My friend and blogging superstar Bryan had a great idea for a blog post -- the "confession booth" -- so I'm gonna flat-out steal it from him and do the exact same thing. Only I hope our list will be different, because the fact that he once walked around snacking on a pocketful of McDonald's chicken is just nasty and bizarre.
So...here are some personal beans I need to spill:
1. I am generally a fan of simplicity, order, and cleanliness, but my office desk is almost always a mess.
2. The floor of my closet is also a mess. Because often I come home, change clothes, and leave my jeans on the floor. Why? Because I'll probably wear them again in a day or two, unwashed.
3. If given the choice, I will almost always wear slip-on shoes, because I am too lazy to lace up normal grown-up shoes. I have a black pair and a brown pair of $10 casual slip-ons from Old Navy, and I wear one of these sets almost daily.
4. I would love for you to list me on your blogroll, but I probably won't return the favor. Because I am a jerk. Also because my blogroll is way way way down on the page and I usually forget about it.
5. There have been times I have driven, alone, in my wife's car (which we use to ferry the kids around) and have listened to a soundtrack from one of the three High School Musical CDs. And I have sung along, with reckless abandon. All by myself.
6. Sometimes I see people I know at the supermarket or Wal-Mart, and I pretend I didn't see them. Occasionaly I even duck into a nearby aisle or walk the other direction. This is because I am antisocial and possibly misanthropic.
7. In a related note, I would rather talk to you via email or IM than on the phone. This is because I am antisocial AND a writer.
8. If I am swimming laps in a pool and some new person starts swimming in the lane beside me, I will almost always increase my pace so that I am swimming faster than him or her. This is because I am vain and competitive and a little bit of a tool.
9. I will almost always think less of you if you are a) wearing a Bluetooth earpiece; b) wearing your baseball cap backwards; or c) wearing your sunglasses on the back of your head for no good reason.
10. I'm pretty sure I believe that some sort of sasquatch/yeti/bigfoot creature exists in the Pacific Northwest and the Himilayas. Nothing would frighten me more than seeing one, though.
11. I drive above the speed limit on a regular basis. I have enjoyed pirated music on occasion. But I always buy a fishing license even when fishing in remote wilderness areas where there is zero chance of being checked by a ranger.
12. I have contempt in my heart for people who toss cigarette butts on the ground, because it's still littering even if it's small, Smoky McCancerstick.
13. I might wash the exterior of my car once every two years. And that's pretty much it.
BONUS #14: Occasionally my sister-in-law will frost my mom's hair on Friday nights when we're hanging out at my parents' house. If I happen to be there -- maybe a couple of times a year -- I get the tips of my own hair frosted. Because I have blonde hair to begin with, the frosted tips are only slightly lighter than my natural color and it's fairly hard to tell I have done this: it only makes me look super-blonde instead of regular blonde. But I like it because the chemicals make my fine hair more manageable. Also because it looks kinda surfery-cool. Nevertheless, if you are a man with dark hair and you frost your tips? I will totally make fun of you for being overly fussy about your hair.
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Confess your own sins or oddities in the comments below, or at Bryan's site. Because confession is good for the soul. And also it's fun to read.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
13 Confessions and a Really Vain Bonus
Posted by
Jason Boyett
at
11:45 AM
Labels: confession, lists
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9 comments:
Confession: I like fake Jason a little more than the real one...
You have hair?
When I get done reading a book I like, I have trouble picking up a new one. I look at all other books as inferior. I get over it eventually.
I rarely like a posed picture as well as a candid.
I once asked God to let me walk through a wall into Rainbow Brite's world even though I knew it was pretend. Then I had to have a serious theological discussion with Mom about that whole ask and you'll receive thing.
I cried at an episode of Kelly Ripa's show Hope and Faith, but I didn't cry when I got engaged.
I'm beginning to wonder if admitting to the chicken fajitas in my pocket was a good idea. I have a feeling this could work against me down the line...
"Mr. Allain, we'd love to sign you to this book deal, but it's come to our attention that in 1993 you placed a handful of warm chicken meat directly into your pocket? For the love of God, please tell us this is untrue."
@rickyg: I join you in that confession.
@jeremy: shut up.
@serenity: Wow. Unanswered prayers for a trip to Rainbow Brite world? I am SO glad I've not had to have that theological discussion with my kids.
@Bryan: You seriously should have thought the chicken thing through. I mean, a pocket filled with warm chicken fajitas from a legitimate Tex-mex restaurant would be one thing, but McDonald's? Sweet tender niblets! BTW, when I refer to you in the future, it will always be as Bryan "Chickenpockets" Allain, with a link to that post.
I cry foul!
If everyone was referred to by a mistake they made in their junior year of high school, who would want to go on living?
don't make me interview people you knew in high school!
@chickenpockets: Actually...I wouldn't mind. They would all say something to the effect of "He was really quiet and he had a blonde mullet." Those are pretty much the only ways I distinguished myself.
Fellow THS Rebels? If you're reading, back me up.
Jason was mostly known for being quiet and sporting a blond mullet. Oh, and once he exited geometry class via the window. I know this because we planned and executed it together. (The planning: "Hey, let's leave class through the window.") He also had a very highly-arcing free throw, and was known to befriend the loners of the school. I always thought this was an example of his kind heart; later I discovered he was attempting to amass an army of followers to do his bidding.
3...Slip-on shoes are the best thing since Spiderman-shaped Mac n' Cheese. I hate lacing/tying, and I usually sit with at least one foot in my chair, which is clearly more comfortable sans shoes.
5...I've been caught rocking out to radio disney on more than one occasion.
6...It makes me feel like a jerk, but I do it anyway.
This was fun, an eerily similar post will probably show up on my blog in a few days...
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