I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately, mainly because I just finished writing a chapter about prayer in my "doubt" manuscript for Zondervan.
Mainly it's about my problems with prayer -- including:
1. How I don't understand it very well (but am learning to re-understand it)
2. How my attitude about it is wrong because I get increasingly annoyed by the way I pray in public (mainly worrying about what people think about my prayer)
3. How I also get annoyed by the way other people pray in public (mainly worrying about how many times they say the fake humble word "just" -- too many -- and how often they use some variant of Father, Lord, God, LordGod, or FatherGod in place of commas and periods, as if we need to keep calling God by name every few phrases to make sure we keep his attention)
4. How my tendency to judge other people's prayers pretty much makes me a horrible person.
The chapter explains how rarely I pray these days using the good-old Southern Baptist, conversational, make-it-up-as-you-go-along approach to prayer. Instead, when I do pray -- which, admittedly, isn't often enough -- I find myself relying on selections from the Book of Common Prayer or to the Lord's Prayer or to other prayers from scripture.
But mainly I return, all the time, to two sentence-long prayers that are easy to remember, are almost always truthful, and are almost always appropriate.
One is known in Orthodox and contemplative circles as "The Jesus Prayer." There are several variations of it, but the one I like most is:
The other is one I learned from my parents and teachers over the years, who just wanted me to be polite but ended up teaching me the importance of gratitude. That prayer is this:
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That's my confession. How do you pray?
19 comments:
Hey Jason
Enjoyed your post and can relate to your frustrations. I've tried so many things over the years and still haven't found a "groove" for public prayer. I love the simplicity of the prayers you posted, another that always gets the heart connect for me is:
Father you will be done, not mine. Help me to know the difference.
Do you have prayer beads? They are the Anglican version of the rosary and have prayers similar to the one you suggested. I have been praying with them on and off for the past year and love it.
I think it was L'Engle that said that icons are good if they lead you to something beyond. (Is that right?) I have found that this is the case with those little beads in my hands. They have become a comfort, a concentration of sorts, on The One that is...well, just in control. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
Angela:
Yes, I have prayer beads and use them occasionally -- If anyone's interested, fullcirclebeads.com is a good place to get them.
Good stuff. I pray "Not my will, but yours be done". It's the model prayer and also is the recorded version of what Jesus prayed in the Garden. Or sometimes just what comes to mind. "Oh yeah, God, what about this..."
I worked with a guy one summer at HFR that said "Father God" more than any human should have been allowed. It was so distracting we would laugh, even in front of campers. I think the record we counted was like 47 times in a 2 minute prayer. If I said your name 47 times in 2 minutes you'd probably think I was mental...
Any thoughts on Prayer Flags?
Once again, thanks for being honest enough to get the rest of us to shed some of our fake shells.
The first thing that helped me was the observation that prayer is not about changing God, it's about changing you (or me, you know, the person doing the praying).
That being said, I'm pretty awful at the prayer thing, for many of the same reasons you've listed - but I'll go a step further - I find myself cringing anytime it comes time to "take prayer requests" whether it's during a service or bible study or whatever - it just seems like that's when everyone starts thinking, "OK, who do I know who is in the hospital, or has a cold, or is having a hard time with their arthritis?" - I mean, so many of these turn into medical updates or some veiled form of gossip (we've really got to pray for the Smiths and the troubles they're having in their marriage),or, worst of all, the prayers for the friend of the cousin of the co-worker whose having problems and/or the person who wants to pray for some situation they just saw on CNN before they came to the prayer meeting.
Jeez Jason, what is it about your writing that leads me to having these unstoppable rants?!
OK, while I'm at it, I have to throw this one out - along the same lines as Matt's "Father God" guy - I know this gentlemen with whom you can have a perfectly normal conversation, then when it comes time to pray, you'd think he just came from the nearest Shakespeare festival, "Gracious Heavenly Father, we thank thee for thy mercy and beseech thee for..." - it's just a little weird.
OK, I'm going to a prayer meeting now...
Should prayer be objectified or made into a concrete practice that we have to sit or bow or stand in a certain way 3 times a day? I'm really just asking. I feel like I pray all day. When I think of my wife or my missionary friends or of something that needs prayer I find myself asking or talking to God about it. Maybe I'm just trying to justify that I suck at this...
I too find myself praying all day. I ask God about everything, even help with parking places. Over the years as my relationship with Christ has changed, I find my self praying, even out loud, just as I might talk to a friend. My family finds it humorous and sometime chuckle at my, "and you know what God..." or "gee it would be cool if..." or "what was the name of that guy God?...". I think God wants us to pray real prayers, express our frustrations, our joy, our deep desire for those we love that need to straighten up to do so. (Or...those who are blinded by Obama's charm to start thinking for themselves. HA!) I just had to throw that in!
This is off-topic, but let me come to my own defense. In a city where 95% of the population is voting McCain, and in a family where everyone but me is voting McCain, and in a workplace where everyone but me is voting McCain...I'm pretty sure, at this point, I'm thinking for myself.
That's all.
"lord, I believe; help my unbelief"
Besides prayer beads, which have been great for me as well...I love using icons. It's really taught me to pray with a different part of my brain other than the part that says "Father God" in place of periods.
Great book: Henri Nowen "Behold the Beauty of the Lord: Praying With Icons"
I have found myself, especially lately, just talking to God. Which I guess would actually be praying - trying not to get so caught up in the words and not be concerned if it is an appropiate prayer. The sweetest prayers I have ever heard have come from my sweet children, and they aren't worried about anything but talking to God. And I think that's how God wants our walks to be, and that includes prayer. There is no special formula. Just an open heart and childlike desire for him. Sounds simple. Too bad it's sometimes not.
I mean appropriate. :)
As for public prayer. I am the worship leader at my church and I always get nervous during "prayer time" of the service. Sometimes I have nothing to say but just stand silently in awe...
I have been guilty of using prayer as a subtle way to make announcements and transition to different songs.
Has anyone else noticed that - no matter what approach we take in our prayers - we all seem to be convinced that we are doing it wrong?
Look at it this way: if your little child comes up and sincerely wants to talk to you about something, do you really care what style of words they use, or even what they actually say?
I mean, wouldn't you just be thrilled that your child wanted to be near you and talk to you for a while?
I think we are fooling ourselves by imputing our human hang ups on a Holy God. He is never to busy to listen to us even if we don't make sense. After all, He knows the cry of our heart even if we don't.
Great discussion, Jason. Thank you for kicking it off.
"too busy", not "to busy"
You see, I can't even keep from correcting myself in a post comment.
I'm far too hung up on trivial details.
A few days ago I was given this article to read about prayer. It's given me a lot to think about and changed the way I see prayer. It uses the parable of the widow in Luke 18 as an example of how we should pray: refuse to accept the world as it is, but continue going to God, pleading for justice (like the Psalms often do). It's a pretty easy read too: http://resources.campusforchrist.org/images/3/33/David_Wells.pdf.
Good article. Thanks for the link, randomdtd.
I heard someone say once that we many times pray people out of Heaven (people who are sick but followers of Jesus) and pray people into Hell (by not praying for the lost). Just a thought.
I'll pray about it.
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