Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Man Hair and the Scandal Theory

I have long had a theory that, again, has proven to be accurate due to recent events. Please consider the following photos and see if you can guess the connection:



Rod Blagojevich (left): Current Illinois governor who was just arrested in a corruption scandal.

John Edwards (middle): Former presidential candidate and former U.S. Senator who was outed for having an adulterous affair while his wife was being treated for cancer.

Ted Haggard (right): Former big-time pastor and leader of the National Association of Evangelicals, who resigned in 2006 after a big same-sex prostitution/methamphetamine scandal broke.

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Q: What do all these guys have in common, other than being white, powerful, and scandalous?

A: Each of them has overly coiffed hair.

The implications of this are clear: Men who are too fussy about their hair should not be trusted. In this context, "fussiness" can be defined by the following conditions:

1) The use of an inordinate amount of product in one's hairstyle.

2) The need for a brush to maintain said hairstyle.

3) Feathering

And I say this fully aware that yesterday I admitted to my own indiscretions related to hair fussiness. Though I don't have enough hair to brush or feather, clearly I am not to be trusted either.

Anyway, I contend that all men should either shave their heads, maintain simple haircuts, or wear hats...just to stay out of trouble. Never trust a pastor wearing a toupee, and never trust a man with feathery hair.

Agree or disagree?

5 comments:

rickyg said...

I worked for a Pator right here in Amarillo that wasn't fooling anyone with his toupee. You can see it Sunday mornings on ABC around 8 am.

rickyg said...

I meant Pastor not Pator. Whatever that is...

Eric Castillo said...

you theory may be well-founded. this headline from the chicago sun-times:

Gov's chestnut mane might be sign of narcissistic personality disorder, psychologists say

davidmac said...

I guess I need to re-think my hairdo decisions http://www.davidmacomber.com/blog/?p=188

Anonymous said...

If this theory is true, what's to become of Conan O'Brien?