she refused. Because scripture, apparently, should be read with gusto. So the bus driver pulled over and let the mom and her kids off for violating the please-keep-quiet-on-the-bus rule. It all worked out fine, though, because the family was transferred to the van of a transportation supervisor and taken the rest of the way to church.

Mom: "Then Jesus said to them, 'The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.' "

Little Jimmy: "What? Did you say Jesus is Lord of the rabbits? What about the Easter Bunny?"

Mom: "No, 'Lord of the Sabbath.' Like Saturdays."

Little Jimmy: "The Easter Bunny's coming on Saturday?!?"

Mom: "No! I said, 'THE SON OF MAN IS LORD OF THE SABBATH!'"

Little Jimmy: "Quit shouting, Mommy. Why is the bus driver pulling over? Why is everyone staring at us?"

Mom: "Because they probably go to church on Sundays, dear, and don't understand. Look, here's our ride!"

Moral of the story: If you want to read to your kids about Jesus while uneventfully riding public transportation on the way to church, then all you have to do is read quietly. If you're tired of the public thing and want some private transportation, along with a little national news exposure, then be obnoxious about it.